Church Family

I am perplexed by my church and my church family. It's been my family's church since my grandparents started going there. A lot has changed with the church and I'm not really clear on how to sort everything out.

I lost my mother about a year and a half ago and since then, things within my family have kind of fallen apart and my mother-in-law became sick. There's a whole other story there but basically it came down to me and my husband taking care of her because she needed 24 hour care that my father-in-law couldn't provide and her health rapidly declined. I wasn't attending church because I was taking care of her and she just recently passed away about a week ago. I made it to church a few mornings and people would ask how things were in life and when I'd try to explain or talk about it, they would seem uninterested and walk away or change the subject. I almost felt like they were asking out of habit but didn't really care. The members have seemed very clicky and the congregation is small to begin with. During all the time of not being at church not once did anyone, not even my pastor, check in to see if things were ok since I hadn't been around. I do get group emails from the pastor and other members about gun laws and other things not pertaining to church and they post a lot on facebook, which I don't use. I thought it was just common courtesy to check on people, even just a hi but I haven't gotten anything.

I was raised to believe that your church family is like a second family and that we should take care of each other. I feel like I don't belong there anymore and it's hard to leave, if that's what it comes down to, because of my family connection. I'm really torn on what to do and it makes me sad. I know God and trust Him and worship by myself all the time. I find myself talking to Him throughout the day like He's standing next to me, I just feel like I don't have a church home.

 

Thanks for the advise. I think a part of the issue is that the majority of the church members are all related. We have a parting handshake at the end of service and basically everyone circles around and shakes everyone's hand. I try to be the one that extends my hand first but some just look at my hand and give a quick shake and walk away. I feel like I've done something wrong and everyone knows what it is but me. Maybe it's just me over analyzing things, I don't know. Maybe it's because that's how my real family has been treating me lately and I'm just noticing it more now. Since my mom died, my family has fallen apart. My dad has recently started seeing someone new and I will call/text him and he doesn't answer, understandable but then I find out that dad, his new girlfriend and her family have been hanging out together with my brother and his family and I feel really left out. I've mentioned going out and trying to get to know her but he doesn't want anything to do with it. Maybe its just easier for dad to interact with my brother and not me. I don't know, I just want to be a peace and not constantly stressed and anxious and trying to make things work when no one else seems to want them to.