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Blondes have more fun.

Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor (Clean)' started by SaggyWoman, Jul 1, 2008.

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  1. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    LOGIC Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you
    think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'

    CAR TROUBLE
    [SIZE=+0]A blonde pushes her BMW into a [/SIZE]gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it
    is idling smoothly. She says, 'What's the story?'
    He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
    She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

    SPEEDING TICKET
    [SIZE=+0]A police officer stops a [/SIZE]blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'

    RIVER WALK
    [SIZE=+0]There's this blonde out for a [/SIZE]walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?' The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

    KNITTING
    [SIZE=+0]A highway patrolman pulled [/SIZE]alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!' 'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

    BLONDE ON THE SUN
    A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!' The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!' The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'
    The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. 'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
    To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'

    IN A VACUUM
    A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &
    Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your ame, can you hear it?'
    She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
     
    #1 SaggyWoman, Jul 1, 2008
  2. Deacon

    Deacon Well-Known Member
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    I thought blond jokes were banned in this forum...

    I think the reason was something about hair-color challenged people not understanding them (or not appreciating them).

    Rob
     
    #2 Deacon, Jul 1, 2008
  3. Amy.G

    Amy.G New Member

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    I don't get it.

    .
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    [​IMG]
     
    #3 Amy.G, Jul 1, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 1, 2008
  4. Gwen

    Gwen Active Member

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    I like the first one best! LOL!!
     
    #4 Gwen, Jul 1, 2008
  5. standingfirminChrist

    standingfirminChrist New Member

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    Wow [​IMG] heavy
     
    #5 standingfirminChrist, Jul 1, 2008
  6. NaasPreacher (C4K)

    NaasPreacher (C4K) Well-Known Member

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    Okay, since I am a moderator I fixed it just in case :)

     
    #6 NaasPreacher (C4K), Jul 2, 2008
  7. Jon-Marc

    Jon-Marc New Member

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    I've always loved blonde jokes.
     
    #7 Jon-Marc, Jul 2, 2008
  8. standingfirminChrist

    standingfirminChrist New Member

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    two short fat bald guys? ROFL [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
    #8 standingfirminChrist, Jul 2, 2008
  9. billreber

    billreber New Member

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    A while back, when I was in the US Air Force, the "rules" forbade ethnic jokes, such as Polish jokes. However, I worked for a man who told such Polish jokes on a regular basis, without ANYONE gettin angry or threatening him with disciplinary action. His name? Braunislas R. Blaszkowski! (NOBODY would ask what the "R" stood for!)

    Captain B's comment about the situation (I asked him once) was that you have to be able to laugh at yourself. Therefore, I like to tell Baptist jokes! As an example:

    LOGIC Two Baptists living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one Baptist says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other Baptist turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    (BTW, I also qualify for the "short fat bald guy" except for three things -- I'm not short, I'm not fat, and I'm not bald!)


    Bill :godisgood:
     
    #9 billreber, Jul 2, 2008
  10. standingfirminChrist

    standingfirminChrist New Member

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    One thing that got my brother to stop telling Polish jokes was two questions asked of him years ago. The questions?

    "Do you know how to speak Polish?"

    My brother said, "No"

    He was then asked, "How does it feel to be dumber than a Pole?"

    That nipped his ethnic jokes in the bud right then and there.
     
    #10 standingfirminChrist, Jul 2, 2008
  11. Carolina Baptist

    Carolina Baptist Active Member

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    "A short, bald, fat guy"

    Careful. I could be three forths offended by that. :D :laugh:
     
    #11 Carolina Baptist, Jul 2, 2008
  12. LeBuick

    LeBuick New Member

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    Now that was good... :thumbs:
     
    #12 LeBuick, Jul 2, 2008
  13. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    roflol!!!:laugh:
     
    #13 SaggyWoman, Jul 4, 2008
  14. Salamander

    Salamander New Member

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    I've been offended by all four! I'm short! I'm FAT and I'm old! Blonde and good looking!

    Do I ever have hair! It's just not on my head .:laugh:
     
    #14 Salamander, Jul 9, 2008
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