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Hello all - I found out disturbing news about my neighbor

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by ten.82, Aug 4, 2018.

  1. ten.82

    ten.82 New Member

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    Hello all, I need some advice here before I do something I am going to regret.

    I found out recently, that my neighbor, a 42 yr old man, living with his 67 yr old father, and step mother, has a 4 year old child with a girl that is 24 years of age. That means, the individual would of had to consented to coitus at the age of 19 or 20 and him being 38. Additionally, this individual was married to the 24 year old. The child lives with them, not with the mother.

    The sad part is that my wife shares a first name with that girl. The father came over one day to meet me, and I let them know a little about myself, and my wife. I think they were thinking that my wife, since she shares a first name with the child's mother, was in fact the child's mother. I am having a real hard time keeping my composer.

    When I first moved in, I seen multiple vehicles showing up to the home. Recently, that has stopped. Also the 42 year old does not work at all. I am certain there are drugs in the home. My close friend is an agent, and was able to see that the 42 yr old man testified against some associates in the past, and has had minor charges.

    I am wondering what to do here. I cannot let this go. I am afraid I might do something terrible. I need solid advice from people who care about each other. I am a practicing southern baptist. Raised in a great home, with a great loving family, who too would not care for an individual like this.

    Please, please, offer me strong advice. Please offer another point of view on this, because I cannot keep my composer.
     
  2. Aaron

    Aaron Member
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    I don't see that you're worried the little girl is being abused, and the fact she is not living with her mother, and that her father stepped up to his parenting role, albeit with feet of clay, is speaking volumes.

    It appears you're trying to cope with an acute case of self-righteousness.

    My advice: take a long, hard look at God's law, learn that at heart you are on the same scale of scumbaggery (that makes it easier not to be so judgmental), and love your neighbor.
     
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  3. ten.82

    ten.82 New Member

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    It is concerning the mother is no longer in the life/home with the child. The father may resent the mother, and the child is a resemblance of the mother. I fear for the child, because this is a 42 year old man, with a 4 year old child, and while I would hate to think of the worse, it appears that the past of the individual may be dark, and I would hate to suspect any foulness. The father did not step up his parenting role. The father does not work, he is merely staying with his father and his step mother. This is disheartening as well. I understand there can be single fathers with great motives, but the point here is that, he is not. I wouldn't say self-righteous, more about the point that these individuals are not good people, its not a good situation, and I am trying to cope with the fact from a representational standpoint- I feel like God has a plan for me, and I am in the right place at the right time. In my life, I've seen God's signs, followed them, and I have lived my life as a God fearing Baptist. While I love my neighbors, some individuals you cannot, and an individual like that, it is very hard to do so.
     
  4. Reynolds

    Reynolds Well-Known Member
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    Good fences make good neighbors. If you see good evidence the law is bring violated, report it. If not, mind your own business.
     
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  5. Rob_BW

    Rob_BW Well-Known Member
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    Granted they were married, but my dad was 47 and my mom was 23 when I was born. And my sister is two years older than me.

    If you'd like to be a positive influence in this kid's life, tearing down the kid's father is probably not the avenue to take.
     
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  6. agedman

    agedman Well-Known Member
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    1). Taking the view that you are a man, stay way from the neighbor’s daughter unless other family members are present. Small accusations can devastate the testimony of good people.

    2). Engage the parents of the young man. Let them share with you making judgments. More than likely, they have battered their own selves over the situation and just need nonjudgmental friendship.

    3). Engage the young man in conversation that allows for both humor and discussions of common interest.

    4). Make certain 991 is on speed dial.

    5). Hostility often breeds more hostility. “Blessed is the peacemaker,” they get to pick up the pieces from broken and fractured relationships and bring them to the Healer.
     
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  7. InTheLight

    InTheLight Well-Known Member
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    Can you clarify this part? I'm reading this as:

    1. Your wife shares the first name of the 24 year old mother of the 4 year old girl.

    2. You think the 67 year old father of the 42 year old man believes your wife is the mother of the 4 year old?

    Is that correct?

    Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk
     
  8. canadyjd

    canadyjd Well-Known Member

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    I'm having a hard time believing this is sincere. You are demonstrating the worst impulses of non-believers...pure speculation concerning this family, judgementalism and an unexplained willingness to engage in violence based on the first two (i.e. you stated, "I'm losing my composure, I can't let this go, I'm afraid I'll do something terrible")

    Logs and splinters, it seems to me
     
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  9. FollowTheWay

    FollowTheWay Well-Known Member
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    It seems to me you're being extremely judgemental towards the person who is coming here for advice. I see facts that he has uncovered. What speculation do you see? Saying that "You are demonstrating the worst impulses of non-believers" is completely unacceptable in this case as far as I can see.
     
  10. canadyjd

    canadyjd Well-Known Member

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    Speculation: "I think that they were thinking that my wife, who shares a first name with child's mother, is in fact the mother of the child."
    Speculation: "I am certain there are drugs in the home"
    Speculation: "The father may resent the mother and the child is a resemblance of the mother"
    Speculation: "It appears the past of this individual may be dark."
    Speculation:"I understand there are some single father's with great motives, the point here is that, he is not."

    Worst impulses of non believers:
    "I am having a real hard time keeping my composure."
    "I can't let this go."
    "I'm afraid I might do something terrible."
    "I cannot keep my composure"
    "These people are not good people"
    "While I love my neighbors, some individuals you cannot."
     
  11. JonShaff

    JonShaff Fellow Servant
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    I'm more concerned with what you mean when you say you are a "Practicing Southern Baptist." what does that have to do with anything? Are you born-again?
     
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  12. JonShaff

    JonShaff Fellow Servant
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    Just an observation here--Many of the people I come in contact with that say this rhetoric--"I know I'm supposed to love my neighbor, but some people are just so hard to love, and some you cannot"--are the ones that are actually hard to love and get along with. Just an observation.
     
  13. canadyjd

    canadyjd Well-Known Member

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    Another red flag making me wonder if this is sincere. I've never heard anyone discribe themselves as a "practicing Southern Baptist." I've heard "I'm a Christian by God's grace and a southern baptist by choice" on many occasions. It just seems out of place to me.

    He then says he was raised in a great home with a great loving family that "would not care for individual like this" His demeanor toward his neighbor is anything but loving.

    Also, in between claiming these neighbors are not good people, and are unlovable, and insinuating the father is abusive, he states he has followed God's signs and has lived his life as a God-fearing baptist.

    Quite frankly, the post smacks of a smear against Baptists, imho.

    If it is sincere, I refer to my original statement. Logs and splinters.
     
  14. Reynolds

    Reynolds Well-Known Member
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    You need to meet my cousin. He will convince you that some people are very hard to love.
     
  15. FollowTheWay

    FollowTheWay Well-Known Member
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    Fact: I found out recently, that my neighbor, a 42 yr old man, living with his 67 yr old father, and step mother, has a 4 year old child with a girl that is 24 years of age. That means, the individual would of had to consented to coitus at the age of 19 or 20 and him being 38.
    Fact: . Additionally, this individual was married to the 24 year old.
    Fact: The child lives with them, not with the mother.
    Fact: The father came over one day to meet me, and I let them know a little about myself, and my wife
    Fact: When I first moved in, I seen multiple vehicles showing up to the home. Recently, that has stopped.
    Fact: Also the 42 year old does not work at all.
    Fact: My close friend is an agent, and was able to see that the 42 yr old man testified against some associates in the past, and has had minor charges.
    Fact: . I am a practicing southern baptist. Raised in a great home, with a great loving family, who too would not care for an individual like this.

    It seems to me there are more facts here than speculation.
     
  16. InTheLight

    InTheLight Well-Known Member
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    Speculation: The 67 year old neighbor thinks my wife is the mother of a four year old child that is living with the neighbor, the neighbor's son and the neighbor's daughter-in-law. Despite the 42 year old son telling his father that his 24 year old bride is the mother of the child, for some reason I suspect this man thinks my wife is really the mother. Apparently this neighbor thinks we moved in RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO HIM so we could keep an eye on my wife's four year old child by another man. Apparently the neighbor thinks I'm OK with this as well.

    This is such a strange thing to suspect, it takes my breath away.
     
  17. canadyjd

    canadyjd Well-Known Member

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    Fact: Nothing that was stated about this family is any way the business of ten.82.
    Fact: Nothing that was stated would cause a mature Christian (baptist or otherwise) to be "afraid I'm going to do something terrible"
    Fact: Everything after the words "I found out recently" is nothing but gossip and wild speculation.
    Fact: "My close friend is an agent..." suggests his friend is an FBI agent, and that agent friend obtained information from a government data base on his neighbor for no other reason than to ease the wild imagination of his friend. That would be improper and perhaps illegal on the part of the "agent".
     
  18. canadyjd

    canadyjd Well-Known Member

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    BTW: ten.82 welcome to the Baptist Board.
     
  19. Pastor Sam

    Pastor Sam Member

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    very sad
     
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