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Gina, for only $49.95, I'll stop those annoying Christian telemarketers. But you must act now!



But yes, I do understand...

 

You think that's bad?

I know someone who got a letter from Peter Popoff asking for money to receive a blessing from God of some sort, and it said to use a credit card for "faster service."

Apparently, God likes Visa.

 

I got one the other day with a "prayer Rug" which was a Legal sheet of paper with Jesus on it with his eyes closed....if you look long enough the add says that He will open His eyes and look back at you....

I sold it to a Charismatic for 29.95....JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!

But I did get the prayer rug.....

WHAT A GAG!!!!!

Grace and Peace
J

 

Too funny

 

the only time I've ever gotten up and walked out of a service during the sermon was when the kids and I were visiting a church as invited guests. Five of my children are adopted special case kids (all are grown now -- this happened about 14 years ago). The minister started on the health and wealth thing. I looked at my children and thought about how they were hearing that God must not love them because of their disabilities. Then I realized that Jesus was not rich and Paul was not healthy and thus neither of them would have been welcome there, either.

We got up and quietly left in the middle of the sermon.

 

Helen, I can't believe your nerve.

How dare you walk out....quietly?

You shoulda marched right up and punched him in the nose. Since God doesn't let "righteous" people hurt, he would've been fine, and you would've felt better...

 

Visited a charismatic church once with a friend. When the "preacher" got up and said that they were going to have a "holy ghost fit," I got up alright, and left.

What a bunch of kooks.

 

My daughter got a call from somebody like Robert Tilton who wanted her to send a seed gift now, that would multiply 10-fold within a week.

My daughter said, "well, I tell, ya, I don't have a hundred dollars right now, but since this works so well, why don't you send ME the hundred, and your ministry will be a thousand dollars richer next week."

Uh, we can't do that....uh....click.

 

Here is a message that I used on my answering machine a couple yrs ago....

Feel free to use it in your best infomercial voice:


"WELL, hello there,,, Today's your lucky day, you've just reached (***-****) And although no one is available to take you call at this time, you may still have the pleasure of talking to one of us.... Why yes! We will call you back!... But you have to act now, leave your name and number and someone will get back with you."

Then in your nasal voice say, "Offer excluded from some households!"


I used to work as a telemarketer.... and this was the funniest message I had ever heard...
It was from someone in California.... Johnv, I didn't call you did I? lol

 

Awesome!

 

You know, not all Christian organizations want money. Some of them are very giving. There's this Nigerian Christian group that sent me an e-mail, says they want to give lots of money to my ministry if I will only tell them my account number. Now where was that bank book....

 

I once got a pm from a fellow boardmember, who had received a message coming from what they claimed was the Dutch branch of that Nigerian Christian group John of Japan was referring to.
She was seriously considering giving in to their suggestions when I discovered they were operating from, of all places, Brazil.

 

You didn't want to see that?!?

(ok, me niether )

 

I, too, schedule my Holy Ghost fits. The Spirit always shows up punctually. You've just gotta let him know who's boss.

I got a prayer rug in the mail not too long ago as well. It was the first time I'd ever seen such a thing! I got a good laugh out of it and threw it away.

 

Dutch branch? In Brazil? Well I'll be. That must be why I can't get ahold of them anymore! I guess I'll just have to miss the bonanza.

 

When I was in college I worked at a area hobby shop. We had a locally based televangelist named Jim Whittington (who later spent time in jail in Florida for stealing from an old lady). He purchased cases of fluorescent paints (he bought the handkerchiefs somewhere else) to paint Christian symbols on the "prayer cloths" that he personally prayed over and mailed to all his donors. I still have to get over my feelings of cynicism when I see a TV preacher - if I listen at all I listen very carefully due to all the crooks who have exploited Jesus name for financial gain.
Bruce

 

You threw such an important artifact away!?! I hope you know the trouble this could cause. I'm sure there were some kind of instructions telling you to make five copies and send it to five friends so that they too could . . . mmmmm could . . . Oh! benefit from however a prayer rug benefits you!

I can't believe you deprived five friends of that joy!