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Does God Put a Age Limit on Marriage?

Discussion in '2003 Archive' started by Jamal5000, Aug 17, 2003.

  1. Jamal5000

    Jamal5000 New Member

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    Okay, please set the record straight for me: I know that the governments and our own rational sense set limits on when a man/woman can get married, but does God set limits?

    For example, I know that it makes total common sense (and legal sense) for a 26 year old man and a 14 year old woman to marry...but where does God forbid such a union?

    What do you think?
     
  2. Artimaeus

    Artimaeus Active Member

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    From a physical standpoint, I would say the end of puberty would be a real good indication from God on a place to start.

    From a psychological, emotional, and spiritual standpoint I would say when we grownup.

    I Cor 13:11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

    It is a bit of an art and not an exact science in determining just when that point is. When the child, on their own, puts away childish things because they no longer find being a child appealing but prefer the things of adulthood, it is an indication of maturity. This gray area between isn't and can't be specified
     
  3. dianetavegia

    dianetavegia Guest

    Puberty.
     
  4. Squire Robertsson

    Squire Robertsson Administrator
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    I think you mean:
    my addition in italics
     
  5. Jamal5000

    Jamal5000 New Member

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    Thanks Squire. That's exactly what I mean...lol.

    I missed the "editing window" before I could go back and fix it.

    I appreicate that.

    [​IMG]
     
  6. dianetavegia

    dianetavegia Guest

    LOL! Jamal! I'm from Georgia so I wasn't sure if you were kidding or if you were one of my neighbors! LOL Just Kidding folks! ;)
     
  7. Ulsterman

    Ulsterman New Member

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    </font>[/QUOTE]In Greek culture a girl was deemed to have passed "the flower of her age” when she was older than 20.
     
  8. Johnv

    Johnv New Member

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    In the Holy Land, in the time of Joseph and Mary, it was common for a girl to be betrothed promptly following her first menstrual cycle. A woman typically married at the age of 12 to 14. The male wasn't much older, but marriages between a 12yo bride and 20yo groom were commonplace. Don't forget, if you lived past 40, you were in the minority. Living to 50 was unheard of.

    But cultures and societies change. Just because it was okay 2000 years ago, doesn't mean it's okay for us today. God allows us to set limits on things such as these, so we should not come to the conclusions that God would condone the marriage of a 12yo today.
     
  9. dianetavegia

    dianetavegia Guest

    Johnv, and we've had some mothers report their daughters had began their cycles as early as 8 years old! Certainly not appropriate under any stretch of the imagination!

    Diane
     
  10. Paul of Eugene

    Paul of Eugene New Member

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    In societies where marriage is arranged, it is not unheard of for children to be married. In societies where men marry many women, it is not unheard of for a man to marry a child and raise the child.

    I'm not reccomending the practice, merely reporting it has happened.
     
  11. Kayla

    Kayla New Member

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    I'm 15 I certainly don't want to marry until after 20! actually 21 when I graduate college.
     
  12. donnA

    donnA Active Member

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    Isaac was 40 when Abraham sent his servant to find him a wife from relatives. I don't know if Moses was married when he lived with the Egyptians or not, but he was 40 when he was sent away and married and became a shephard.
     
  13. LauraB

    LauraB New Member

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  14. LauraB

    LauraB New Member

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    I never could figure out how to use that Quote button!

    Anyway, people today live shorter lives, that is why getting married at, lets say, 20 is not unheard of or frowned apon. Even at 18 or 19. People back then you must remember lived into the hundreds. So 40 back then was like 10 today!

    It all depends also on the individual or individuals! I know more 18 yr olds that have it more together than a 30 yr old. If they feel marriage is right for them, and they know it is where God is leading them, then I am all for it.

    God knows what he is doing. [​IMG]
     
  15. Johnv

    Johnv New Member

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    One of my own daughters was 11. Heck, she was still asking me to wash her hair in the bathtub at 11!!!! One of my best friends had a daughter who started a few weeks before turning 10. (BTW, the biggest reason for girls starting earlier these days is due to improved nutrition.)

    I agree with you. Marriage at these ages are certainly not appropriate by today's standards, by any stretch of imagination. But we must be slow to judge individuals of different cultures at different times (such as Mary's and Joeph's time). Likewise, we mustn't presume that what was okay then is okay now.
     
  16. Dr. Bob

    Dr. Bob Administrator
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    Remember, betrothal/espousal is NOT the same as the physical union of marriage.

    In many places, couples were so betrothed as infants or young children.

    Many Bible scholars think Yosef and Miriam were espoused after his first wife died and that Miriam was "too young" to be married. And so they waited.
     
  17. Johnv

    Johnv New Member

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    Hi Dr Bob. Yes, betrothal is part of the Jewish marriage custom that we westweners don't practice. Mary and Joseph were married, but had not yet "come together", meaning they had not yet shared a home together. In the Jewish tradition, a husband and wife are betrothed. Legally and morally, they're married. Immediately following the betrothal, the husband leaves his new wife with his inlaws, and goes off to acquire a place to live for the both of them, telling her ceremoniously, "I go to prepare a place for you". In a few months, he returns, gathers his wife and her belongings, and brings her to their new home, at which point they are considered to have "come together".

    It sheds a little cultural light on Jesus telling his followers "I go to prepare a place for you", doesn't it? [​IMG]
     
  18. Taufgesinnter

    Taufgesinnter New Member

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    And a great deal of light on the so-called exception clause of Matt. 5:32 and Matt. 19:9, which wasn't included in the gospels written to Gentiles.
     
  19. Jamal5000

    Jamal5000 New Member

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    As a teacher and disciple, I would discourage any marriage involving a really young person (8-14/15) even though the Bible does not say those kinds of marriages are illegal or sinful.

    On the other hand,...would I be right in doing this?

    By telling younger people that they cannot get married for a reason other than Scripture, are we not putting the human institutions ahead of the God's mandates for us?

    Even though we should obey the government's laws, are we not to defy them when they conflict with God's Laws?
     
  20. Johnv

    Johnv New Member

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    Setting a societal limit on marriage is not a conflict with God's law, since the Bible is silent about the age of consent. Since we are called to obey the State, and since the State law limiting the age of consent does not conflict with God's law, then violating the State law on marriage could be sinful.
     
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