1. Welcome to Baptist Board, a friendly forum to discuss the Baptist Faith in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to all the features that our community has to offer.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

How accountable to his local congregation....

Discussion in 'Baptist Theology & Bible Study' started by ktn4eg, Dec 7, 2013.

  1. ktn4eg

    ktn4eg New Member

    Nov 19, 2004
    Likes Received:
    .... is a pastor for the behavior of his children?

    I've read arguments regarding all sorts of positions on what the marital status of a pastor should be (both pre- and post- his salvation);and what exactly"not given to wine" means; etc.

    OTOH, I've never read what God's Word takes two verses to describe (I Tim. 3:4-5) about how his children should behave.

    Don't get me wrong....I know that a pastor's kids are as much "sinners" as anyone else's kids are, and that "kids will be kids." BUT, is there "a line in the sand" wherein he should be asked to resign as pastor when his older (say, 14-16 YO) kids are continually found using illegal drugs, stealing cars, etc., especially if said pastor apparently overlooks such behavior?
  2. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    Oct 25, 2004
    Likes Received:
    If a child's arrest was a single, isolated incident the pastor needs the prayerful support of his leaders and the church. He's got a full plate as a parent and doesn't need the worry of losing his job to exacerbate the situation. That doesn't seem to be the situation here as two problems are highlighted in your example.

    First is the kids. Preacher kids are no different than everybody else's kids. If there is a pattern of illegal behavior ( drugs, stealing cars) there is evidently not much parenting going on in that home. Most kids do not engage in illegal behavior. The ones that do have been given long leashes, limited boundaries and little supervision. I know everybody has an anecdote about the kids of a friend of a friend.... There are exceptions in every scenario.

    Second is the pastor. You said, "...especially if said pastor apparently overlooks such behavior?". That would be where I see I Timothy 3:4-5 applying. If he chooses to overlook the behavior of his children and allows it to continue he has abdicated his parenting role. He not only has little control over his household he apparently is doing little to rectify the situation.

    Two patterns emerge: the conduct and behavior of the children and the conduct and behavior of the pastor. He needs to take a break from the pulpit and get his house in order.
  3. go2church

    go2church Active Member
    Site Supporter

    Jun 21, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Pastors kids are no different then any other kids. They can make horrible choices too. They will get into fights, stay out past curfew, get caught drinking. That doesn't mean there is bad parenting. What parent wants that to happen?

    Kids are free agents like anyone else. They can be taught manners, encouraged in the faith, but ultimately they must choose God for themselves.
  4. agedman

    agedman Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    Nov 4, 2011
    Likes Received:
    I agree.

    What is presented in the OP is far more than just being caught up in sin and being caught.

    What is evident in the OP is the history of rebellion.

    The question is what is a pastor to do? Resign?


    For instance, I was once in a situation in which a church had a christian school. The pastor let it be known that he did not want to know the conduct of his children was a problem, and designated an associate pastor to handle the complaints.

    That pastor then has "crossed the line" and should have been accountable to the assembly as not having his own house in order.

    There isn't a parent who has not experienced the pain of a problem child - be it Adam and Eve, to the present day. All children are at some time in their life a problem child.

    IMO, there are two times a parent can mold a child.

    Ages zero to three - that is when the child learns that no means no.
    Ages 10 to thirteen - that is when the child learns that no still means no.


    Back to the OP.

    The rule of thumb would be the response by the pastor. Is there a documented history of the pastor covering sin ("boys will be boys" type) or is there a history of the pastor responding appropriately.

    In the first - nope, the pastor long before relegated authority to hit and miss and that is not leadership in the home. Resign and put the house in order.

    In the second - yep, the pastor has a troubled child, a child of rebellion, and though unfortunate the pastor has made documented historical efforts to reign in and "rule" the home.

    Too often folks look at the level (type) of sin or if the children are even sinful and equate the ability of one qualified to the ministry.

    That isn't completely the whole story. It is the rule of the home - the financial, care, upgrade, outreach (being sociable and engaging), and a number of other factors. The discipline of the children is a part of the mix.
    When discipline has been in place, and has been consistent and has been appropriate and the child still rebels, that really isn't a reflection upon the home.

    What is not acceptable is inconsistency and avoidance of the "rule" of the home: financially, care, upgrade, outreach, children ... Inconsistency - nope resign and get things in order.

    Padre - you did good.
  5. just-want-peace

    just-want-peace Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    Feb 3, 2002
    Likes Received:
    As one of my former pastors said;
    "Parents of gold sometimes have children of lead, and parents of lead sometimes have children of gold,"