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learning to deal with boyfriends past sexual sins

Discussion in 'Youth Forum' started by URGALPAL, Apr 22, 2003.

  1. TurboMike

    TurboMike New Member

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    Just my 2 cents... I can tell for a fact that the majority of guys extrememly exaggerate thier sex lives. this may or may not be the case. Never the less, if he is truly saved and you feel God has placed you two together you will have to work past it. How? I don't know. If i knew you and/or him personally it would be helpful. I would like to say that i am EXTREMELY pleased that you are burdened by this (hope that don't sound mean) because I see so many youth that thing sex is just "something you do".

    May God bless you continually.
     
  2. URGALPAL

    URGALPAL New Member

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    thank you so much turbo mike.....I did not take that as being mean at all. Infact, it was a real relief to hear that someone thought it was good that I am burdened over this. I think it is something I should be burdened over. Like you said most young people dont think pre marital sex is a big deal, and it is. I just have to learn to let it go and forgive him.....it's just hard because i have such strong personal convictions against it. Thanks again for understanding and agreeing with my views. [​IMG]
     
  3. URGALPAL

    URGALPAL New Member

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    oh and I forgot to tell you guys I was open and honest with my boyfriend and he is now an official member on baptist board.....I dont think he has posted yet though. I thought it would be better for both of us to be in this together. [​IMG]
     
  4. areacode734

    areacode734 New Member

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    Hi there, this is the terrible boyfriend...I think that there are a couple of things that haven't been said here...first of all I didn't tell her bragging in any way...I told her about my past because she asked me about it and I felt like I should be honest, since she said that she didn't want to date anyone that she couldn't see herself marrying...I personally feel the same way and didn't want to hide anything and have it come out later when were so attached...

    second of all, I am ashamed about my past, and she should know that...she was with me at the bookstore when I purchased a book dealing with that exact subject...I struggle a lot with what I have done because I know that it was not the way God intended it to be...

    and third and most important is the fact that I HAVE repented and asked God for forgiveness for my sins...unfortunately, I can't go back in time and change the past, but I CAN make sure that I don't make the same mistakes again. Geoff
     
  5. URGALPAL

    URGALPAL New Member

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    i guess since i am a more emotional person I expect to be able to tell that he regrets it (truely) when i am sad you can tell.....if i am mad you can tell....when i am happy you can tell...Geoff is just not like that. :rolleyes:
     
  6. URGALPAL

    URGALPAL New Member

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    i guess since i am a more emotional person I expect to be able to tell that he regrets it (truely) when i am sad you can tell.....if i am mad you can tell....when i am happy you can tell...Geoff is just not like that. :rolleyes:
     
  7. areacode734

    areacode734 New Member

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    I am a different person and I may not display emotion in the same way that you or your ex-boyfriends do...but, that doesn't change the way that I feel about you or about my past wrong-doings...there has honestly been a change in my heart recently and it has made me realize even more, how much you mean to me, and I want to make sure that you know that.
     
  8. Preacher Nathan Knight

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    I think both of you should sit down and have a good talk about your feelings for each other and where you both stand in the relationship. It is important that this discussion does not turn into an arguement. After you have talked things through, yall need to pray together that God will bless your relationship as He sees fit to and just leave it in His hands. What is meant to be will be. [​IMG]
     
  9. areacode734

    areacode734 New Member

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    I think we've gotten past the arguing (I hope)...I have nothing to argue with her about...I made mistakes in the past and will not make them again...I can't upset with her for not having made the same mistakes and having a problem with the fact that I did...
     
  10. Thankful

    Thankful <img src=/BettyE.gif>

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    Welcome to the board, AreaCode743.

    After reading your post, I just may have to change my opinion of you. [​IMG] You sound very sincere in wanting to change and in your relationship with URGALPAL.

    Pastor Nathan Knight has given you both some very good advice. I hope you will follow it. After you have discussed your relationship with each other, it might be good to
    visit with your pastor so that he can guide you.
     
  11. TheTravelingMinstrel

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    Makes me glad that i don't have a 'sexual' past [​IMG]
     
  12. blush

    blush New Member

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    ... ouch!

    Besides, it's not like any of you can say you've NEVER been guilty of lust. Why the distinction?
     
  13. TheTravelingMinstrel

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    hehe, i actually considered that when i posted. It's a constant battle to remain spirtually pure.
    I'm just being grateful for all that the Lord has saved me from. Do not be so quick to pick apart peoples statements
     
  14. TheTravelingMinstrel

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    Scripture says that if a man looks lustfully at a women, he has already commited adultry with her in his heart.

    So, we shouldn't minimalize it. But it's wrong to say 'make no distinction', because lust and fornication are different.
    'adultry with her in his heart', not physical fornication. So, we should treat lust as a sexual sin, but not to be equal to actual fornication.

    Ok, that's enough posts on a female thread for me.
     
  15. blush

    blush New Member

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    Sin is sin... lust or extramarital sex, it is still sin. The only differences in my mind are the natural consequences of your actions.
     
  16. TheTravelingMinstrel

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    lust is lust
    and fornication is fornication
    Yes, they are both sins and equally offensive to God.
    But as far as them being exactly the same thing, they are not. And I am grateful that God spared me of fornication
     
  17. URGALPAL

    URGALPAL New Member

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    i agree, whole heartedly with travel. Fornication is just as affensive to God as lust. Fornication does, however affect a lot more people. ;)
     
  18. TheTravelingMinstrel

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    honestly, I don't think anyone can get through life w/o thinking lustful thoughts.

    A girl that I meet in the future, I doubt she'll say i had a 'sexual' past because I thought lustfully. She'd just assume that I have done so. And I would assume that she has also and just trust that the other is fighting the sinful desires and not giving into them. [​IMG]

    Lust, it's a sin, and equal with all sins. It is related to fornication but it is not fornication itself.
     
  19. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    URGALPAL;

    Your posts hit close to home for me. I am a never married chick. I have chosen to remain a virgin until I am married. Whenever that long awaited day is. And I am not getting younger. I am already pretty close to way old and shoulda woulda coulda been married at half my age. I feel it is a God calling for me to remain pure until marriage. Why, sometimes, I don't know. Sometimes I wish I could say "to heck with it." But I have yet to suffer the consequences of remaining pure. Except for wondering. But those aren't harsh consequences.

    I have gone out with men before, men of all varieties. I have never seriously gone out with a man who was impure, with the motives of marriage.

    I am interested in a man now, more seriously than I have ever been interested in a man before. He is a Christian, definitely now a man of God. He believes in teaching abstinance in schools and handles himself very well around the women, with due respect and never in a sexual feeding frenzy. In all of my dealings with me, there never has been a question in my mind of his intentions nor of any inappropriateness sexually. Nor have I seen any unfaithfulness in him.

    We aren't officially dating, and have not arrived at getting to sexual questions for me to feel ready to ask that question about his virginity--I deeply want to believe that he is a virgin. If he is not, he has been faithful in the years I have known him.

    The reason I have question was because he was in the drug scene before, and many have told me that you cannot remain sexually pure in the drug scene.

    So where would one go from here in this relationship???
     
  20. christfollower55

    christfollower55 New Member

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    I am a 20 year old christian. I have made three people a promise that i will save myself until marriage.

    1.) Myself
    2.) My Parents
    3.) God

    I am glad that God has given me the strength no to have a sexual past.

    God Bless America
     
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