Hot Topic..What Constitutes a Biblical Marriage?

Folks,It's been a few days since I posted this topic and I wanted to give it a chance to see what kind of replys it got before I added anything.I appreciate the civil tone of everybodys opinions and I will say that for the most part I'm in agreement with most of what has been said thus far.I personally believe that marriage is primarily a matter of the physical union between a man and woman that have chosen to make a commitment to each other FOR LIFE...and that God honors that commitment.I do agree that we should live in accordance with the laws of the land as the Word of God obviously directs us to do in Romans chapter 13 and submit to whatever the laws of our land dictate in regards to "legal" marriage.I don't believe however that there is any "command" or requirement in the Word of God that directs us to have any particular CEREMONY to make the above said marriage LEGITIMATE in the eyes of God.Essentially,marriage in the Bible is a joining of flesh and only that.Between two people that have determined to commit themselves to each other THAT is where the union begins and ends(at death)and any ceremony that the traditions of man or the culture dictates is just "fluff"and a matter of personal choice.As I read my Bible what I see is that fornication is ANY sex between people that have no intention of permanence or commitment in their relationship with one another.Adultery is any sexual encounter between married people that aren't married to EACH OTHER.That about covers any form of promiscuous sex between any man,woman,boy or girl that have no permanent commitment to each other.There's more that can be added to all of this but I'll leave it at that for the moment cause it's time for bed.5am comes early. Greg

 

Hey ya'll....Just wanted to bring this topic back to the top to see if it would get anymore feedback....anybody got anything else to share??

Greg

 

Hummmmmm! Seems like I got some 'splainin to do..lol...first of all let me say...Wayne..you are quite right..I did set that ground rule about scripture and I apologize for not following it.I fully intend to and I'll try to do better.Part of my problem is time and I tend to start typing and get lost in just saying what I think without stopping myself to furnish any reference.I think I was an ADD kid(I'm 50 now)lol..and my attention gets diverted easily.I'll try to do better as this thread continues.Rather that ramble and rehash,do me a favor and post any particular item you are curious about and I'll dig out a scripture(in context of course) to answer it with.
Now...Wendy...it sounds like to me that if you and your fellow(I assume his name is David)live by the practices you spoke of then you must have a pretty good marriage!I would characterize the sum total of what you said to be the lack of SELFISHNESS....Amen sister!By the way..I am NOT a marriage counselor in any regard but that sounds like sound advice to me.
Now...oh boy here we go....Bro.Pastor...I agree with you 1000% that there is an inherent danger in the idea of physical union being that which constitutes the marriage....but that doesn't make it any less true.I have never,nor do I expect I will ever hear you or any other preacher get up and "expound" this point from a pulpit because there is no question that many today would(in our immoral society) DEFINITELY take that as a license to sin.But,it is quite plain that in more than one instance in the Old Testament the marriage was defined by the physical union and God recognised the "participants" as officially married.AND...there was no mention of any ceremony as we know it today.For proof I offer the following texts....The account of Abram and Hagar,Gen.16:3-4...Isaac and Rebekah,Gen.24:67...Jacob and Leah,Gen.29:23-28 and of course there was also the account about Tamar and Judah in Gen.38 and also Onan...also in Gen.38.The significant thing is that there is never any mention of vows or ceremonies of any kind.The language found is things like "and he went in unto her...."Also see Deut.21:13 and 25:5.."shall go in unto her,.."These kind of passages clearly prove that the physical union does indeed constitute a marriage but I do note that the union was made with the apparent intention of permanent COMMITMENT since they stayed together as far as I can tell from my personal reading.If it had been a case of sex for fun or pleasure or with no permanence in mind then there would be no question that it would have been nothing but harlotry or mere fornication and there is no question that that is SIN plain and simple whether you are in the Old Testament OR the New Testament.There is absolutely NO JUSTIFICATION for "recreational sex"between unmarried people found anywhere in the entire Bible and I think we both know that.However,there is no question in my mind that if you got up next Sunday and preached what I just quoted above in open church(particularly in THIS day and age)countless people would take it and twist it to justify all manner of lewd and immoral behavior.
On another note I believe there IS a valid case to be made that Christians should abide by the laws of the government that God has ordained as outlined in Romans 13 that some of our previous posters pointed out.So much for tax evaders(but that's another thread)and in most states common law marriage(I'm fairly sure...but I don't know about SC).In any case,at the very least,any couple that has committed themselves to one another and have physically consummated that relationship should seek to obey God by abiding by the laws of the God-ordained government that they live under and do the lawful thing and get "legally" hitched.....and the church should recognize it.Nowhere in the Bible(and I have looked high and low)is there any COMMAND or requirement given to have a "ceremony" or exchange "vows" for a marriage to be valid in the eyes of God.Some have even suggested that that idea originated with the Roman Catholic church since marriage is one of their "sacraments"(which they even believe they can cancel or "annull")If you or anybody else can find one I'd like to see it and I do have an open mind and a willing heart to want to know what God says and means.I know that the Lord Jesus attended wedding feasts(John 2)and thereby AT LEAST validated the customs of the culture of His day but that in no way constitutes any command to perform or have them.I will stand by my assertion that marriage is primarily a physical union between one man and one woman(with lifelong permanent commitment in mind)in God's eyes and I believe this is consistent with the plain teaching of scripture.You and I both know that some people will go to great lengths to justify sin and but NOBODY can escape accountability before God.We will ALL give an account before Him and anyone who seeks to justify him or herself selfishly should be always be reminded of this.
Well....it took me 1 1/2 hours to compile this post but I wanted to get it right...or at least as right as I know how...LOL! Your turn! Everybody else feel free to jump on in the deep end of the pool too!

Bro.Greg

 

Ahhh...I love a good bible discussion that doesn't involve questioning the authority of the scriptures.Thanks guys!
Now..El Guero...I'll just say that from what I see the points you offered are indeed valid as a "thread" of truth regarding sexual sin.I won't comment on the divorce issue because that is a whole different topic that for the purposes of this discussion I think we should avoid.God was laying down the types and shadows of the future of His people and His laws and rules of human behavior in the Old Testament so I think it IS a safe place to look for truth regarding ANY subject as long as you honor sound rules of interpretation when reading and studying there.The same would be true in the New Testament as far as sound interpretation of scripture.In many cases the scriptures are clear as crystal on what they say and mean and I think the passages you referred to are good examples of that.Thank God that we aren't under law in this dispensation or adultery...as bad as it is...would still be a capital crime worthy of death.You also touched on the point that women were considered "property" and that is quite true ..or was in those days.We still see the remnants of that thinking today in that the woman still traditionally takes the last name of the man in marriage and finds her identity in the man as head of the household.I might add that this tradition continued into New Testament times as demonstrated by the apostle Paul when he wrote 1 Corinthians 11:3 and Eph.5:22-25...check'em out.
Bart...you carried it a bit further when you mentioned Ruth and Boaz.Ole Boaz was just plain "smitten" with REAL LOVE for Ruth!Fell for her like a sack of tatters he did!What a picture of our Blessed Redeemer in that story....BUT...El Guero touched on the fact that in that culture women were traded and bought like property.And the truth of the matter is that while Boaz DEFINITELY loved her,he actually OBTAINED her as a wife by performing NOT a ceremony...but a BUSINESS TRANSACTION in her behalf(because he loved her).Regardless,the end result of it all is found in Ruth 4:13..."So Boaz TOOK Ruth,and she was his wife:AND WHEN HE WENT IN UNTO HER,the Lord gave her conception,and she bare a son."
I still stand by the fact that marriage is primarily a physical union that has nothing to do with vows and ceremonies even though I don't think there is anything wrong with them.I just don't believe we are under any bible command to observe them.

God Bless You all...and have a Blessed CHRISTmas!

Greg Sr.

 

Actually Bart I think it does no particular violence to the text to say that for Boaz and Ruth it was BOTH business AND religious in its nature.The key thing there is that regardless of all that Boaz LOVED her...totally smitten with love for her...and on top of that Ruth was a GENTILE woman and for Boaz(a JEW) to fall in love with her and seek to marry her was normally forbidden according to jewish law.I have seen that reference to the jewish law but it escapes me right now where it is.Something about Israel not taking strange wives...if you know where it is post it.

Gotta get to bed...God Bless You..more later!

Greg Sr.

 

Bart...Ruth 1:16,17 record that conversion in beautiful Old Testament language where Ruth intreats her mother-in-law Naomi as follows:
16)"And Ruth said,Intreat me not to leave thee,or to return from following after thee:for whither thou goest,I will go;and whither thou lodgest,I will lodge:thy people shall be my people,AND THY GOD MY GODcaps mine)
17)Where thou diest,will I die,and there will I be buried:the Lord do so to me,and more also,if ought but death part thee and me."
Read the whole chapter...it truly is one of the saddest,yet beautiful and joyous stories in the entire Bible.

God Bless You my Brother!
Greg Sr.