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How appropiate is it 4 a Pastor to....

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by Phillipians121, Sep 20, 2006.

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  1. bapmom

    bapmom New Member

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    we're not being judgemental, El Guero.......but thanks for the support! :)
     
  2. TaterTot

    TaterTot Guest

    its not a judgemental thing at all, at least not on my part. I have been in that situation. And I also know that none of us is exempt. However, I fear that you have gotten upset because you didnt like our opinions.
     
  3. El_Guero

    El_Guero New Member

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    If she waves at ya' - I am getting out of the way . . .

    ;)

    PS - ya' had some good advice in there!

     
    #63 El_Guero, Sep 25, 2006
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 25, 2006
  4. El_Guero

    El_Guero New Member

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    You fear much more than you need to. Have you known me to not correct someone that needed correcting? With or without fear of being ridiculed by others on the board for taking a stand?

    ;)

    Tho't so.

    Since I didn't correct anyone, they should feel safe . . . at least from my POV. I cannot do anything about guilty consciences . . .

    Did I forget to say that I had learned alot from ya'll's advice? I apologize - I did learn something.

    Thanks!!!

    :saint:


     
  5. TaterTot

    TaterTot Guest

    Oops, ElGuero, Did you think that was aimed at you?? Sorry, its for Phillipians121

    You aint gotta duck.....i can hit you with the 'maters better that way :)
     
  6. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O. Moderator
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    If I am not mistaken, TatorTot was not talking to you when she said, "I fear you have gotten upset because you didn't like our opinions."

    She was talking to the original poster.

    I promise there are no guilty consciences here.
     
  7. Brother Bob

    Brother Bob New Member

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    I am not wondering why he said it. Unless who he said it too does not want trouble she better get away from him. There is nothing hidden that shall not be revealed and believe me it will come out in time. This is to the OP. :tonofbricks:
     
  8. donnA

    donnA Active Member

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    You avoid the subject when it becomes personal(the issue of sex), when it leaves the pages of scripture, and him telling you about his sex life.
    What perpetrator!? I am protecting no one. You asked if this was appropriate and I answered no it is not. But neither is it appropriate for you to discuss it with him and continue that discussion on more then one occasion. You might get caught up the first time, but to continue it more then once?
    If all he has done is talk about sex, and you let him. Did you not see it was wrong to be talking about sex with another man? especially when it left the bounds of the scripture.
    And yes, I know exactly what I would do, I will not talk about a mans sex life with him. Final answer, no ifs ands or buts.
     
  9. Revmitchell

    Revmitchell Well-Known Member
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    While it is clear that this Pastors behavior is inappropriate what is unclear is what motivates him to do it. And it would take a long conversation with him to figure that out.

    The Pastor should receive counseling from a group of other Pastors.

    What we should not do is rush to judgements about removing him from the pulpit. This is a carnal reaction and not supported by scripture.

    There is no one here who has enough info to make any determination about his motives, or how it should be handled.

    Any plan to address this situation should include the following:

    1. The healing of the marriage.

    2. Repentence of ungodly behavior

    3. Restitution made to all those hurt by ungodly behavior

    4. Restoration of those who repent of misbehavior

    5. The Pastor may need continuous counseling and accountability to a group of Pastors for the purpose of restoration.

    6. Forgivness offered by all parties involved once repentence has been achieved. This means to treat them as if it never happened.

    Unless it is discovered that the Pastor is sexual predator, then snatching him out of the Pastorate is inappropriate. So long as he is wiling to be accountable to a group of Pastors.
     
  10. Phillipians121

    Phillipians121 New Member

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    bapmom wrote
    I guess we don't see it that way since neither one of us felt threatened because we know our marriage is strong. I know I am strong and would never do such a thing to hurt my family and neither would my husband. I do think another person may not be as strong therefore would fall prey to whatever his bad intentions may have been.

    Yes I found it interesting and a bit flattering that he would confide such things in me because he trusted me or felt he could unload, if he meant it to be a way of advancing towards me then that is his problem not mine, my problem would be if I gave in which I NEVER did. I never asked him to stop confiding in me but in around about way steered the conversations towards what he can do to help or just ignored it and changed the subject. Maybe I am not as bold as some women and feel you just don't talk to pastors that way, by putting them in their place. I guess I am not good at that, and do feel I would have been labled if I had. I know how that works real well. It's called the UNSPOKEN RULE.

    I am sorry but I do not appreciate you or the other women trying to "help" me see the error of my ways. I never asked anyone if I did anything wrong I asked if the pastor did. If I wanted advice on my part I would have asked. I never did anyhting wrong so don't try and say I did, I know better and not only that I know the whole stroy and how it folded out you do not. The bottom line is the Pastor WAS inappropiate and was wrong no matter what I did or didn't do.
     
  11. PastorSBC1303

    PastorSBC1303 Active Member

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    So if you already knew, why did you come on here and ask?
     
  12. TaterTot

    TaterTot Guest

    Maybe we missed the intention of the original post. I think everyone would agree that the pastor spoke to you inappropriately. I thought the whole point of this thread was that you wanted to know what folks thought about it.
     
  13. PastorSBC1303

    PastorSBC1303 Active Member

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    For some reason the words of a movie keep coming to mind:

    "You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!!!!"
     
  14. Phillipians121

    Phillipians121 New Member

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    Revmitchell I agree, you are so right on this. I appreciate constructive criticism without attacks and being judgemental. I appreciate those who provide scripture too. You know what they say about opinions everyone has one. But it is only Gods word and constructive solutions that will help and is all I asked for in the first place.

    Thank You :thumbs:
     
  15. TaterTot

    TaterTot Guest

    Pastor, you are a pastor. What do you think about the issue? Should she go tell someone or just let it go?
     
    #75 TaterTot, Sep 26, 2006
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 26, 2006
  16. PastorSBC1303

    PastorSBC1303 Active Member

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    I don't think it matters because someone already has their mind made up and just wants others to justify it for her.
     
  17. Phillipians121

    Phillipians121 New Member

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    PastorSBC1303 you are awefully sarcastic for a pastor. I guess another poster was right about you. For a pastor you haven't offered much in the area of scripture or help. Just smart aleck remarks. I would expect more for a pastor if you really are one.

    I was told I could block posters who are rude and just want to argue how do you do that?
     
  18. PastorSBC1303

    PastorSBC1303 Active Member

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    You aren't interested in help. You have been given a lot of solid thoughts here. Yet you just want to be justified in your own thoughts. Good luck with that.
     
  19. TaterTot

    TaterTot Guest

    you cant on a public board, just through PM.

    I feel sarcasm and judgement coming from you when you dont think we agree with you, as per the perpetrator comments, and those stemming from you saying you have a great relationship with your husband, but then you have negative things to say about him too. We who have been here for years tend to be skeptical when a newbie comes along and starts being sharp tongued right off the bat. Did you not ask for advice? We have given it and you are mad.

    Who has said something bad about SBC?
     
  20. Phillipians121

    Phillipians121 New Member

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    pastorSBC OH now we have mind readers. We are meeting with the head elder and his wife in two days.

    Why don't you please be of help and show me how to block you since you don't have anything contructive to bring to the table. While I'm at it I see from other posts on other threads a few others.
     
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