legalism help 2

Hello,
Thanks for all your replies. there is more information i can give to apply a better picture.
The Church has only 50 people. Per. the Pastor no "official" members yet. As i stated on my last reply, there was 2 more members w/ same type of issues. One other issue is i don't like how he calls all the other people who have left the Church "neo's". I asked him do u go out and talk w/ these people who have stopped attending?
he stated no, and then stated some type of comment i did not like. I cant remember exactly what? so i will not state. The Pastor has mentioned to us 3-4 time he has a temper. i haven't seen it, but another has, and it did upset them. also when he made a statement how he would like to take a bat to another Pastor for treating a person who he had personally sent there b/c this Pastor was not very welcoming.

What i am searching for i guess is this.. Am i being to critical?(i have prayed) Let me give u a brief summery of my life as a fundamental child growing up in a Fundamental Christian schools.

Golden State Christian Academy k-4 (i'm 38 by the way) i was always being punished either from play time, to no lunch time, to spankings! why? we had a demerit system. I would get the punishments on compiled violations from missing a belt loop, 1 hair touching my ear, forgetting to say yes mam/sir to no mam/sir, and for not standing up when an adult enters a class room. I got one spanking b/c the Pastor walked in from behind while i was taking a test, and i didnt see him. From then on i always was looking over my back, and was very scared. Then i stated getting demerits b/c i kepts looking around, and not concentrating on my work. I will never forget the sound of that big Paddle Bam! it echoed through out the hole school, and specially the sound when i knew it was my sister.
Through the Lords help my parents seen the wrong, so" they pulled us out of the school, and we were all branded sinners, and that we were going to hell! Golden State Baptist church (Fundamental)
there was 2 other churches in my past that that had closed their doors due to extreme legalistic views. As far as the death of my father. When u watch you're father age 53 die very slowly of cancer, and when your there hand in hand,and hand on cheast to feel his last heart beat, and to witness such a spiritual transition was sooo...?
even the Hospice nurse was sooo taken she accepted Jesus as her personal savior. like i stated i shared this w/ my Pastor, and the wonderful song the allowed allowed me to find. (WISHING U WERE HERE) as anyone heard it? but i guess my Pastor thought it was for bars. I forgive him..but my human part of me hurts still.

Thank You... to all you wonderful brother, and sisters in Christ for all the replies, and advice God Bless you, and your families.
Joseph...
Note..I'm in a big hurry i dind't meantion VCA Christian Academy 7-9 it also closed for the same reasons
P.S. sorry for all the typo's was typing in a hurry didn't double check.lol bad typer...