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Business Meeting Humor

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by Dr. Bob, Feb 4, 2004.

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  1. Dr. Bob

    Dr. Bob Administrator
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    YOU KNOW IT'S A BAD CHURCH BUSINESS MEETING WHEN...

    1. The church loudmouth rises to his feet and announces dramatically, "I can no longer remain silent..."

    2. Mike Wallace and the 60 Minutes crew are there to film it.

    3. Your picture ends up on a milk carton.

    4. People arrive at the meeting, clutching copies of books about "spiritual abuse."

    5. The church constitution suddenly becomes revered as the most important legal document since the Magna Carta.

    6. The little, blue-haired lady who's in charge of the nursery pounds the lectern with her shoe and screams, "We will bury you!"

    7. The next day your spouse books a one-way flight out of state and doesn't invite you to come along.

    8. Your neighbors hear about the meeting on their police scanner.

    9. A loyal supporter presses a can of Mace into your hands.

    10. Another loyal supporter presses Jack Kevorkian's business card into your hands.

    11. Judge Ito asks you to try on a pair of bloody gloves.

    12. People begin referring to you as "our former pastor."
     
    #1 Dr. Bob, Feb 4, 2004
  2. David Mark

    David Mark New Member

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    Oh no, Dr. Bob is this what's got you down?

    Do you want my phone number? I promise I will encourage you and not make you feel bad. You've got so many good qualities.

    Just being silly...

    Dave. :D :D [​IMG]
     
    #2 David Mark, Feb 4, 2004
  3. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    I cackled on four. :mad:
     
    #3 SaggyWoman, Feb 4, 2004
  4. Su Wei

    Su Wei Active Member
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    simply awful!!! :eek:

    (Er.... what's "Mace", though?)
     
    #4 Su Wei, Feb 5, 2004
  5. j_barner2000

    j_barner2000 Member

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    Mace is a brand of pepper spray... commonly used for self defense.
     
    #5 j_barner2000, Feb 5, 2004
  6. Dr. Bob

    Dr. Bob Administrator
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    Mace is named after a big club used in Celtic warfare and carried (symbolically we trust) by the Queen E II in royal ceremony. [​IMG]
     
    #6 Dr. Bob, Feb 5, 2004
  7. Ann

    Ann New Member

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    Sadly enough, this almost exactly describes our last church meeting a week ago. :(
     
    #7 Ann, Feb 5, 2004
  8. GODzThunder

    GODzThunder New Member

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    Sadly enough, I have had #12 happen to me. One of our deacons, the chairman of the board, referred to me as the "former pastor" when he approached members of the Church with a petition for my resignation. (Luckily I only got three votes against me, his, his wife, and a member who later told me she heard things were bad and she did not want to see me suffer by having to remain to endure this).

    Just a note, when nobody in the Church wanted to sign that note, he resigned all positions held. Supprisingly no one else left with him. ::praise::

    though I do miss him still.
     
    #8 GODzThunder, Feb 6, 2004
  9. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    I have a mace--well, I have four maces, that I got while I was in Ukraine. I am glad to hear they are for the queens. I heard that they are also called Husband Beaters. Hmmmm. The Ukrainian word is Boolava. They are said to be symbols of power. :D
     
    #9 SaggyWoman, Feb 6, 2004
  10. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    1. When Deacon Joe brings ten members who have not attended for the past year.

    2. When Deacon Joe drops off some information about U-haul on the Pastors desk

    3. When Deacon Joe asks the church clerk to put pastorsearch.net on the church computer favorite list.

    4. When Deacon Joe has recommended the Assistiant pastor to a church out of state

    5.
     
    #10 Salty, Jan 29, 2005
  11. Singing Cop

    Singing Cop <img src=/5667.jpg>

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    MACE is also a brand of chemical self defense sprays.
     
    #11 Singing Cop, Jan 29, 2005
  12. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    I hate church business meetings.
     
    #12 SaggyWoman, Jan 29, 2005
  13. MaryKay

    MaryKay New Member

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    I also dislike church business meetings.
     
    #13 MaryKay, Jan 30, 2005
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