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Finding Common Ground w/Family

Discussion in 'Fundamental Baptist Forum' started by BryanMatthew, Apr 22, 2018.

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  1. BryanMatthew

    BryanMatthew New Member

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    My mom & dad didn't really go to church much when I was growing up. I eventually got into an IFB church. When I was a teen i got into some very discouraging arguments with my dad about Bible doctrine. My parents believe all good people go to heaven no matter what. (Don't ask me to elaborate, it's nonesense argument and illogical so i can't defend the position.)

    Anyway, my dad died 4 years ago and my mom's been going to the new-age-type church called Unity, aka Unity School of Christianity. I managed to convince her to stop going but she wants to find another church. The problem is she doesn't want to go to a Baptist church of any kind because I've portrayed it as too strict. We argued today about women pastors. I showed her several verses that prove women cannot be the pastor of a church. She believes that's because men wrote the Bible (insert face-palm icon here).

    How can I get along and keep my mouth shut when she tells me about how great her churches are when I know they are all leading her astray. She's 73 years old. I don't know how much time I have with her. Fundamental Bible beliefs are ruining our relationship. I honestly don't know what to do. The local IFB church is not able to help so I need to ask if anyone here has experience with this. Do I push the Bible? How do I let her be led astray?
     
    #1 BryanMatthew, Apr 22, 2018
  2. BryanMatthew

    BryanMatthew New Member

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    Well.... I guess nobody struggles with family members that don't approve of fundamental baptist beliefs. Pretty funny.
     
    #2 BryanMatthew, Apr 23, 2018
  3. Rob_BW

    Rob_BW Well-Known Member
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    You gave us a pretty personal story. It's a lot easier to reply to an abstract or hypothetical than to a story about someone's own mother.

    Honestly, if I was in your shoes, at 73, I would be more concerned about her salvation than doctrinal differences. She's not out on a mission field or in a pulpit spreading error.
     
    #3 Rob_BW, Apr 23, 2018
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  4. BryanMatthew

    BryanMatthew New Member

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    I don't know what to say Rob. She's not a preacher on a pulpit of course because she's a woman. So that's not an issue.

    Man can't judge if she's saved but her testimony sounds legit to me.

    I thought it's a pretty straight forward story, and I'm really having a hard time knowing what else to do besides point out where the beliefs in that other church is wrong.

    The state of our churches today are pretty sad. We got most fundamental church goers doing nothin but criticize each other and other churches without offering a single bit of compassion for even fellow baptists! But we also have churches on the other end of the spectrum that teach such watered down theology and they're so scared to criticise that they create people like my mom who at 72 has never even owned her own Bible before.

    Hard to find a middle ground brother! Can you pray for us? Pray my mom finds the truth and pray I'll be the kind of Christian that can let Christs light shine, not just criticism. Thank you.
     
    #4 BryanMatthew, Apr 23, 2018
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  5. 1689Dave

    1689Dave Well-Known Member

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    Jesus said “For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.” (Matthew 10:35–36) (KJV 1900). I can relate to your situation. In my case I tried using books to no avail. Writing Bible Study guides. And sharing directly in conversation. But I don't give up. Sometimes a scripture spoken today will bear fruit years from now.

    “Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.” (2 Timothy 4:2–4) (KJV 1900)
     
    #5 1689Dave, Apr 28, 2018
  6. John of Japan

    John of Japan Well-Known Member
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    I'm with Rob. Discussing doctrine with your mother will be fruitless. It is literally impossible for her to understand correct doctrine. 1 Cor. 2:14--"But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned."

    Keep giving her the Gospel. That is where the power of God lies for your purposes. Rom. 1:16--"For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek."
     
    #6 John of Japan, May 10, 2018
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  7. Pastor_Bob

    Pastor_Bob Well-Known Member

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    Magnify the positives and minimize the negatives where you can. You've put her in a position where she feels that she needs to defend her church from your criticisms. She'll continue to defend her church even if she's not sure if they are right or wrong on an issue.

    Praise her for her faithfulness. Commend her for her love for the house of God. Let her know how much it means to you that she's in church every week.

    May I suggest having a Bible study with your mother? Concentrate on the foundational Bible truths. You can teach her out of the Scriptures; and, if she's saved, the Holy Spirit will do the rest. Attacking her church will never be productive. One's position on women preachers, etc. will make no difference in eternity.
     
    #7 Pastor_Bob, May 10, 2018
  8. Yeshua1

    Yeshua1 Well-Known Member
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    Keep the focus on her being a sinner like all of us, and her need to have the Lord Jesus save her, and pray that the Lord Himself will open her heart and mind to receive the good news!
     
    #8 Yeshua1, May 10, 2018
  9. HankD

    HankD Well-Known Member
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    Be an example of true godliness to her, to your church, be a blessing to both.

    Galatians 5
    22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
    23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

    And the fruit of the Spirit cannot be faked.
     
    #9 HankD, May 12, 2018
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  10. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    recently many Baptist churches have dropped the name Baptist - are now know
    simply as a "Bible Church" "Community church" and ect.

    If there is such a church in your area - is that something that your mom would
    consider attendending?

    and be careful NOT to argue with you mom.
    Has not done any good so far, and apparently
    it does nothing but cause strife.
     
    #10 Salty, May 12, 2018
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