Divorsed Deacon (Part 2)

The correct terms used in that passage is a one woman man.

So if you were to say husband of one wife literally that would mean he could not remarry if his wife died. It would also mean that he must be married.

Now could his wife have been previously divorced if you believe what you are proposing?

Also in the time if the NT, Jewish custom required that a couple be divorced if they did not intend to follow through with the betrothal and get married. So if you apply that to today according to what you believe then a person could have never been engaged and broken the engagement either.

 

n/a, I'd find a new preacher.

Diane

 

Me too, that is a very judgemental answer to a question.

 

I have a friend who is a pastor whose wife started scouting the internet and found a man to visit. Eventually she got worse. He is now divorced. He would take her back if she agreed to some tests to prove she was not infected. She refused.

The great thing is that the church told him when that happened that they once needed him and that now he needs them. They gave him as much time off as he needed and paid him during that time. Would you join a church that cared as much for people as that? He is a changed man. When I saw him last he was radically changed. He was a new man. He learned more about God's grace.

 

Yes, I DO belong to a church that cares greatly for people.

No, I would not belong to a church with a divorced Pastor.

There are two sides to every story and something was not 'right' at home or the wife wouldn't have been looking elsewhere...

It wouldn't be the first time that a Pastor spent too much time tending to his flock and ignored his family.

If a man can't be the leader in his own home; how can he lead a whole flock?

 

I found this most interesting.

Husband of One Wife

—confuting the celibacy of Rome’s priesthood. Though the Jews practiced polygamy, yet as he is writing as to a Gentile Church, and as polygamy was never allowed among even laymen in the Church, the ancient interpretation that the prohibition here is against polygamy in a candidate bishop is not correct. It must, therefore, mean that, though laymen .might lawfully marry again, candidates for the episcopate or presbytery were better to have been married only once. As in 1Ti 5:9, “wife of one man,” implies a woman married but once; so “husband of one wife” here must mean the same. The feeling which prevailed among the Gentiles, as well as the Jews (compare as to Anna, Lu 2:36, 37), against a second marriage would, on the ground of expediency and conciliation in matters indifferent and not involving compromise of principle, account for Paul’s prohibition here in the case of one in so prominent a sphere as a bishop or a deacon. Hence the stress that is laid in the context on the repute in which the candidate for orders is held among those over whom he is to preside (Tit 1:16). The Council of Laodicea and the apostolic canons discountenanced second marriages, especially in the case of candidates for ordination. Of course second marriage being lawful, the undesirableness of it holds good only under special circumstances. It is implied here also, that he who has a wife and virtuous family, is to be preferred to a bachelor; for he who is himself bound to discharge the domestic duties mentioned here, is likely to be more attractive to those who have similar ties, for he teaches them not only by precept, but also by example (1Ti 3:4, 5). The Jews teach, a priest should be neither unmarried nor childless, lest he be unmerciful [Bengel]. So in the synagogue, “no one shall offer up prayer in public, unless he be married” [in Colbo, ch. 65; Vitringa, Synagogue and Temple].
Jamieson, Robert; Fausset, A.R.; and Brown, David, Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible, (Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.) 1998.

 

Yes there are two sides to every story. Ever seen Satan get ahold of someone so tight that nothing else matters to them? I have. Nothing that person does makes any sense. The casual observer can see how they are destroying their life. But the person cannot. God does not place the actions of a wife as the husband's responsibility. She is responsible for her actions and he is responsible for his. Why do you think the scripture in Eph. 5:21-33 addresses the role and responsibility of both and not just one. I cannot control wha my wife does. I can encourage her to do right and she can encourage me. But I cannot control her.

That's kind of like saying that when a man views pornography it is his wife's fault. Any man knows that it is not his wife's problem but his. The numbers are staggering when men are surveyed who have problems with pronography. I am talking about men who attend church on a regular basis. My brother in law teaches classes in his church for those who have serious problems with that. Isn't scripture mostly addressed to believers? Then who is it for. When I stand before God my wife will not be there in my place.

 

"For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body."
Eph 5:23

"For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?"
1Ti 3:5

 

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Very, very judgemental statement. Do you actually think that bad things don't happen to good people that don't deserve it? Because I know a lot of people who do not deserve what they have been delt. What kind of statement is "and something was not 'right' at home or the wife wouldn't have been looking elsewhere"?????? I am shocked at such a statement. Pastor's and deacon's wives are not immune from the same sins that run rampent in our society, AND IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THEIR MARRIAGE. A lot of woman (and I know some like this) get bored with men who are too good or too nice, and go elsewhere just for the excitement. So, what you are saying is that this would be the problem of the man in his home, he was too nice??? Every story does not have two sides!!! Sometimes it is what it is. Judas betrayed Jesus, was it Jesus' fault? Peter denied Jesus, was it Jesus' fault? My father beat and abused my mother, who was very biblically faithful, nearly to death. And I can tell you point blank, it was not anything she did. Rethink the statement you made, PLEASE!

In Christ,
Deborah

 

Deborah: I was not being judgmental. I was talking about a man being eligible to remain a Pastor after a divorce and merely quoting the scripture that backs up my statement.

"For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?"
1Ti 3:5

I have been through a divorce and, as I stated (on another thread I believe), DIVORCE is NOT the unpardonable sin!

However, I DO believe the Bible teaches it is wrong. That doesn't mean that this particular Pastor caused his wife to stray - I was just raising some questions.

It DOES mean, however, that he was not ruling his own house and therefore no longer fits the requirements of a Pastor (set forth by the Bible, not by me).

Yes, bad things DO happen to good people, and those good people usually step down from an office they no longer qualify for.

Yes, there ARE always two sides to every story. No two people see a story/problem in the exact same way. Ask any Pastor or counselor...

§ue

 

Okay, I will use the pastor of my church as a hypothetical example. He truely is a man of God. Everyone who hears his sermons knows that God is in our presence. Everything in his life reflects God's glory. He is very faithful and kind and attentive to his wife, and you can tell she loves him very much. He has never been divorced. These are the truths.

Now for the hypothetical. Okay, let's say that his wife falls into the "I'm bored and need a "bad guy" to spruce up my life. So let's say she leaves him and divorces him for another man. If he does not remarry, as he is still married to her in the eyes of God even though she divorced him, why should he step down? I believe the wrong would come in if he remarried.

Thoughts?

In Christ,
Deborah

 

Deborah, if he could not lead his own home, how could he lead and pastor a church?

He could still preach but not be a pastor or deacon.

We joined a church once and after a few months the pastor's own mother told me he'd been divorced. His first wife had told him while he was at seminary that she was a lesbian and in love with a woman. He did his best to save the marriage and fought the divorce but it was granted. Two weeks later, she killed herself. He remarried years later. We were members there only a short time. We left over racist issues but if I had known about his divorce or racism I would not have joined that church. I think it should have been disclosed to anyone who was considering membership.

The 'pastor' above is no longer in the ministry.

 

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Do you actually think that bad things don't happen to good people that don't deserve it?

In Christ,
Deborah </font>[/QUOTE]Just remember Jeseph and what his brothers did to him. Genesis 37:23, 24, "So it came about, when Joseph reached his brothers, that they stripped Joseph of his tunic, the varicolored tunic that was on him; and they took him and threw him into the pit."

So you think the man is always to blame? Just read Genesis 39:7, "It came about after these events that his master's wife looked with desire at Joseph, and she said, "Lie with me." But he refused and said to his master's wife, "Behold, with me here, my master does not concern himself with anything in the house, and he has put all that he owns in my charge."

 

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My question is the hypothetical example above. I do know several girl friends that get bored with a man because he is too good. So let's say the preacher or deacon is truely a godly leader of his home. Let's say his wife left him for her own selfish desires, for more excitement. It would have nothing to do with his ability to lead the home. In her mind he was not exciting enough. What is he to do, take her to bars and get drunk or do drugs to spruce up his marriage just to keep the marriage together and keep her from getting bored, or slap her a couple of times to maintain that "bad boy" image? God forbid! What then, do whatever just to keep his marriage together just so a church doesn't fire him? Absolutely not! What if that same woman leaves him because he is too boring, or she just simply changed her mind and doesn't want him anymore and divorces him? You cannot always blame the man! He is not accountable for her actions. If that were the case a husband would go to hell if the wife was not saved. If the woman divorces her husband for her own selfish reasons and the husband does not remarry, what scripture says that he must step down and he cannot be a pastor or be a deacon?

In Christ,
Deborah

 

I wonder if anyone can show us all, by the LORD's example, how many wives He has?

Hmmm?

Who He "divorced", and whom it is, or was, He re-married?


I have only found Israel to be His wife, any others?

 

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Very undesirable sarcasm on your part, POR! Our Lord does not and never did have our sinful nature.

For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23

I would never ever compare us to Him! There is no comparison. We are to strive to become more like him, yes, but we will never be as perfect as He was and is as long as we live in these corrupt times.

And by the way, the Church is his bride.

In Christ,
Deborah

 

I did not say that. I am saying it doesn't matter WHO is to blame. A divorced man, according to the Bible, cannot be a Pastor...