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Georgia Ordination Questions

Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor (Clean)' started by John of Japan, Mar 15, 2010.

  1. John of Japan

    John of Japan Well-Known Member

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    Just found this in an old file on my computer. :type:

    GEORGIA ORDINATION QUESTIONS
    1. Is your King James Bible black or Burgundy?
    2. What side do you part your hair on?
    3. Do you spit when you preach? If so how far? (circle one)
    a. front row b. 3rd row c. back row d. vestibule of the Methodist Church across the street.
    4. How many "hacks" do you hack per point ?
    5. Do you tie your tie 3, 2 or 10 inches above your belt buckle?
    6. Wire rimmed or horn rimmed?
    7. Can you quote every word to "Thank God For The Lighthouse"
    8. Have you ever watched more than 10 min of Benny Hinn without laughing or getting really angry? How angry?
    9. Oliver B. Greene- prophet priest or king?
    10. White shirts or colored shirts?
    11. Do you preach with or without hankies?
    12. Do your hankies have lace on them?
    13. Tie tack, chain or let 'er flap?
    14. Do you have any contact with preachers in one of the following areas: Hammond IN, Pensacola FL, Greenville SC, Ft. Worth TX, Springfield MO or Ashtabula OH?
    15. Do you prefer your chicken Fried, baked, broiled or just so long as it's dead? (or other)
    16. Canned music- of the Devil or OK?
    17. Guitar picking in Church- good or bad?
    18. Fiddle or Violin which one is it?
    19. Lincoln or Cadillac?
    20. When reading text- people stand or sit?
    21. Culottes- pro or con?
    22. Computers good, bad or just okay for preachers on Saturday nights?
    23. Do you say "Amen?" or "Say Amen right there"?
    24. Doctorates for preachers. Ok, not Ok, or only Ok if they give me one?
     
  2. Tom Bryant

    Tom Bryant Active Member

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    Funny stuff! and not just from GA... sounds like some from my ordination in south rural FL
     
  3. NaasPreacher (C4K)

    NaasPreacher (C4K) Well-Known Member

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    Where did you get my (Alabama) ordination questions?
     
  4. John of Japan

    John of Japan Well-Known Member

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    So there are some places in Florida that are genuinely southern, huh?
     
  5. John of Japan

    John of Japan Well-Known Member

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    I have my sources. :D
     
  6. Tom Bryant

    Tom Bryant Active Member

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    Precious few anymore!
     
  7. Carolina Baptist

    Carolina Baptist Active Member

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    Better than Freeze dried :D
     
  8. John of Japan

    John of Japan Well-Known Member

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    Well, I've been in some cold and dry song services in my time! :laugh:
     
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