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Highest rank in the military

Discussion in 'Vets and Friends' started by Salty, Aug 13, 2022.

  1. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    Is a sergeant major in the Army a high rank?

    This should answer it for you:

    RANK RECOGNITION MADE EASY

    General

    Faster than a speeding bullet.
    More powerful than a locomotive.
    Leaps tall buildings in a single bound.
    Walks on water.
    Lunches with God, but must pick up tab.

    Colonel

    Almost as fast as a speeding bullet.
    More powerful than a shunting engine on a steep incline.
    Leaps short buildings with a single bound.
    Walks on water if sea is calm.
    Talks to God.

    Lieutenant-Colonel

    Faster than an energetically thrown rock.
    Almost as powerful as a speeding bullet.
    Leaps short buildings with a running start in favorable winds.
    Walks on water of indoor swimming pools if lifeguard is present.
    May be granted audience with God if special request is approved at least three working days in advance.

    Major

    Can fire a speeding bullet with tolerable accuracy.
    Loses tug-of-war against anything mechanical.
    Makes impressively high marks when trying to leap tall buildings.
    Swims well.
    Is occasionally addressed by God, in passing.

    Captain

    Can sometimes handle firearm without shooting self.
    Is run over by trains.
    Barely clears outhouse.
    Dog paddles.
    Mumbles to self.

    Lieutenant

    Is dangerous to self and comrades if armed and unsupervised.
    Recognizes trains two out of three times.
    Runs into tall buildings.
    Can stay afloat if properly instructed in the use of life jacket and water wings.
    Talks to walls.

    2nd Lieutenant

    Can be trusted with either gun or ammunition but never both.
    Must have train ticket pinned to jacket and mittens tied to sleeves.
    Falls over doorsteps while trying to enter tall buildings.
    Plays in Mud puddles.
    Stutters.

    Officer Cadet

    Under no circumstances to be issued with gun or ammunition, and must even be closely supervised when handling sharp pieces of paper - staples are right out.
    Says: "Look at choo choo!"
    Not allowed inside buildings of any size.
    Makes good boat anchor.
    Mere existence makes God shudder.

    Sergeant-Major

    Catches hyper sonic armor piercing fin stabilized discarding sabot depleted uranium long rod penetrators in his teeth and eats them.
    Kicks bullet trains off their tracks.
    Uproots tall buildings and walk under them.
    Freezes water with a single glance; parts it with trifling gesture.

    The Sgt Major Is God.
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  2. Earth Wind and Fire

    Earth Wind and Fire Well-Known Member
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    Lol… my dad was a Sgt Major. He did carry himself as if he were G-D.
     
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