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Immorality in Ministry

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by Victorious, Mar 5, 2009.

  1. Victorious

    Victorious Member

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    Actually, our state does not recognize Common Law marriage, so is she living in sin or married?
     
  2. John Toppass

    John Toppass Active Member
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    I can't believe this thread is still going on. Why are we even discussing the ways a church can defraud anyone else. Why were we even wondering how to handle a minister involved in such a action. ( I believe when she admitted it was going on then she should have been immediately removed in a loving way) Then you would handle just as you would a member living the state of unrepentant sin.
     
  3. Victorious

    Victorious Member

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    Seems to be a hot topic that turned onto the path of common law marriage. My experience has been that when a post goes on and on and on...there are some unresolved questions and differences of opinion. It certainly has been that. Thanks to all for the input.

    John, the reason this issue is so difficult, is that God's people continue to have empathy for the human condition. Without a doubt, we must follow the Lord in this situation but with compassion and love. We felt we should give her time to repent...unfortunately, she did not, and basically chose to ignore the issue completely, but again, due to her mental condition, it took longer than we expected. I doubt if God will hold it against us for showing mercy. Love covers a multitude of sins. This is where we are now. Thank you for your prayers.
     
  4. Martin Luther

    Martin Luther New Member

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    From my perspective she is married in Gods eyes, usually states have a time limit for common law to be holding, ours is seven years. States MUST recognize common law as legal marriage for the simple fact that it is not a CRIME to be married without a state license. The "time limit" is really a subjective point that the state could nver prove in most cases.
     
  5. Martin Luther

    Martin Luther New Member

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    ROFLOL!!!! Well sinner, maybe you feel the need to pick up a few stones also?
     
  6. ajg1959

    ajg1959 New Member

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    My sister in law is currently living with a man. She has 4 girls and he has 4 boys. (Sounds like a 70's sitcom, but this aint funny). They both claim to be devout christians....(charasmatic)....and say that they are doing what God "told" them to.

    They recently moved to Indiana al the way from Oklahoma just to go to a certain church. (The church recently allowed them to take the youth group on an outing...good example for the youth huh?) The pastor of this church has given his blessings to the arrangement and declared them "married in God's eyes".

    The only problem is this.....he is still married to another woman (in the state's eyes).

    So, if just living with a person makes us "married in God's eyes", how do you explain the fact that he is actually married to someone else?

    And, how do you actually know what is in "God's eyes"? I ask this because you are advocating that living together makes folks married "in God's eyes" and that goes completely against what the Bible teaches.

    Do you "see" through the eyes of God? Do you have divine knowledge? Are you a prophet?

    I have never understood phrases like this, they sound more like human reasoning and justification more than they do divine knowledge.

    Sorry if I sound harsh, but I really want to know how and why you "see" something that goes against the teachings of the Bible and declare it the will of God.

    AJ
     
  7. Pastor Larry

    Pastor Larry <b>Moderator</b>
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    It depends on the state you are in. But in most states as I understand it, common law marriages requiring living together for a certain amount time ... which means until that time is up you aren't married.

    The state isn't performing these services on God's behalf.

    I don't even know what that means. It is unintelligible.

    [quoteLet’s face it, there are many things we as Christians must do with or without state approval. (spanking our children comes to mind)
    [/quote]Marriage doesn't come to mind. There is no biblical command to marry. There is a biblical command to live under the laws of the state and no biblical disobedience that is brought on by doing so. So there is no biblical reason to refuse a marriage license in accord with the laws of your state. If you refuse, you are disobeying God.

    Yes, and God said to obey the laws of the state.
     
  8. Pastor Larry

    Pastor Larry <b>Moderator</b>
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    The Bible never establishes your perspective as meaningful to any standard of obedience. IOW, what you think doesn't matter.
     
  9. annsni

    annsni Well-Known Member
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    To be legally married, one does not sin. They do not need to enter into sin to proceed into marriage. In common law marriage, one must sin in order to enter in to a common law marriage. Living together without being married is not "being married in God's eyes" unless Scripture states that living together makes us married - which it does not. I love the excuses people have to get away with sin.

    My husband went on the men's retreat back in the fall and was driving with a number of men to get there. As they were talking, the subject of marriage came up and one man was newer and my husband didn't know him. My husband asked him "Joe, how long have you been married?" and the man hesitated. We know they have a number of kids and that some were from previous marriages but they have a child together. Joe finally told him that they were actually not married. That took guts to tell one of the pastors of the church that you attend that you are not married. I'm sure he was afraid to tell the truth. He later told my husband that he was ready for a lecture and rebuke but my husband just said "Don't you think you should fix that? Now that both you and Mary are saved, you have the Truth and know what's right. What's stopping you from getting married?" Joe said "Nothing" and as soon as they got back, they went for their license and were married in a matter of weeks. There was no need for condemnation - but just the truth in love and fortunately, it was very well received. What's wonderful is that this man's oldest daughter, who lives with her mom, has noticed a huge change in the house and is asking questions about God now. These two were unbelievers and were saved just a few months before the retreat - and God is doing a huge work in their lives. Just their getting legally married spoke volumes and might be the thing that will soften the heart of a daughter to the Lord. How cool is that?
     
  10. Martin Luther

    Martin Luther New Member

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    Marriage is a spiritual act performed before God. The state has nothing to do with it, the state "union" is meaningless to God and is not "marriage". It is not illegal to be married without a state license; therefore it is LEGAL to be married without a state license.




    It makes perfect sense when you see marriage as a spiritual union between two people and before God. Just wait for your salvation license, you'll be the first in line.
     
  11. Martin Luther

    Martin Luther New Member

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    No state license is required by God to be married, this is my point. It takes two people to perform a marriage, one man and one woman, no state, no preacher, no witnesses.
     
  12. annsni

    annsni Well-Known Member
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    If a state union is meaningless to God and not "marriage", then why does God tell us to follow the laws of the land? Why does Moses speak of how to divorce your wife legally? Why did Jesus speak of the woman's 5 husbands? I do not think that those were "spiritual acts performed before God" but rather were legal ceremonies that created a union. Joseph and Mary were betrothed - which is not a spiritual state before God but a legal status with laws and such regulating it.

    So where do we get from Scripture that marriage is a spiritual act performed before God and that a state union is meaningless to Him? I'd like to see the Scriptural support for that assertion.
     
  13. Pastor Larry

    Pastor Larry <b>Moderator</b>
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    I can't help but think you are missing the point. First, marriage is not only a spiritual union before God. It also deals with our relationships with other people. Second, God has commanded us to live under the laws of the state. Therefore, if your state requires a marriage license, you are sinning against God if you don't have one. Period.


    Again, I don't know what a salvation license means. I have never heard of that and don't know anybody who has. If you can explain it, then perhaps I can interact with it and understand why it is similar or dissimilar to what we are talking about here.
     
  14. Pastor Larry

    Pastor Larry <b>Moderator</b>
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    Yes, but it is a bad point.

    So two teenagers in the back seat of a car on Friday night can declare themselves to be married and they are?
     
  15. Martin Luther

    Martin Luther New Member

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    As I have said, it is not ILLEGAL so it is therefore LEGAL.
     
  16. annsni

    annsni Well-Known Member
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    It is not illegal to abort babies - therefore it is legal (and we know it is legal). However, does that make it RIGHT before God?

    I need Scriptural support to the statement that a state union means nothing before God.
     
  17. ajg1959

    ajg1959 New Member

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    Its not illegal to get drunk in the privacy of your own home.

    Its not illegal to get an abortion.

    Its not illegal to be a homosexual.

    Its not illegal to be a wiccan, or buddist, or muslim or atheist.

    What is your point?

    Lots of thing are not "illegal", that doesnt make it right to God.

    AJ
     
  18. John Toppass

    John Toppass Active Member
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    I do not recall ever saying we should stone anyone. If you would read the scripture you would find that there is a specific way to handle this type of situation. This would include loving kindness and gentleness. What to do about the situation is a no-brainer tho. Do not be so judgemental before you start name calling it just shows your immaturity in the word.
     
  19. Victorious

    Victorious Member

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    Sadly, I have found personal attacks rather than mature debate prevalent here. Quote scripture (which is the point, isn't it?) and get cyberstoned! A lot of mocking, a great deal of immaturity and lack of debate knowledge. Attack someone personally and there is no longer a debate - just argument, and I usually don't play after that. (I may continue to keep the buzzards from overtaking the carcass.)

    No, I, personally, never took your remark as anything but concern over the scriptural way to handle the situation, and my intent was certainly not to provide ammunition for the immature. I was simply responding to why the post continues.

    God bless you, brother, and thank you.
     
  20. John Toppass

    John Toppass Active Member
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    I understood your post. I also plead guilty to being somewhat stone-footed when a situation arises that is close to me but should require swift yet deliberate action. It seems that in these situations that the answer lies openly in the scripture and with prayer we can receive the wisdom to find that scripture. I would question the intent of anyone who could find any joy when handling this type of situation. My prayers are not only with you and your church but the stumbling saint in which you speak of. While she may have destroyed her ministry position, I hope she can be lifted up to full fellowship in a loving church. She has only yielded to a weakness and we all have weaknesses.
     
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