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Are you okay with common law marriage?

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Marcia, Mar 2, 2010.

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  1. Yes, I see no biblical problems with it if the state recognizes it.

    15 vote(s)
    44.1%
  2. No, I do not think this is biblical marriage (say why).

    15 vote(s)
    44.1%
  3. Not sure

    3 vote(s)
    8.8%
  4. Other (please explain)

    1 vote(s)
    2.9%
  1. Allan

    Allan Active Member

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    I voted no.

    Living together is not marriage.
    The act of marriage is where a man and a woman leave their birth families and cleave to one another. That is the 'basic' definition. However there is more to it, even biblically than this.
    We note that first and foremost, marriage is observed and sanctioned by God (Gen 2:18, 21-24), therefore by nature it is both spiritual and religious.

    And without going into vast amounts of scripture the 'Church' and marriage are used to illistrate each other because they mirror each other. Both are public, both are before those who witness and affirm the relationship, ergo you will have someone of or over that group presiding, speaking for and thus establishing the merging of of the two choosing to become one. [however the actaul 'ceremony' (words or proclaimations) is not defined in scripture and therefore adaptable to different cultures] As well as how they each should function for the best growth and exhortation of each other. Scripture also shows the woman is given to the man if she approves (which was rare she did not), he prepares everything before the actaul marriage, and then go to get her for the ceramony and celebration. Just as God will do with the Church.



    On another note -= even psycologists will tell you there is a huge difference in mentallity/thought, between living together and being married.
     
    #21 Allan, Mar 2, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 3, 2010
  2. donnA

    donnA Active Member

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    last time this topic came up I posted multiple links thats said that in ancient israel they did indeed sign a legal contract for marriage.
     
  3. Gold Dragon

    Gold Dragon Well-Known Member

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    From a secular perspective, common-law marriages are useful for legal purposes with regard to things like taxation, medical consent, spousal or child support, etc.

    From a Christian perspective, there is a period of time leading up to the legally recognized common-law marriage where sex outside of marriage is occurring and scripture is pretty clear that this is sin. However, once that period has passed, I believe it is a legally recognized marriage and no longer sin.

    So I have no problems with a Christian in a common-law marriage who repented for their sinful period before the common-law marriage was formally recognized by their state.
     
  4. Magnetic Poles

    Magnetic Poles New Member

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    LIke many others here, this post reflects a misunderstanding about common law marriages. They are not just "living together" or "shacking up". It is just another way that some jurisdictions permit a legal marriage to be established. Plain and simple really.
     
  5. Magnetic Poles

    Magnetic Poles New Member

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    Not true. Do you have any evidence for either of these assertions. It is perfectly legal to cohabitate without any intention of establishing a marriage. That is not common law marriage, which is not mere living together.
     
  6. Aaron

    Aaron Member
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    This, again, is not true. Homosexuals cannot marry under common law.
     
  7. Spinach

    Spinach New Member

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    I didn't vote. I think you are painting a messy picture with a rather broad brush. No, I'm not for shacking up. I'm not for ongoing fornication.

    However, one does not need a government document to be married, Biblically.

    Or, I'll let Aaron and MP speak for me on this issue.

    I personally have a marriage license. However, my marriage is much more than that paper. If I didn't have it, I would still be very much married in the eyes of God.
     
  8. Spinach

    Spinach New Member

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    Yes, there are some who are "shacking up". They are living together with no intention of marriage---common law or with license. This is wrong.

    And, DonnA, I would thank you to not accuse me of being for homosexual marriages. Not only are you wrong, it is insulting. Being for common law marriage is not being for any forms of sexual sin. There are many reasons why a couple would prefer to marry this way. And they have been explained, if you would stop being so stubborn for just a minute.
     
  9. Allan

    Allan Active Member

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    No doubt and very true, yet it was not 'necessary' in order to be married in a biblical sense. The addition of a legal contract was due in part to that cultures desire for established and verifiable unions and legal recourse in case infidelity and other such issues might, by chance, arise.
     
    #29 Allan, Mar 3, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 3, 2010
  10. Allan

    Allan Active Member

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    And like many others who post without any real understanding of what they are replying to, you show yourself in error.

    I understand perfectly well about common law marriage, and I disagree with the idea of it. Can civil government create law(s) that I/we disagree with whether in principle or fact? Yes.

    However, I am answering from a 'biblical' perspective, not a secular one, and therefore from 'that' perspective I am relaying the reason why I disagree.

    The secular world can state and decree what it wishes, but the church does not and should not conform to that which is contrary to scripture and its principles. - Editted in.. Please understand the previous sentense is refering to the 'rightness' of common law marriage for believers and what constitutes a bibilical understanding of marriage. Not that the people are or are not acatully married through the Law.

    Unfortunately, you are wrong. It is exactly that because that is biblically just what it is. If people are 'living together' and calling each other husband and wife, receiving the benifits designed by God to be only received by actual married couples, and still waiting for your time to run out so you can be 'called' married by the government - then you are - shacking up and living together. It is sin, plain and simple.

    You can not slowly become married (a little bit more and more over time) anymore than one can slowly become saved or a part of the church.
    There is a reason scripture uses these two events (marriage and salvation/church) as both illistrative and representitive of each other.

    However what needs to be equally noted is that Common law marriage has been eliminated in many jurisdictions. This due largely in part because of the all the potential problems it creates, especially when dealing with legal issues regarding medical situations, death, and divorce - because you have to establish your maritial position. (even at times proving you're are actaully common law married)..

    From the Canadian Encyclopedia on "Marriage and Divorce" :
    From Wiki on Divorce with respect to the USA:
    States Permitting Common Law Marriage
    Alabama
    Colorado
    District of Columbia
    Iowa
    Kansas
    Montana
    Oklahoma
    Rhode Island
    South Carolina
    Texas
    Utah

    States Permitting Certain Common Law Marriages
    Georgia (if the elements were satisfied before January 1, 1997)
    Idaho (if the elements were satisfied before January 1, 1996)
    New Hampshire (for inheritance only)
    Ohio (if the elements were satisfied before October 10, 1991)
    Pennsylvania (if the elements were satisfied before January 1, 2005)


    What is MOST NEEDED, I believe, is primarily that each church (and secondarily Associations, or denomination) needs to establish, in a biblical sense, what it considers to be a proper marriage. The world can do what it wishes but the church needs to establish firm but biblical boundries as to what scripture speaks to when discussing 'a marriage'.

    Secondly, I can yield to the civil governments law of civil marriage while still disagreeing with it, in fact and principle.
     
    #30 Allan, Mar 3, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 3, 2010
  11. Aaron

    Aaron Member
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    Does anyone participating in this thread really know what common law is? I'm not asking if anyone knows what common law marriage is. The ignorance spouted on the subject in this thread by those who keep insisting it is mere cohabitation for a time is colossal.

    I'm asking, does anyone know what common law is?
     
  12. Allan

    Allan Active Member

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    Sure! Found here:


    It would be colossally ignorant to state or assume that the actions of a few or some would establish a 'common law' when that is actaully established by the "universal consent and immemorial practice of the people" [as a whole] which sets up this rule of law.

    And since 'common law marriage' is NOT the universal consent and immemorial practice of the people (specifically in the US) it can not, with any accuracy, be deemed or proposed as common law - again this especially when speaking of common law marriage -- (the living together of two people with the intent to one day become a union)
     
    #32 Allan, Mar 3, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 3, 2010
  13. Magnetic Poles

    Magnetic Poles New Member

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    Allan, your posts are so full of errors that have already been addressed. But here is a recent study showing most couples who do cohabitate prior to marriage DO get married. CLICK HERE

    And this is NOT common law marriage. Just living together. The method of executing a marriage is irrelevant. Marriage is in the hearts and minds of the parties in it. Like Spinach said, even without my licence, I would still be just as married to my lovely bride of 36 years. There is no mojo that makes a piece of paper part of that commitment.
     
  14. Zenas

    Zenas Active Member

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    There has been a lot of discussion of common law marriage here, despite Aaron's O.P. that said nothing about marriage. To clarify things, or muddy the waters depending on your POV, here is how Black's Law Dictionary, 8th ed., defines it:
    This seems to be at odds with my previous assertion that common law marriages just happen without intent to be married. I also stated I don't know any cohabiting couples who intend to be married through their long cohabitation and that is true, most likely because my state does not recognize common law marriage.
     
  15. dcorbett

    dcorbett Active Member
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    Interesting thread. Common law was defined, and we see that the people make the common law.......so it is a democratic process. So if the majority rule??? But in this country, the COURTS rule, not the majority of the people. So the definition of common law has essentually been altered!


    If it is against God's law, that supercedes man's law. I know where the scripture is that speaks against homsexuality. I know that the Bible speaks of Pastors and deacons having one wife. How did one become a wife back then? Ceremonies have been performed for as long as history has been recorded.....cultural rites of passage.
     
  16. Allan

    Allan Active Member

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    THere is no errors in my post. However there IS error in your retort. I have not argued that people who live together or shack up don't get married.

    I was not talking about 'just living together'. However living together or shacking up with the entent to one day 'be married' is unscriptural or IOW- unbiblical. I do agree with you in respect to or concerning secular societies views of how a marriage is excuted is irrelevant. However with respect to believers, this is a different matter. We are governed by scripture, not personal opinions and views.

    Yes, I heard this same kind of tripe from a youth pastor who told a group of 57 young teens if you have s*x and consider yourselves married, then you are and no piece of paper can prove otherwise. Can you guess how many of them 'got married' with 2 weeks. I can tell the exact number because they came back tell others and the youth pastor. (and since so many were 'getting married' they had a celebration party- parents included) It is a church in Gravette, AR. There is more to being married than 'something' in the heart and mind of two people, and yes, it is more than just a peice of paper. Yes, ignorance is bliss for those who want to live like world.
     
    #36 Allan, Mar 3, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 3, 2010
  17. Jim1999

    Jim1999 <img src =/Jim1999.jpg>

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    Common law marriage becomes legal on Ontario, Canada, when a couple live together for one year and submit a joint tax for that year. After this the couple have equal rights under the law as do legally married couples.

    Whilst I prefer a "legal" marriage service, I see nothing wrong with common law marriages in Ontario.

    Couples who have their banns published publicly in church for three consecutive Sundays do not require a provincial licence to marry, but the minister does submit a form of declaration making the union legal before the government. There is no fee for this submission. I think this meets the biblical requirements.

    Cheers,

    Jim
     
  18. Allan

    Allan Active Member

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    You think a couple living together for a year prior (of whatever amount of time) to being actaully wed, is biblical?

    Please provide scriptural support for this, since you contend it is bibilcal for a couple to live together for (whatever duration) before getting married.


    NOTE: Please understand, I am not invalidating the states/countries authority to declare a couple married, if the state says they are according to the laws, then they are. However biblically, we have grounds to disagree about the process and moral aspects that a marriage should consist both in and of.
     
    #38 Allan, Mar 3, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 3, 2010
  19. Crabtownboy

    Crabtownboy Well-Known Member
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    What makes a marriage? Is it love and commitment to each other ... does this make a marriage? Or is it the ceremony that makes a marriage?

    Would you say that a man and woman who do not like each other, but are married in a church with a license, say for inheritance reason or any other of a number of reasons ... is there really a marriage?
     
    #39 Crabtownboy, Mar 3, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 3, 2010
  20. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94 Active Member

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    I'm not saying it is MORALLY right, I'm just saying that it's legally accepted. Big difference there.

    As Christians, we use the Bible as our authority. Non-Christians do not apply the Bible, they apply the law of man. That doesn't make sin "ok" but it does make it legal.

    If a common law couple got saved and wanted to join the church, I'm sure my dh would advise a marriage ceremony so they would be married in a holy union in the sight of God. Outside of the church, though, people who are not interested in the Bible are not going to follow it, they will follow man's laws.
     
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