CONTROL Freak Pastors

I would venture to say that if we were to survey every church represented here, we would find that almost every pastor is perceived as both a loving pastor who guides his church and a Pastor who is a dictator and a micro-manager. Over the years, I have had people who say that I do a great job getting people involved, while others have said that I am micromanaging their life. I do believe that there are some who are awful at the administration of the church. However, many times the problem is not with the pastor, but really with the disgruntled person. In every case that I have seen, the individual who is making the claim was wanting to do something that was contrary to the Pastor's vision and they were told no. They then say that the Pastor doesn't give them any liberty to serve God.

I do not discount that there are some who we could label as micro-managers. We must first look at why we are labeling the Pastor this way.

 

Every effective leader I know is a bit of a "control freak". How that manifests itself varies from person to person.

 

But there is a difference between a "bit" and a "BUNCH", agreed?

In Christ,
Trotter

 

Sometimes, only in the eye of the beholder, friend!

But, as Paul exhorted young Timothy, "Be instant in season, out of season... make full proof of thy ministry."

Men and brethren, that is really all God asks. May we strive to live it effectively.

 

If I had 10.00 for every time it was implied or said that I was a dictator, I would be a rich man. At the same time, those who know me best laugh at the accusation that I am an unapproachable dicatator.

It is definitely a matter of perspective.

Focus on reaching, not on keeping.

 

Yes, but original poster's examples shouldn't be discounted as just a matter of perspective. That pastor jumped all over her for sending out "We Miss You" cards to the children without his approval. I would seriously question any pastor who tried to exercise that much control over "his" congregation. Unless he alone wants to do every single job within the church, he should have at least a minimal amount of trust in those who are committed to doing God's work. He should be encouraging people to listen to the Holy Spirit's guidance regarding their ministry. Instead, he's going to end up with a congregation who feels they have to second guess every minor move they make. They will end up doing the mimimum amount required to please the pastor...anything above and beyond might get them a backlashing. Before I get jumped on, I'm not saying every Joe Schmoe should be able to do whatever he wants to do in church. But, come on, getting upset because a teacher sent out "We Miss You" notes???? Good grief! I would think most pastor's would jump for joy if every Sunday School teacher took the initiative to let others know they were missed.

 

In many IFB churches it is the sunday School teachers job not only to send a little note but to visit also.

 

Diane,

I can relate, I once had a leader (she wasn't a "Pastor", but she had the ego of one! ) who was that way, she was over our "worship" dept. real control freak. everything had to sound perfect. if someone made a mistake, they got dirty looks. It was really trying for me. and a WHOLE bunch of other folk too. I ended up being "let go" from that dept. Because I "Didn't have the attitude of a servant any longer". this was the beginning of the downward spiral for me. I ended up backsliding for 5 years because of it. In the end, She (the "Worship Leader") ended up getting caught up in the Sin of adultery and ended up losing ALL of her positions in the Church, including "Worship Leader", Losing her family, and husband.

So, trust me. I can totally relate... Now if this was supposed to be posted elsewhere, I apologize, but she was a Church Leader.

BornBaptist

 

I once had a pastor that fit your description of a control freak to a "T".
The people there either loved him or hated him. It depended upon their level of submission to authority.
Yes, he controlled things too much, but he truly loved his people and was a great pastor. (An excellent preacher and soulwinner)
He dictated what was to be served and who made what at all Fellowship dinners. At weddings, he decided what songs were to be sung and every aspect of the wedding and the reception.
Many people were offended over these things and left the church, but those of us who stayed were blessed by a very godly, caring minister.

 

Speaking as one of the newer members here, let me make a couple of observations:

True control freaks, micro managers are in every field. Not only in the Church, but also in the secular world.

Generally those who are micro managers are decent managers, who have the ability to manage things and systems, but generally do not have the ability to lead people.

Leaders have the abilility to share their vision, and also have the ability to let go of some things.

I agree with several of you, that we do need to trust people who are part of the ministry team. Yet at the same time, some accountability has to be exercised.

I personally would not, pick the songs at a wedding (I would make sure the couple knew, that I do have veto power over their selection... Why?... I would not want a song played, sung, performed that would bring discredit to the church).

In the military, we had a saying:

"trust but verify"

As a leader, I can delegate authority, responsbility... but I am always accountable.

True leaders can do just that.

Managers have to micro manage.

God Bless


Fred

 

Well Said Fred!

 

Right Said Fred

 

If my Church expects me to micro-manage everything they've been sadly misled.

One Sunday during a bad snow storm I just printed an order of service on a single sheet of 8 1/2 X 11 paper instead of doing the usual trifold bulletin.

When asked about the bulletin that morning - I simply replied - "This is the Snow Route Edition!"

The Church I am a part of and pastor now is moving from a control environment to an accountability environment.

There's too much of this - "We don't allow this! "and "No, you can't do that!" - in most churches.

There needs to be more of - "How'd you do that? "and "What did you learn by doing it that way?" amd "What do you think we ought to do?" and "Go do it and tell me how it works out!"

I'd rather be a "Sanitation Engineer" and ride a garbage truck every day than be a Micro-Managing Pastor!

 

I've sat under many control freak pastors in Augusta, GA and in Murfreesboro, TN, as well as in the Peoria, Il area. We left a church here in the Murfreesboro area that was IFB/Hyles-type Baptist. The pastor was a control freak and drove the church from a membership of over 200 to less than 40 in just a matter of months. When we left, we became SBC church members. Our church has grown so fast that our pastor is now acting like our IFB pastor did. So, it's in many different sects of the Baptists.
I was an "assistant pastor" under a very "control freak" pastor in the BMA. Woah! Glad I got away from that one.

AVL1984

 

I worked with this pastor in Headland, Al. He was a Super Control Freak. One Sunday night we had a hymn sing (straight hymns) which was unusual for us. We normally had blended services, leaning towards the choruses.

That Sunday night he wanted to repeat the chorus of each the hymns 6-7 times to show them what repitition was. I thought it was childish did not do so. I got the evil eye.

7 months in to it, the church had split and the majority of the people left with him. It took about 3 months for the people to see the real him and went back to the 1st church. The people welcomed them back with open arms.

It's been 8 years or so and he still has a small congregation of 2-3 families, controlling their lives and income.

 

Gib---you fell for a dictator??? Come on over to my church here---where you will undergo a battery of pschological tests steeped with emotional unrest brought upon by constant harrassment from the #1 Controler----Blackbird!! He'll have you repeating things like

Blackbird is a

Blackbird is a

over and over and over again----the people here love it!!!!

 

There is a book that addresses this issue:

The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse
Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church.

David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen.
Bethany House Publishers, Minneapolis, MN, 1991, 234 pages.

I think it should be mandatory reading for all church members.

There is a summary here:
http://safechurch.com/subtle.htm