Implications of Common Law Marriage

I know you are talking to DonnA, but I wanted to comment.

First of all, most states do not recognize common law marriages.

Secondly, those that do usually require the couple to live together for several years before being recognized. It's not a clear-cut thing at all and can be easily contested. Third, if it is possible to get married in a church and in the eyes of the law, is this not the best way for Christians to model and witness marriage to the culture?

It seems very strange and unbibical and a bad witness for a Christian couple to live together for several years waiting for their union to be considered common law marriage (in states that allow this). And in this case, it is still up to the state. So why not just get married in the first place in the regular fashion?

 

My state does not have common law marriage, even if you were considered married by common law in another state you would not be here.
In my research I found it to be as Marcia stated, a couple must live together for several years, varies by state, before being considered married, means for those years they were not married by common law, but only shacking up. Next most laws require that during this time the couple tell people they are married, meaning they must lie about it, they can not tell anyone they are not married, if they do, the common law marriage is voided.
It is a bad christian witness for two 'christians' to shack up without marriage. no one will take them seriously as they are living like the world, with no difference between them and the world.
I thought christians were supose to be against people just living together. Apparently, now christians support the sin of living together, and even participate in it.

once again,,,

http://www.ncsl.org/programs/cyf/commonlaw.htm
notice they are required by law to lie.

http://www.expertlaw.com/library/family_law/common_law.html

again notice they are required by law to lie, if they want to be considered to be married by common law, they also must live together 1 year before being married by common law, thats 1 years of simply shacking up the sake fo shacking up, all the while lying about it. Sounds real christian doesn't it.

 

sorry a double post

 

sex outside of marriage is condemned by God too isn't it? As I ahve shown, people who want to be married by common law must lie for 1 year about being married already, and live together for that one year as husband and wife before they are actually married by common law, meaning 1 year no marriage of any kind, just sex.
Sounds real christian doesn't it.

 

The present situation in America is very different from Israel when the NT was written.

 

First, thanks for the comments. I'm not looking for state requirements. I am looking for biblical requirements.

Again, this is the state requirements.

Is it the best way to model marriage? What if the "law" allows for divorce in any circumstance? What if the Chrisitans that were married "in the eyes of the law", get divorced in "the eyes of the law"? Has that marriage been dissolved biblically?

Rather than be a witness, it looks like biblical marriage has been compromised by the culture.

I'm not so concerned about the "regular fashion" as I am about the biblical fashion.

It seems to me the "regular fashion" leads regularly to divorce.

peace to youraying:

 

Let me ask you a question. Suppose a Christian man and a Christian woman fall in love. They are committed to doing everything according to scripture. Search as they may, they cannot find any commandment in scripture to go to a church to "get married". They can't find any passage of scripture that gives a pastor the authority to proclaim them "married".

What they do find are passages that speak of God joining a man and a woman together. So, after much prayer, they stand before Almighty God and declare their love for each other and desire to be man and wife. They believe with all their hearts that indwelling Holy Spirit has confirmed to them that God has blessed their union.

They inform their family and friends that they are married, and they live together, starting a family.

Now, can you show me from scripture any passage that would support your contention that they are not married?

And please, don't tell me the state has to recognize a marriage before it is legitimate.

peace to youraying:

 

Ya'll all live in the wrong state. Being from Alabama let me explain how our law works.

Man and woman move in together and call themselves husband and wife in the presence of two witnessee(not necessarily at the same time) ARE husband and wife from that moment on. There is no lying involved. No waiting period for the state to recognize the marriage. They are for all practical purposes married. This is a right we have in this state where for the most part we agree to live and let live. There are other more important things to worry about than whether or not our state government recognizes each and every marriage.

As someone has already suggested, God viewed as married a man and a woman who had left their childhood families and began one of their own. I have no problem with that. Not sure why anyone else would except we are so steeped in the traditions of man that we can't see the truth for the veil in front of our eyes.

Now if you want you marriage recognized by the state (and yes mine is) so be it. But OUR state allows us to be recognized or not be recognized. I am always for more rights when no harm will be done to another. Child support and other laws will still apply. How do I know? Family experience. I have a vast family and the particular instance of a divorce among familiy members married by common laws has come up. One of my uncles paid alimony for several years as well as child support.

You really can't support a ban against common law marriage by scripture or secular rule here in AL. Shacking by the way, is a totally different event.

 

Living together and having sex without being married is the samething no mater what you call it.

 

I am not an advocate of "common law" or any other means that people use to excuse their sin. My mom said it best... "If it ain't worth a ring it ain't worth a thing." People today shack up and are "protected" by using common law as their alibi even if their state does not recognize it.

As far as a church is concerned, common law marriages are a part of common law and not the church. A common law couple is no different than a couple of teenagers knocking boots in the back of his daddy's Ford. It is still two people fornicating outside of the bounds of marriage as they have never made public vows and are free to walk away at a moment's notice.

True, the bible does not say, "Thou shalt have a huge wedding and exchange vows and rings in the midst of the congregation." But neither does Paul or Peter say fornication is bad... unless you are common law. In the OT, the man went in to the woman and she became his wife... but men didn't just walk away from their marriages, either.

Marriages were performed in the bible, though. Jesus turned water into wine at a marriage party. Moses said that a man newly married should stay home for the first year. Jesus said that God despises divorce and there is no divorce without a marriage.

 

i just can't understand why they wouldn't WANT to get married in a church. Tradition can be a good thing. Why wouldn't they want to exchange vows in front of a minister, God, and their friends and family. This is a very important event in a person's life. Why not celebrate it?

 

Marriage was recognized by society long before the church existed. It was recognized as a legal civil union long before it was ever a religious ceremony.

 

The biblical requirements are to follow the laws, unless they violate scripture, not to try to go around the laws.

Just because a couple can get legally divorced for the wrong reasons biblically, it does not logically follow that a couple can "marry" themselves in front of God when they know good and well they can do it legally and with a pastor.

Laws about marriage are made by the state. Just because some of them may be flawed does not mean Christians should avoid a legal marriage. Following the laws does not mean that the state is our ultimate standard, but if for nothing else, it should be done for the sake of our witness and for legal protection for any children that come along (as well as spousal protection in the case of death).

 

:thumbs: Well said.

peace to youraying:

 

You're missing the point. They believe they are proceding in a biblical way.

If you can't persuade them with scripture, and you think to persuade them with "do what the traditions say to do"....how is that different from the Catholics?

peace to youraying:

 

Where they were married in the eyes of God, not by a pastor, not of government or tradition or society or culture.

peace to youraying:

 

This hypothetical couple searched the scriptures for the biblical standard. They are convinced the culture has so corrupted the institution of marriage that to participate would be to legitimize an injustice against the institution of marriage given by Almighty God. They believe their conscience bears witness they are doing the right thing by not participating in the cultural destruction of biblical marriage.

Can you show them from scripture that they are in error?

Not a biblical argument.

More secular arguments. Where is your opinion supported in scripture?

peace to youraying: