Male submission to women

I've answered this, in principle, before, so please excuse me if this sounds repetitive. A husband's spiritual role of headship does not consist of arbitrarily telling the wife to do something, and expecting her to comply. Likewise, a wife's spiritual role of submission does not consist of having to comply with any order the husband gives her. These are both abuses of the spiritual roles of headship and submission. In other words, the wife is not in rebellion is she does not "do" everytime the husband tell her.

If the husband tells his wife to dye her hair blue, she is not scripturally required to comply, even though dying one's hair blue is not a sin.

If the husband tells the wife to walk around the house in the nude during the day when at home, she is not required to comply, even though this is not a sin.

If the husband tells the wife she must only eat raw eggs and beef brains, she is not required to comply, even though her eating raw eggs and beef brains is not a sin.

If the husband tells her wife she may not speak in his presence, she is not required to comply, even though her not speaking in his presence is not a sin.

If her husband tell her she must use corn cobs instead of toilet paper, she is not required to comply, even though using corn cobs instead of toilet paper is not a sin.

 

Tim, I haven't had the time to go back and read everything, I'm 56 yrs old and I had to give up my nursing career because of Parkinson's Disease but I am taking an online study for Legal Nurse Consulting so that I can still keep my nursing license up and work at home so please forgive me for not being able to take the time to read everything. You asked the question about Sarah calling Abraham lord. This is what it says in 1Pet.3. I don't think it means we are to say lord husband or lord Tim but to be respectful of our husbands, something that some of us have a hard time doing when we feel we are not being treated as we should be. I do believe - because the Bible says it - that husbands are to be our spiritual leaders and I do not believe that wives are supposed to be the controlling vessel in a marriage BUT I do believe that the husband should consider the wife and discuss things with her since she is his helpmate. In my own marriage we are having this problem. Both of us carry alot of baggage from our first marriages and he was married to a controlling woman and I was married to a controlling man so it's like neither one of us wants to give. I am not saying my husband is not a good man, because he is. He has accepted my taking custody of my granddaughter and treated her like his own. But he has also been selfish and gone away on a trip at a time when I really needed him at home. I had sick parents that I was trying to help with, working full time and was just taking custody of my granddaughter. He had, had this trip planned for some time and ordinarily I would not have cared but I really needed him at home. I practically begged him to come home but he was determined not to and was gone about 10 days. That did something to destroy my trust and love in him. So now it's hard for me to just SUBMIT. He is not real demanding about anything but when he gets it in his mind that his way is the best, there is no changing his mind. So you see women get frustrated and I think this is why the verse in the Bible about submission is a very delicate subject to discuss. My marriage is not very good right now, and I don't know if it's fixable. We are getting counseling, partly because of the depression that I have had, and some other personal things that have gone one in my life, but also because WE needed counseling. I know I am rambling but if husbands and wives would truly work together and love each other and Keep the ROMANCE alive no matter how old you are, then there would be less divorces and the marriages would be more like the Bible teaches us it should be. Tim, I did read the first thread and the person who wrote it seemed to think that because she submitted, he should to and sometimes it's alright but it is not for the woman to be over the man - that I believe. I don't believe woman are supposed to be preachers - teachers yes, but not preachers. I don't believe it's Biblical but then that's another whole topic. I am just trying to say that the man should be in control of his family, their well being , their spiritual well being and have patience with it all. Boy, I'm glad I'm not a man, Ya'll have alot to do!

 

Tim, I haven't had the time to go back and read everything, I'm 56 yrs old and I had to give up my nursing career because of Parkinson's Disease but I am taking an online study for Legal Nurse Consulting so that I can still keep my nursing license up and work at home so please forgive me for not being able to take the time to read everything. You asked the question about Sarah calling Abraham lord. This is what it says in 1Pet.3. I don't think it means we are to say lord husband or lord Tim but to be respectful of our husbands, something that some of us have a hard time doing when we feel we are not being treated as we should be. I do believe - because the Bible says it - that husbands are to be our spiritual leaders and I do not believe that wives are supposed to be the controlling vessel in a marriage BUT I do believe that the husband should consider the wife and discuss things with her since she is his helpmate. In my own marriage we are having this problem. Both of us carry alot of baggage from our first marriages and he was married to a controlling woman and I was married to a controlling man so it's like neither one of us wants to give. I am not saying my husband is not a good man, because he is. He has accepted my taking custody of my granddaughter and treated her like his own. But he has also been selfish and gone away on a trip at a time when I really needed him at home. I had sick parents that I was trying to help with, working full time and was just taking custody of my granddaughter. He had, had this trip planned for some time and ordinarily I would not have cared but I really needed him at home. I practically begged him to come home but he was determined not to and was gone about 10 days. That did something to destroy my trust and love in him. So now it's hard for me to just SUBMIT. He is not real demanding about anything but when he gets it in his mind that his way is the best, there is no changing his mind. So you see women get frustrated and I think this is why the verse in the Bible about submission is a very delicate subject to discuss. My marriage is not very good right now, and I don't know if it's fixable. We are getting counseling, partly because of the depression that I have had, and some other personal things that have gone one in my life, but also because WE needed counseling. I know I am rambling but if husbands and wives would truly work together and love each other and Keep the ROMANCE alive no matter how old you are, then there would be less divorces and the marriages would be more like the Bible teaches us it should be. Tim, I did read the first thread and the person who wrote it seemed to think that because she submitted, he should to and sometimes it's alright but it is not for the woman to be over the man - that I believe. I don't believe woman are supposed to be preachers - teachers yes, but not preachers. I don't believe it's Biblical but then that's another whole topic. I am just trying to say that the man should be in control of his family, their well being , their spiritual well being and have patience with it all. Boy, I'm glad I'm not a man, Ya'll have alot to do! </font>[/QUOTE]Hello Bonnie, sounds like you have a plate full! We agree I think on the head of the household. It is a tough call both for the man and the wife. Lets face it our flesh does not want to adhere to the word.
The ideal couple is that the husband is faithful, loving and puts his wife in a special of place. As a helpmate and gift from God. To be cherished and honored. And the wife has only to submit to this type of a person. But, alas the truth of the matter is that we are human, not yet perfect. My conclusion on this subject is that God has laid out authority, and the way people in authority act but does not excuse one party because the other does not act "godly". For intance the government is, does and support alot of ungodly principles but do I refuse to obey all government laws and ord. because of that, nope. I follow what I can that is not against God. Same in all authority ship, wife and husband, child and parents, government and citizens, etc. That is what scripture teaches. We show our faith in God and His word by obeying even if it seems unjust or unfair. We show that we are trusting God and taking Him at His word when we do that. Jut like Joeshpus, he was mistreated by his brothers, by government and yet he trusted God and did not cry this is unfair. What happens is we try to think up scenios where the word of God doesn't count, or seems unfair and start leaning towards our own wisedom. Thats when attitudes and despair set in.
Some on here have labeled me a control freak, I think, but they do not know my heart. I am just saying what seems oh so clear in scripture even though it is hard. But when it says to do it, gives the reason why and what the outcome is to be, then I have to believe it and preach it. There are many times that I do not want the responsebility of the leader. I would rather let my wife, who is quite capable, then take the effort and time to lead. HOwever that is a sin for me to do so. You mention an incident where your husband left on a trip in a time of need. When I was younger I spent much of my time playing ball. Basketball, softball all year long, almost every night. It was time that I should have spent with my new, young wife. I think she had every reason (from a wordly stand pt.) to leave me. But stayed with me and kept close to the Lord and here we are 25 years later and still married. It wasn't that I hated her, I was just being selfish. But you know what, I see the sacrifice she has made in being my wife. I seen how her love for the Lord kept her strong and faithful. It lead to my salvation 5 years ago. Been in church all my life, attended bible college, deacon, teacher, youth leader, you know the routine and was not saved! But I seen a love in her that was not human and actually saw God through her. It made me realize I was not saved. This is actually a picture of what scripture talks about in being faithul to the word and God. Some on here just don't get it. They are being selfish. I deserve to be treated this way etc, well guess what, Christ was not treated the way he should have been. As the savoir, without sin, blameless yet He submitted Himself to the will of the father and the those who hung Him on the cross. The outcome of course was victory. So it is ugly good (Christ had to die on the cross) but good that the world now has a savoir.
I ramble, but I do feel for you Bonnie and appriciate you sharing on this post. I will be praying for you and your husband. My faith is in God, nothing is impossible for Him. Things WILL work out for the good of those that love Him!

God Bless you Bonnie,
In Christ
Tim

 

Thank you so much Tim, your words of wisdom will not be taken lightly and I do appreciate your prayers.
God Bless you too!
Bonnie