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christian dating (alone) right/wrong?

Discussion in 'Youth Forum' started by URGALPAL, Apr 17, 2003.

  1. Agreed Jeremy Page. Read the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". [​IMG]
     
  2. TheTravelingMinstrel

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    I think if you are dating w/o the honorable intention of marriage, then you are guilty of two sins.
    1. Being a bad steward of your time. This time is time God gave you... use it wisely.
    2.Playing with the romantic relationship between a man and a woman which God created and ment it to be sacred.
     
  3. Sularis

    Sularis Member

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    Burn the book I kissed dating goodbye

    Too many ignorant people hold this up as a book
    while all too often ignoring the settings within
    the book

    So simply put Joshua harris - for writing a book that has inspired stupidity on both sides of the gender barrier

    I give you 2 solid thumbs down
     
  4. dpenguin

    dpenguin <img src=/dawn.gif>

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    However, a GOOD book of a similar sort is "When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric & Leslie Ludy.
     
  5. Audrey

    Audrey <img src="http://www.churches.net/churches/fubc/Au

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    I just sort of flipped through this thread, so if I mistake what someone meant, please forgive me.

    It's been said that one needs to learn self-control if you can't resist the temptation to become intimite with the person you are dating, and I sort of agree with that.

    But if you're a mature Christian, wouldn't you want to keep your reputation intact, and avoid the appearance of evil?

    I don't really see a problem with being "alone" with your date in a public place, such as a restaurant, but I do see a problem with a couple being alone at one of their houses, or something.
     
  6. TheTravelingMinstrel

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    being alone in a public place huh?
    kinda hard to do.
     
  7. stubbornkelly

    stubbornkelly New Member

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    *sigh* I don't think I realized we were talking about different things. I was using "dating alone" to mean single dating, not with a chaperone or another couple, and others were clearly thinking about being completely alone, as in alone in an apartment or something.

    Can we agree on terms, please?

    But to add to the fray, my boyfriend lives 2 and a half hours away from me. I go visit about every other weekend. There are three people in the house - me, him and his daughter. Occasionally, she goes and stays with a friend so we can have some "grown-up time." We may go out to dinner, or we may cook together and sit out on the patio, maybe go to a play or a movie. I'm curious as to some of you would say he and I should spend time together, since we live too far apart to practically meet for lunch or dinner, then for one of us to drive back home. I see no real virtue in driving for five hours to spend 3. Suggestions? Comments?
     
  8. Audrey

    Audrey <img src="http://www.churches.net/churches/fubc/Au

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    Ditto
     
  9. TheTravelingMinstrel

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    :-| i know

    I was *trying* to be smart [​IMG]
     
  10. Audrey

    Audrey <img src="http://www.churches.net/churches/fubc/Au

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  11. Audrey

    Audrey <img src="http://www.churches.net/churches/fubc/Au

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    If you only knew how tempting that was... [​IMG]
     
  12. TheTravelingMinstrel

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    Yeah yeah, i know what you were going to say, but edited it :p.
     
  13. Audrey

    Audrey <img src="http://www.churches.net/churches/fubc/Au

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    Actually, I was trying to say "You have no idea how tempting that was" after quoting yours.. but with the quote that was already in yours, it proved too complicated for my small brian to comprehend.. go figure :D
     
  14. Joseph_Botwinick

    Joseph_Botwinick <img src=/532.jpg>Banned

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    Is it right or wrong? I would say it is dangerous. I would also say that your friends at Church are not trying to condemn you but protect you from a potentially dangerous situation. They are trying to help you make a good decision.

    Joseph Botwinick
     
  15. Cop'n NC

    Cop'n NC New Member

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    Going to open up a can of worms here. Dating whats the purpose of it?? Courting ??? Just curious what if you are "courting" some one and they are not the right one? well wouldn't that be considering dating? I believe it's both the samething it's a matter of the person convictions to call it one thing from another. Sence some people think dating sounds um,... let me say sinfull to them they just say courting, that sort of justifys it for them if they say courting instead of dating. It's all about the samething. You say courting I say dating. Now what u do on the date, oops sorry didn't mean to offend any one, what you do while you court is up to you and you will have to live with the choices. In the end you have the choice weither to do something sinfull in Gods eyes, and that doesn't matter if you call it courting or dating.
    Peave Love and Drumfills
    By the way I can't spell
     
  16. stubbornkelly

    stubbornkelly New Member

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    I agree that much of it is semantics, and stems from one group's definition of the word "dating." Whoever defines the words wins, right? ;)
     
  17. Cop'n NC

    Cop'n NC New Member

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    WOW some one agrees with me, dag I sure thought I would get a group of posts bashing me, lol.
    Peace Love and Drumfills
     
  18. christine

    christine New Member

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    I don't think a 14, 15, or 16 yr.old needs to be alone with the opposite sex, but we are discussing someone older. No matter how you live, you will never avoid temptation. You can't get-to-know someone in a group of people. In that group of people is where you decide if you want to date/court someone.
    People will always talk, as long as you know in your heart that you are doing the right thing, don't worry about it.
    What people don't know, they make up!!!!
    Things don't "just happen", if you feel tempted, stop what you are doing and LEAVE.
    Christine
     
  19. Cop'n NC

    Cop'n NC New Member

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    Going to stir up some more trouble

    So you are saying trust your heart instead of God? Just wondering :confused:
     
  20. stubbornkelly

    stubbornkelly New Member

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    A lot of this thread has been about "what will people think." I guess it's about 50/50, "what if . . . ?" and "what will people think?" really.

    In the "what will people think" vein, there's only so much you can and should do to prevent people from gossiping. We've all heard that you can't please everyone, which is true. We like to tout I Thessalonians 5:22, but what is "the appearance of evil?" I do not think it is a man and a woman sitting together in a restaurant without another couple or a chaperone, nor do I think it's a woman inviting a man over to her home for a meal or a movie. If the only thing another person can think of when they hear of a man and a woman spending any time alone together is sex, then they're the one with the problem, not the couple.

    For the same couple to go away on a vacation together? That might be a little more along the lines of "the appearance of evil," and is perhaps less acceptable.

    I think the point of the first quote I pulled is not that what God says doesn't matter and that you should just trust your feelings, as it were, but that gossipers will gossip about anyone over anything, and if you've done your part to ensure that your actions do not give people reason (that's an important word!) to believe you're behaving in an unGodly manner, the rest is on their shoulders.
     
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