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As long as I'm here...

Discussion in '2003 Archive' started by Helen, Aug 12, 2003.

  1. Helen

    Helen <img src =/Helen2.gif>

    Aug 29, 2001
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    This is way different from the normal posts here, but I wanted the guys to read it, too.

    Many of you know that I have recently started to battle rheumatoid arthritis. My right ankle, right hand, and left hip are the worst so far, but I think everything but my neck and back are involved as well right now. It makes moving harder. I'm slower. Simple jobs take more time.

    But I'm learning something -- a new way of living -- and since we actually have some here on Baptist Board who are over thirty (gasp!), maybe this will be something you can remember when it is the right time to remember it.

    This is a big house -- six kids and half a neighborhood were raised here. Six bedrooms, three full baths, two outbuildings, four thousand square feet of lawn in the middle of a landscaped acre. It's a lot to care for. Not counting Chris -- retarded and bigger than I am now -- the fish and guinea pig my daughter left behind for me to care for when she went to college, three dogs, ten chickens, and a mess of voracious hummingbirds who empty three quart feeders every 48 hours or so.

    At first I was really depressed -- pain can do that pretty easily. You get tired and tiredness leads to depression, and the pain never really stops.

    My retarded son needs his diapers changed frequently, even though he's almost 19 years old now. So I was in the laundry room a couple of weeks ago, changing him, and, while I was bent over, noticed a toy he had left on the floor there.

    "As long as I am down here, I'll pick it up."

    So I did, and walked into the kitchen where I keep a basket for his toys.

    "As long as I am in here, I can get the dishes into hot, soapy water and do the counters."

    So I did.

    Doing the counters, there was mail on the end of one that hadn't made it to the den yet.

    "Might as well take it in."

    As long as I was in the den, I could make a couple of calls I had been putting off.

    Calls done, dishes soaked, I walked back to wash them and put them in the drainer. The hot water felt good on my hands.

    I wanted to sit down.

    "As long as I am going to sit down, it might as well be at the desk where I can clean stuff up."

    And so it went.

    And so it continues to go.

    "As long as I'm here..." continues to get enormous amounts of work done I would not have suspected I would have had the time or energy for.

    And I started thinking about my own life.

    "As long as I'm here..."

    ...in this neighborhood, there are smiles and jokes and too much fruit on the trees to share.

    ...in this grocery store, what about that checkout girl who was so sad the other day?

    ...in this church, who came here today that no one bothered to say hello to?

    You know something? Living slower and more thoughtfully isn't half bad! The pain isn't such hotshot stuff, but there are some good things going on in my life that might not have happened without it.
  2. massdak

    massdak Active Member
    Site Supporter

    Oct 27, 2002
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    God bless you helen
  3. computerjunkie

    computerjunkie New Member

    Jul 5, 2003
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    Beautiful post and thoughts, Helen. What an inspiration you are to me!!
  4. donnA

    donnA New Member

    Aug 10, 2000
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    Your inspiring Helen, thanks for sharing it with us.
  5. David Mark

    David Mark New Member

    Jul 11, 2003
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  6. Dr. Bob

    Dr. Bob Administrator

    Jun 30, 2000
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    I'm not that old, but I'm there. :eek: [​IMG] :eek:
  7. Elnora

    Elnora New Member

    Jan 4, 2001
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    I think God used my constant pain and as a
    result, yes many times depression to :

    I. Help me to have compassion for those less fortunate. There is always someone hurting worse than me. I never knew pain before such as this.

    2. Teach me to rely on him not me. I was so self-determined at one time. Keeps me humble.

    3. I tend to be a workaholic. I was always trying in myself to fix everything and I was self-reliant. Now I have to rely on his strength.

    I used to pray for healing all the time. I believe he can. But he knows what I need not what I want. I believe he hasn't healed me because it is easy for me to go back and do everything for myself. I would rather hurt than forget he is the one in who I can do all things. Where I am weak, he is stronger in me. I love him. He is so good to me...

    God bless you Helen. Thanks for the uplifting post. I love how you write so eloquently. A gift from God.
  8. I Am Blessed 24

    I Am Blessed 24 Active Member

    Jan 2, 2003
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    Helen; Your inspirational, insightful writing is a blessing to me.

    I am sorry for your pain, but I am glad you are able to "Praise God IN all things".

    You have probably needed to slow down for quite awhile!

    Thanks for sharing...

    Bless you,
  9. Gina B

    Gina B Active Member

    Dec 30, 2000
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    That's neat Helen. [​IMG] I can't imagine what it must be like changing diapers for 18 years in a row! Of all modern inventions, you'd *think* they'd come up with an easier way to change those things! :eek:
    We try out here to keep a nice calm pace and notice the little things. One of our little family things is that for a long time now whenever we go to the store I would say "don't forget to stop and smell the flowers!" and we'd all stop before we went in or in winter find a plant inside first thing. Now the kids don't let me get away with NOT doing it. [​IMG]
    Ya know, if you're ever just here in Ohio, I have some housework that needs done. ;)
    Have a great day, and thanks for that eye opening post!
  10. amixedupmom

    amixedupmom Guest

    Amen Helen, Postitive attitude is all it takes and i'm over 30 ;) and looking foreward to every minute of it. If you ever need someone to just unload on give me a hollar. I wish I lived closer. I'd do more. I'd come help!!

    God Bless you [​IMG]
  11. Paul of Eugene

    Paul of Eugene New Member

    Oct 30, 2001
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    A prayer for Helen:

    Heavenly father, you are the maker and sustainer of us all, and you made us to be your servants. We thank you for the service of others including the service of Helen, and we pray now for a special favor. We ask that she be delivered from the pain.