1. Welcome to Baptist Board, a friendly forum to discuss the Baptist Faith in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to all the features that our community has to offer.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

Do you spank your child?

Discussion in 'Polls Forum' started by blessedmamma, Jun 3, 2005.

?
  1. yes, I spank my child when needed

    100.0%
  2. no, I do not spank my child

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. Lamb

    Lamb New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2005
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    0
    I spank when necessary. They know why they are getting spanked. I tell you, they don't repeat the same thing too often knowing what the consequences are. I work in a preschool and I can tell the difference between children that are spanked and not spanked.
     
  2. Thankful

    Thankful <img src=/BettyE.gif>

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Messages:
    8,430
    Likes Received:
    0
    My experience is that the ones who have been spanked are more incline to hit other children.The ones that are yelled at will yell at others.

    I would not allow my child to go to a preschool that spanks the children. I have 8 grandchildren and I have never spanked any of them. I usually just tell them the rules of my house, explain why and they are well behaved most of the time. We do encouragements, rewards, praise, or time outs, take privileges away, etc. I have had to teach each one of them what I mean when I say "NO". It does not mean may be or I'll think about. I try not to give in to their whining. If I do, then they are in control.

    I have two grandchildren staying with me for awhile this summer and we are in the process of learning grandmother's rules. I have to use different ideas for the nearly 14 year old than I do the 8 year old, but we are getting there and having fun doing it.

    I find that most children like the rules if they understand them. Most children like the please.
     
  3. patrick

    patrick New Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2005
    Messages:
    376
    Likes Received:
    0
    Liberal experts started this no spanking junk. A child will not be well adjusted. My dad spanked me and I thank him for that. I spank my child when needed.

    My child doesn't hit other kids. We teach as well as correct. We don't punish to be mean but to correct.

    His grandparents spank him (though it is rare). I have other people who are close to us who also corrects my child when he is in there present.

    My wife is a teacher and she sees parents who get upset when their child is punished. Most of them know that their parents will defend instead of correct. so, they don't worry about what will happen to them. We need to correct our children and quit worrying about being politically correct!!!
     
  4. TexasSky

    TexasSky Guest

    If you set consistent boundaries, and you clearly state the consequences for violations, and you consistently enforce those rules, you ~PROBABLY~ won't need to spank. I have met some children who I think are so strong willed, that I concede sometimes it may be necessary, but not usually.

    I was spanked. It fostered anger, resentment, and a sense that Mother couldn't be trusted. You see, the three times in my life I was spanked were three times my Mother was wrong. She accused me of things I didn't do. I denied them since I didn't do them. She spanked me for "lieing about them," and then later, when learning from other adults I was being truthful, came back and said, "I'm sorry." I'm sorry wasn't enough though. I loved her dearly, but I harbored resentment for a long, long time. After all, when SHE made mistakes, no one was slapping her around.

    We did not spank our children. One is an honor's student in junior high school who never backtalks me, and has never been in any kind of trouble at all in his entire life. The other is also a missionary who was an honor's student who was never in any kind of trouble in her whole life.

    If you DO spank, make sure you follow the rules of being a proper disciplining adult instead of an out-of-control-person-venting-anger.

    1) Make sure your child knew the rule and consequence BEFORE the punishment. If they are too young to understand that, they won't understand that the spanking is to prevent the behavior and will only understand that someone they trusted to protect them hurt them.
    2) NEVER spank while you still feel anger over the offense. If you have to say, "You will be spanked for this, but it will be in three hours," do so, but never, ever, ever lift a hand to child in anger.
    3) Make sure that the punishment fits the crime. Ask yourself if you've done the same thing a thousand times?

    One of my pet peeves is to see a parent spank a child for spilling a drink. Children have less coordination to begin with, and no one yanks up an adult and busts their rear end for accidents.

    Another pet peeve is the parent who drags a weary child all over creation, dangled by an arm, way past nap time, and then spanking the child for acting out in public. I want to spank the parent for being an idiot and an irresponsible parent. Of course the child is acting out and cranky. Tired adults aren't any picnic to be around either.
     
  5. TaterTot

    TaterTot Guest

    same here

    We dont spank our kids in public, and certainly not for accidents. DH was spanked for accidents as a kid and resents it to this day. I was only spanked when I had done something willfully wrong, and I dont resent that. I am glad they gave me those limits.
     
  6. Lamb

    Lamb New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2005
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    0
    I just wanted to say that we do not spank in our preschool. [​IMG]



    I grew up with spanking in my house. Only when deemed necessary. I thank my parents for doing so because I don't know what kind of a person a would of turned out to be. If I had the perfect children who absolutely did not deserve discipline...then they wouldn't be spanked. But the truth is, I have children who over-step the boundries on certain rules in our house and challenge my authority. Even though they been told verbally. When they're spanked...they know why and it's not done out of anger.
     
  7. bobbyd

    bobbyd New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2004
    Messages:
    1,468
    Likes Received:
    1
    We believe in whipping them until the smoke alarm goes off! ROFL! Just kidding!
    We spank our kids only when necessary, but we try use this as the last resort as often as possible.

    bobbyd
     
  8. menageriekeeper

    menageriekeeper Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2004
    Messages:
    7,152
    Likes Received:
    0
    My parents never knew there was anything else BUT spanking. They whipped us for anything and everything. Did we misbehave? Not often. Did/do we harbor resentment? Absolutely! A good many times the whippings were undeserved, but my parents frustrated about other things and took it out on us. It is just one of a set of reasons why my parents have little relationship with either of us.

    My children rarely get spanked, but they know we will if they can't control themselves.

    No one else is allowed to spank my kids with the sole exception of T's Mom if she has them and we're not around and it is absolutely necessary. It happened once. When I was having Bitsy, Son wanted to stay at the hospital and pitched a full fledged temper tantrum with Mom. She let him cry for a while and then gave him the warning that if he didn't stop she was going to stop the car and get a switch. He kept up until she stopped the car. THEN he hushed and his eyes got big. Too late! Needless to say, she never had another problem. (I don't think she actually spanked him, just cut the switch. My kids hate a switch.)

    My rule of thumb for spanking: If what they are doing will result in more harm or injury to them than the pain of a spanking, I spank. Also, outright defience will get them one in a hurry. Son suffers from "I'm always right" syndrome along with a wide streak of stubborness. There are times when only a spanking will do.

    Other instances, the discipline fits the crime. Spill something, get handed a rag. Arguing over a toy? It becomes my toy. Make a bad grade and whatever you spend the majority of your time doing gets taken away(for Son it the video games, for Precious it's the phone and the computer)
     
  9. Bro. James Reed

    Bro. James Reed New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2002
    Messages:
    2,992
    Likes Received:
    1
    I didn't get near as many spankings as I deserved, but I did get a fair share.

    My brother got spanked quite a bit, but then, he was just a bad kid. :D

    My mother used to babysit when I was little. She would tell the parents that she would treat their kids just as her own. If they needed a hug, they would get a hug. If they need a whipping, they would get a whipping.

    Mom and Dad would not allow a kid to spend the night in their home if they were not allowed to whip them if they needed it. Still to this day, they are the favorite aunt and uncle of all of my cousins (all of who are older than me and grown with their own kids).

    All of the cousins used to spend the summers with my parents, before they had my brother and me. Now, they send their kids down here for parts of the summer. All of them have been spanked by mom and dad at one time or another.

    My grandparents generation, and those before, didn't see anything wrong with spanking, and they were a whole lot better as kids and adults than the past couple of generations have been. Why is that?

    I've been whipped, spanked, switched, swatted, etc. by so many members of my family I can't even name them all. I harbor no resentment toward any of them for it.

    It's rather petty to resent someone for something done so long ago, even if I did believe they were wrong in spanking me.
     
  10. atestring

    atestring New Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2001
    Messages:
    1,675
    Likes Received:
    0
    I spanked my son when I needed to do so;
    I used the following guidelines:
    1. I spanked him in a public place but never in public. ( i would take him to a private area)
    2. I never used a belt. A belt is for keeping my pants up.
    3. I never used my hands but used a switch. ( hands are to be used to show acceptance and reaching out in love to a child.
    4. I always made sure he knew the reason and my objective of the spanking.
    5. I never spanked a child and then told him not to cry. How ridiculous to do this. this also teaches a child to repress emotions.
    6. When I found out that I had spanked for a wrong reason i ask him to forgive me.
    7.I never took the " take him to the woodshed" idea.
    8. i always ended the discipline with a hug.
     
  11. blackbird

    blackbird Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2002
    Messages:
    11,898
    Likes Received:
    4
    Same here, Tater!! When an offense has occured---while I'm headed for the "leather"----they're pleadin' every "amendment" in the US Constitution!!!! :eek: :eek:

    Did I get spanked when I was young??? Yes indeedy!! Oftentimes my brother and I would get in trouble at church----and daddy would say, "Boys!! You both gonna get whippin's when we get home!!!"-------never at church----never in front of anybody-----but we noticed that Daddy never came down with any cases of Amensia or Alzimer's between church and home!!!! [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  12. Mapipe

    Mapipe Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2004
    Messages:
    94
    Likes Received:
    0
    I figured they worked hard for a spanking and I certainly wasn't going to be the one to deprive them of it! Our kids knew exactly what would reward them with a spanking and if they figured the crime was worth "the reward", we certainly did not disappoint them.
     
  13. I Am Blessed 24

    I Am Blessed 24 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2003
    Messages:
    44,448
    Likes Received:
    1
    My children are all grown. Some of them responded to other types of discipline and some of them were spanked.

    I am raising my grandson and have not had to spank him. I can talk to him and that settles it. Should the day come, when talking doesn't work, I will not hesitate to spank him (in an appropriate manner).

    I spanked as a last resort and NEVER in anger.

    God provided a perfect spot, on the body, for a spanking. I do not believe in hitting a child anyplace else.

    There is a BIG difference between a spanking and a beating.

    I always explained the offense to make sure the child understood why he was being spanked.

    After the spanking, we prayed together and hugged each other (and usually we were both crying).

    A spanking really SHOULD hurt the parent as much as the child...

    A spanking should not be given because the parent is inconvienced.

    A spanking should be given as correction and instruction to the child.

    Whatever mode of discipline is used - it must be consistent. It does more harm than good to correct a child for doing something on Monday and let him get by with it on Tuesday.
     
  14. Joseph_Botwinick

    Joseph_Botwinick <img src=/532.jpg>Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2000
    Messages:
    17,527
    Likes Received:
    0
    My parents used the rhythmic style of explaining to me why I was being spanked (I...TOLD...YOU...NOT ...TO ...ETC...). I am thinking this is where I got my musical ability of rhythm from... ;)

    Joseph Botwinick
     
  15. gb93433

    gb93433 Active Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2003
    Messages:
    15,549
    Likes Received:
    15
    I think the problem with spanking lies in the lack of use and misuse. Both are bad. Both create the same effect.

    One does have to ask some questions about any practice and let your ideas be questioned.

    I worked in Finland for awhile and noticed it was quite different the way parents typically handled their children. One of the first things I questioned was that violent crime is almost non-existent there. A typical large city here the size of Helsinki will probably have more murders per day than Helsinki did in a year. What I noticed there was that parents would typically spend more time correcting their children by talking to them than what I see here. The parents I knew there were godly evangelical parents who believed the Bible.

    I do not believe spanking by itself does much good. Nor does any other form of punishment by itself. Love is the major contributor to discipline. When love is established then a form of punishemnt is understood not as a form of control but as correctiont. When a child is praised for what is right then spanking as a form of correction will have an even greater effect.
     
  16. Priscilla Ann

    Priscilla Ann Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2002
    Messages:
    616
    Likes Received:
    0
    We spanked ours when he was young. Fortunately, he was a good kid and needed spanking only very rarely.

    PA
     
  17. Kayla

    Kayla New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2003
    Messages:
    574
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well I am 17 and have no children as I am not married and will not have them until I am married. I know in my own situation, if we were bad when we were younger my mom would take care of us during the day with a spanking (since we were girls) and if we acted like we did not understand why using by commiting the same offense we would get one when my dad got home from work. Now they did it different ways. My mom would swat me usually with a kitchen utentil that wasn't that hard(never left a bruise) she had a favorite wooden spoon she liked to use, when we were real little. My dad would use his hand, and tell me that he was only doing this because he loved me and wanted me to be a decent human being. And I would cry and he would ask me if I was going to do it again. And I would say no everytime. Then he (i was with him) would pray for strength for me not to be tempted to do what ever it was again. I hardly ever got spanked by my dad, usually the little ones by mom. But she'd always tell dad what I had done and that she'd had to spank me. Then he would ask me if I had learned my lesson. If we were in public, public, they would take me somewhere private like the restroom, like at church, or to the car.
     
Loading...