How should Christian parents handle this

That wasn't the question. It was said, and I quote:

Would you allow your child to bring this person to your home for the holiday's or any time for that matter? Keep in mind that they would carry on just like any two people who were a couple male and female living together with the occasional touching and kissing.
​

He drove the money changers from His house with a whip. How do you think He would react to Sodom making pretenses there?

 

what if they knew the guidelines going in and agreed to NOT act as a couple while over?
Act like "just friends?"

just trying to see where can still be active in childs life, and yet not condone behaviour?

 

No problem.

 

Nope, both are not invited into Our home.

 

Just curious...

IF it was male/female relationship, not married, come over?

IF child was in drugs/alcoholic etc, come over?

Or is it IF any sin problem area, no coming over?

is there any difference in the OP IF the child is claiming to be saved or not?

 

It is not a matter of being under the law or not.

The umbrella of protection thinking is still recognized in the typical church wedding.

The father walks the bride down the isle, and when the assembly is asked "who gives the bride" is the only one to answer.

The woman does not go the the grooms house and asks permission of his father if she can marry him.

The intended male goes to the head of the home and consults with the authority(ies) as to permission. In my day, you asked if you could court a young lady before you even asked her out on a date. Going steady was being engaged without the ring of promise.

The giving of the bride is showing Paul's teaching of authority over the woman as being transferred from the father to the husband.

As far as OT marriage, well there is enough polygamous unions to not use much as a pattern. Accept for Adam, I am not certain there was an old testament marriage that one could look upon as an example of "God approved" using a term from a post.

 

I would do my best to convice them of the truth of their situation. How it will effect them and everyone else they love. I would explain that this kind of thing is not only against nature, it's against our God. I would not allow them to sleep together in my home. Just as I would not allow a normal couple to sleep together unless they are married. I would not tollerate a homosexual relationship and I would think that my children already know this to be true and would respect their families wishes.

I can't help but feel this kind of thing exist because no one has tought them the meaning of respect for them selves and there families.
MB

 

Would you even allow them into your home to witness to them?

 

IF it was male/female relationship, not married, come over?

The Scriptures teach that when a woman and man are joined together they become one. This is why the sin of adultery is the only sin that comes from within and all other sins are from without the body.

The fact that they may not have had a ceremony (public or private) doesn't really matter. I don't know if it is still true, but when I was a youth, the states had a law that if a couple lived together for a certain period of time they were considered married. It was called a "common law" marriage.



IF child was in drugs/alcoholic etc, come over?

Certainly, provided they don't think they can bring the intoxicant with them. If they showed up "under the influence" they may sit on the front porch until they are no longer "under the influence."

Intoxicants are not benign, but actively seek to change the person and personality - that is why it is called "under the influence." I know that some on the board consider some intoxicants as good, but in OUR home we look to the medical community if there is such a need.


Or is it IF any sin problem area, no coming over?

Not at all. (see below for authority of the home).


is there any difference in the OP IF the child is claiming to be saved or not?

No. I have dealt with saved and unsaved who were addicted to some intoxicant, way of life, or some other "sin."

It isn't a matter of tolerance, but of love. How does one show love to the child if their door is closed? Remember, when an intoxicant is involved, the child is under the influence and control of the intoxicant rather than our home. So the door remains closed until they are no longer under the influence.

It is not a matter of testimony or "what Christ would do"... it is a matter of protection. Our home is open to guests, acquaintances, friends, family, but it is still OUR home and those folks submit to our home rules. If you don't like the rules, the door handle is on both sides.

One does not allow anyone to plunder the home if it can be helped. A member under the control or influence of someone or something else, is not welcome until they are no longer under that influence and unless that person is willing to abide under the care and rules of our home.

 

MB, I totally agree.

But tragedy like sin is part of all our lives.

At times, the enemy will grab a person out of the home to do such dramatic destruction to testimony and family bonds.

I had a close friend who went through the very struggle. In talking one day he admitted that he has learned to "tolerate" a lot more than he ever considered he would be able to stand. He has used the pain (and all the other associated effects) to see Christ enlarge his ministry.

 

Here is a quote to help answer the question.

It is never right to do wrong, even if it gives you a chance to do right.

I will meet them at Mc D's, even buy their meal and witness to them there. One never knows if someone sitting nearby will be helped by overhearing the conversation.

Besides it is neutral territory. No one is compelled to stay or leave, and there are no "home rules" in effect.

 

That would make 'biblical" sense, as by not being in either home, you casn still love your child and support them to come to Christ, and NOT condone the behaviour!

 

I disagree with placing this kind of condemnation on the parents of adult children. If we are objective at all we will know of instances where the best, most Godly parents had children who were all raised the same with extremely different outcomes. Likewise, there are examples from my family’s history where the parents could not have been worse and could not have done a worse job short of pagan child sacrifice, and more than half of those kids grew up to be wonderful Christians, spouses and parents.

We have our biblical part to play as parents, but we should not be so presumptuous as to assume "bad parenting" when we see adults who didn't "turn out right". Plus, there is the fact that until the end we do not know all of a child's story anyway. Often we are guessing at the ending while still reading the the 3rd or 4th chapter of the book.

 

I would not allow it as stated above, but I would allow them to come over with boundaries. The "friend" would have to sleep in a different bedroom under my roof with no unnatural physical affection. There would also be the understanding that I will not sugar coat the answers when younger siblings ask questions.

Regarding the parallel between bringing illegal drugs in the house versus bring the same sex partner to the house; the difference being an illegal drug is not a human that Christ died for. Leaving aside the CvA argument over who Christ died for, there are two souls here who need to be witnessed and ministered to even while they are living in a state of sin. I would not forbid them from my home but I would insist they respect certain rules related to their behavior while in my home.

 

While I agree that we should love our children no matter what, that doesn't mean we have to love all their choices in life or accept those choices. Fortunately, both of my daughters are married to men. If one of them had decided to live with another woman as a couple, I would have told her I still loved her but that I was disappointed in her (as I did with my younger daughter when she got pregnant at age 15). I would also tell her that her partner was not welcome in my home, which would mean that my daughter would want nothing more to do with me. Oh, yes, that's right, she already told me that for other reasons. :BangHead:

 

No wonder. You may love her, but your attitude doesn't show love toward her.

 

There was a time when I was deep in rebellion. My parents love me very much. They tried to help me, they kept telling me the truth, and a day came that my father made clear that that they could no longer even appear to support me. The choice was mine, repent or lose contact with my family. I knew they waited as long as they could. I knew what the Bible said. They had to choose to follow Christ and leave me to the destruction of my flesh. It was also clear that when I repented I would be embraced like the prodigal son of Scripture.

I thank God for that. I thank God for their courage to get in my face at times. I thank God that they had the courage to (eventually) draw that hard line. Now we have a great relationship. I am there pastor. We fellowship together and serve together alot.

We cannot say we honestly love someone and let them continue in their sin unchallanged or unwarned. There is a reason for Christ's teaching:

Mat 10:37 "He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. (NASB)

 

Been There, DONE This:

My daughter has been very outgoing in her lesbian relationship, and for that reason, I will not have her to my home (with her friend - so she chooses not to visit), go out in public with her, and I've removed her from all social networks (like FB) because of her embarrassing comments and filth. It should be noted that her mom, my ex, is bi-$exual. :tear: :tear: :tear:

I chose "tough love!" I can't approve of her relationship; her disdain for God; and her throwing her relationship in my face every time she gets the chance.

BTW - she now boasts that she is engaged to be married!

Everyone must make their own decision, but as for me and my house, "We will serve and honor the Lord!"