Just A Question About Funerals

It is my experience that the family is charged by the funeral home for an honorarium for the officiant of the memorial service. If the family paid the funeral home, the funeral should pay the officiant.

I have always requested that my honorarium be placed in the memorial fund designated by the family (usually their local church).

 

I'm not sure there is a normal, but I don't think it is related to your being retired. Around here, most of the time, any donation come directly from the family -- or it doesn't come at all. I don't charge for funerals, and don't expect anything, but a thank-you card is always nice in order to know what you did was appreciated.

 

Years ago I did a lot of funerals. Apparently, I was the "go to" guy that the funeral homes would call for unchurched families in my little Central Texas town where I pastored a small church. I would always accept and work hard to support the family and walk them through the process of giving their loved one a dignified and gospel-centered burial.

I never asked for any money to do it, since I was in that town to minister and would tell the family that when/if the subject came up. At the same time, I was always given something by the family, according to what they could afford. I was barely getting by at the time, eating a lot of peanut butter and beans for meals because I couldn't afford to have meat more than a few times a week, but God provided for me through the gifts from the families.

Beyond funerals for family members, there has only been one time I was not given anything for a funeral and that was for the funeral of one of my closest friend's father. The family could barely afford the funeral costs and I made a point that I would not accept anything from them.

My attitude is, serve the families and grieving and don't expect anything from them. Therefore, whether you get paid or not won't be an issue. God looks after His children.

 

so, you should talk to the funeral home about it if it bothers you.