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In fairness to the guys....

Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor (Clean)' started by Amy.G, Mar 31, 2009.

  1. Amy.G

    Amy.G New Member

    Sep 25, 2006
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    Ok guys, I wanted to be fair and post something just for you! :)

    We always hear "the rules" From the female side......

    Now here are the rules from the male side. ....

    These are our rules!

    Men are NOT mind readers.

    Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    Sunday sports, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    Crying is blackmail.

    Ask for what you want ....

    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

    If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

    If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one
    of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

    You can either ask us to do something ....
    Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say
    during commercials..

    Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color.
    Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    If it itches,
    it will be scratched. We do that.

    If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
    Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.. Really .

    Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Hockey.

    You have enough clothes.
    You have too many shoes.

    I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

    Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
    tonight; ....

    But did you know men
    really don't mind that? It's like camping.


    (FTR, my husband has NEVER spent the night on the couch, but I have :D)
  2. ReformedBaptist

    ReformedBaptist Well-Known Member

    Aug 7, 2007
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    hahaha...that was awesome.
  3. Revmitchell

    Revmitchell Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    Feb 18, 2006
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  4. Amy.G

    Amy.G New Member

    Sep 25, 2006
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    #4 Amy.G, Apr 1, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 1, 2009
  5. Carolina Baptist

    Carolina Baptist Active Member

    Jul 28, 2003
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  6. Plain Old Bill

    Plain Old Bill New Member

    Dec 30, 2003
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    What is so great about that is that it is largely true.:tonofbricks: