1. Welcome to Baptist Board, a friendly forum to discuss the Baptist Faith in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to all the features that our community has to offer.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

Best Possible Reason For Divorce

Discussion in 'Other Discussions' started by Wesley Briggman, May 23, 2020.

  1. Wesley Briggman

    Wesley Briggman Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2017
    Messages:
    967
    Likes Received:
    319
    Faith:
    Baptist
    Received this from a good friend. So, worth passing it on.
    Subject: DIVORCE AGREEMENT (MUST READ !!!!!!!)
    DIVORCE AGREEMENT Between Republicans & Democrats
    WRITTEN BY A YOUNG COLLEGE STUDENT
    The person who wrote this is a college (law) student. Perhaps there is hope for us after all.
    THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.
    Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
    We have stuck together since the late 1950's for thesake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
    Here is our separation agreement: --Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
    --We don't like re-distributive taxes so you can keep them.
    --You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU
    --Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.
    --We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar and bio-diesel
    --You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
    --We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.
    --You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.
    --We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEOs, and rednecks
    We’ll keep Hannity, Carlson, and Bibles, and give you NBC, CNN, ABC, CBS, and Hollywood
    --You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
    --You can have the peaceniks and war protesters.
    --When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
    -We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
    --You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the UN. but we will no longer pay the bill.
    --We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt, Tesla, and Leaf you can find.
    --You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
    --We'll
    keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."
    --I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine," "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing," "Kumbaya & We Are the World."
    --We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
    --Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
    Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
    Sincerely,
    John J Wall
    Law Student and American!
    P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, George Clooney, Barbara Streisand, and (Hanoi) Jane Fonda with you.
    P.SS. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.
    Forward This Every Time You Get It! Let's Keep This Going, Maybe Some of It Will Start Sinking In!
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
  2. Alan Gross

    Alan Gross Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2018
    Messages:
    1,105
    Likes Received:
    102
    Faith:
    Baptist
    Shared within seconds. Thank you.
     
  3. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2003
    Messages:
    27,118
    Likes Received:
    885
    Faith:
    Baptist
    Can we write the same letter to NY City?? In fact, they can keep the name "NY State" We will let them have up to 400 square miles - the other 54,000 square miles will go for the Upstate - to be known as Iroquois - as we will honor the Six Nations. You see we will not be PC!
     
  4. Earth Wind and Fire

    Earth Wind and Fire Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2010
    Messages:
    27,623
    Likes Received:
    822
    Faith:
    Baptist
    It is bad enough the Republicans may have destroyed themselves. One wonders whether they will take America with them.
     
  5. Wingman68

    Wingman68 Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2017
    Messages:
    1,665
    Likes Received:
    601
    Faith:
    Baptist
    This thread started with a heartening expose of outstanding wisdom delivered by a young individual. The fact that they’re young lends further optimism. I was smiling as I read the thread.......until I got to EWF’s post. SMH. Meh.
     
  6. Earth Wind and Fire

    Earth Wind and Fire Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2010
    Messages:
    27,623
    Likes Received:
    822
    Faith:
    Baptist
    Good!
     
  7. just-want-peace

    just-want-peace Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2002
    Messages:
    6,652
    Likes Received:
    498
    Faith:
    Baptist
    We used to have a family living behind us that had a yapping Jack Russell that was wide open ALL the time anyone beyond his yard was outside.
    My wife went to the house & complained, & the lady of the house was very nice & kept him inside except when they came home for lunch, & back in when they went back to work.

    EWF is a human version of that dog, so I have put him(?) on ignore & the peace is the same as that woman shutting the dog inside - - - You oughta try it!!!
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  8. Sai

    Sai Active Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2020
    Messages:
    211
    Likes Received:
    25
    Faith:
    Non Baptist Christian
    Non biblical divorce creating adulterous believers should they remarry


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  9. RighteousnessTemperance&

    RighteousnessTemperance& Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2017
    Messages:
    2,997
    Likes Received:
    578
    Faith:
    Baptist
    Besides being highly unlikely to ever happen, how is this (re OP) different from what various religious groups/denominations practice rather frequently?
     
Loading...