Married to a catholic... Please Help!

RE: the OP:

First, focus on the things that you can commonly agree on. While there are significant things we will disagree with Catholics, there are some with which we can agree. You can read the scriptures together and pray (to the Lord), and seek the guidance of God.

Second, keep in mind that there are catholics who are all over the map theologically, just as there are Baptists. Not all members of either church believe the tents of their own church. Some catholics and baptists trust Jesus as savior, some don't.

Third, work out major decisions over time. Your relationship with your wife should come first, so keep that intact, and then work out decisions about the kids in a loving way over time.

 

I may differ here with the most responses, but You are now "one" flesh, so make the best of it. There is a way you and her can work together for the sake of your children and marriage, and I know this from experience in my own family.

1Cr 6:16What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.

I had to go to Michigan to take part in a funeral of a Catholic mother. The priest took care of the funeral at the church and I had a small service at the grave site. A few years later, not too long ago, I had to go back to Michigan to preach the husband's funeral.

She was banned from the Catholic church in the taking of communion, but yet she remained a member. The couple had a wonderful life and she was the most "humble" person I have ever met in my life. She attended our Baptist services all the time, but he never went to the Catholics.

My advice is to consider each other always and make your marriage work, for in God's eyes you are joined together, if I understand scripture. She is of your flesh and you of hers now, so let her worship as she wants and you continue to worship in the Baptist faith. If you can stay together, it pleases God and I guarntee you when you grow old, you will be so thankful you stayed together and did the best you could concerning this situation.

If she cares enough, she will let you take the children to a Baptist church and you likewise will have to let her take them with her. Don't forget that God plays a great role in this, and the children will have been exposed to both religeons and will make a choice on their own. I know the Catholic may sprinkle them, but all they are doing is getting them wet, when they come to "really" know God, they will make their own choice.

I will pray for you and you pray also,

BBob,

 

Brother Bob, I couldn't disagree more. You're telling this man to LET his wife continue in the sin of idolatry? Is this what you're saying?

 

I am saying it is her choice and not his. He don't let her do nothing when it comes to serving the Lord, that is an individual thing. There is a much greater chance of convincing her that idolatry is wrong by staying together. There are other things to consider also, like three small children. You honestly think Jesus would advise him to put her away. I do not!!!

I believe scripture!

1Cr 7:13And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

Salvation is between her and the Lord, not her husband. She has the same chance as you or me has. I can't believe anyone would suggest to this couple to separate, that would be absolute foolishness. Scripture says to "love thy neighbor", you don't put your neighbor away, no matter what their belief is, yet you want this couple to separate. I do not believe that would be a Christian act. IMO

BBob,

 

Help and advice from your own local church?

Here we are, scattered around the world (well, OK, most of you are scattered around the United States ), trying to give advice to you, Bruce, who joined the board only yesterday, so the vast majority of us know very little about you (yet!). Small wonder then that we are sidetracked into debates about a poster's age (or lack of it :laugh: ), how old Timothy was when Paul told him not to let anyone despise his youth, and so on. I would like to encourage you (if you have not done so already) to talk the whole matter through with his pastor at New Salem Baptist Church (your home church), who knows (or should know) you and your marital situation far better than any of us. As a former Roman Catholic, maybe you are reticent about going to anyone who could be seen in any way as analogous to your former Roman Catholic priest, but really you should not be.

 

Brother Bob,

Who indicated that the man should leave his wife?

 

What other recourse would he have, if not my suggestion.

Bbob,

 

Simply letting her continue in her sin by "accepting" it defeats the purpose of staying together to be a Christian witness as defined in 1 Corinthians 7:16.

 

Are you letting everyone that you witness to continue in their sin if they are not converted. You seem to imply there is some way another person can save someone. I'm sure the wife has a mind of her own, and as Brother Bob has stated, he is not letting her do anything, she is choosing herself. Maybe when you get a wife of your own, all of this will become clear! :laugh:

 

1 Corinthians 7:16 - "For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?"

PS - I guarantee you I won't have this problem, sir.

 

Of course, you shouldn't. You are already a Christian and I trust you will obey the command of not being unequally yoked. You seem to contradict yourself. You quote the above scripture and then you say something to the effect that he is accepting her sin, like the alternative is to break the bond between them. If they love each other, they will be able to find some common ground and mutual respect. That is not agreeing with her, that is loving her, as Christ also commanded in His Word. Once these fundamentals are established he has the opportunity to win her by his actions and Christ like love instead of words and strong arm tactics.

 

When I was 12 years old I started taking catechism until I was 14, just decided it was not for me. I am married to a catholic who does not pray to Mary or believe in transubstantiation. We talk Bible all the time. I am positive she is a born again Christian. I think you will find the catholic church is all over the board on some things depending on which order either the priests or nuns come out of that are doing the preaching and/or the teaching. Catholics are not all walking in lockstep. In fact now a days it is very common to find catholics having home Bible studies in groups. You will even find catholics who place the Bible over church history and tradition as well as over the popes words, because they do read and study the Bible, something which was very uncommon 40 years ago.

I would say husband love your wife even as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it. See if you can get a Bible study going with your wife and read from a catholic Bible as well as a good translation of the "protestant" Bible. Do not become defensive or combative in your studies, you can agree to disagree. You both will be amazed at how simular the Bibles are to each other and how much you have in common. You can work from there.:godisgood:

 

Brother Bob said:

Letting her worship as she wants will be accepting her sin. You should never just allow someone to continue in sin -- or other words, accept it. I didn't contradict myself on any terms. Perhaps you should reread why I said what I did. It basically wasn't to him, rather to Bob. As far as I know, the man did not 'accept' her sin.

 

It really isn't too difficult a situation if you are patient. I was raised Baptist and my wife was raised Catholic. After she started attending just a few Baptist Churches, she started to see what a huge difference there is. She began to see how Baptist follow the Bible scripturally in sermons etc...and not just rituals with nowhere in the Bible to back up their beliefs etal. Ie praying to Mary, Salvation thru works etc. It took some time(not too long) but she started to see the difference immediately. Now you could approach this by agreeing to go to some Catholic services in return for her going to Baptist. This will help you also because it makes you realize the truth from rituals.raying:

 

I'm not really sure why it should be "killing" you or hurting your marriage. It's better to focus on commonality. You're both Christian. You both believe that Jesus is messiah. You both put emphasis on the bible and bible study. What seems to be bugging you is the details. Praying to Mary, saints ect... Note that catholics don't equate praying to Mary and Saints as worship. If you study christian history the Iconoclast and Iconodule battle was already fought over in the church with the final outcome that representations dipicting persons or events were not the same as pegan idol worship.
Catholics actually have a good moral base and compatable with yours. Maybe a bit more stringent (ie birth control ect...). However, if Jesus is your focus then consider this. Husbands lay down your lives as Christ has given himself to the church. And remember that Jesus wants us to be humble for if you want to be great in God's kingdom then you must be the servant of all.
And yes pray and yeild to God.

 

Since when is someone who worships idols, prays to the dead, prays to man, believe man is of spiritual authority (Pope) and all the other santanic activities the catholics do -- are considered Christian?


"For false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shew signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect." -Mark 13:22

 

I will start by saying I'm not catholic and that I am a poor representative of their beliefs but I know a little and will attempt to share it so that you may understand that they too are christian.

Boy many things we can go over. Not the least some real history lessons. Catholics do not claim to worship idols. They have statues and pictures. They don't worship statues or pictures but they represent something. The early church had this discussion way back with the Iconoclast/Iconodule debate. We have a flag that we say the pledge to. You can say we worship it but we dont. It represents our ideals.
As far as praying to the dead they would say that they are speaking with members of the body of christ. Just because a christian is dead doesn't mean they are no longer a part of the body and are asking them to intersede much like we do when we ask one another to pray for us. The catholics do not believe the dead have inherent power of their own. (I admit this is strange.)
Their idea about Peter comes from their understanding of "on this rock I will build my church". The Pope or the Bishop of Rome is under the authority of scripture and church tradition.
Now I noticed your little thing about the KJV. Good Translation but I hope you're not one of those baptist that believe the KJV is the version Jesus used! My question to you is this: How did we get the bible? The earliest christians used the LXX which is the greek translation of the Jewish OT. Jerome (who is decidedly catholic) translated exant writings of his day (hebrew aramaic and LXX) in to the common latin or the vulgar latin or latin vulgate. KJV was commissioned by the King of England in the 1600. Where did they translate these verisons from? Do you know? How did the NT become established and by who. You have more from Catholics than you know!
How well do you know about the scriptures themselves? Did you know that the book of Jude quoted from Jewish apocolyptic literature called the book of Enoch?
Did the apostles refer to apocryphal literature in their writings? Do you know? How well do you understand church history? Before for you judge people to be satanic understand what you're talking about.
What must you believe to be saved? Jesus is the son of the living God. Jesus is God Jesus provides salvation. Catholics believe this. You may not understand their faith.

 

Actually, I Am Blessed 18 (Sue) didn't use the Scripture in 'any context', Biblically, but merely cited it. I cannot and do not try and speak for any other BB Member, but fully assure you that I certainly do not have a problem with any 17 (the age of Brother Shane), 27, 37 (near the age of Bruce Baptist and Thinkingstuff), 47, 57 (near the age of EdSutton, David Lamb and Cutter), 67 (near the age of Brother Bob), 77, 87, or any other age standing up for the Word of God, and Biblical principles. I admit I do "have a problem with" any (of any chronological age) who substitute a personal preference for a 'Biblical principle', though, as per your own 'tag-line'.

FTR, there is no such thing as the "loaded language" you have used here, in this post, of "standing up for the old time Biblical foundations", and accompanying implication that any who do not stand where you do, somehow do not stand for the Biblical foundations. A 'foundation' is Biblical, or it is not. There is no other alternative, that I can see, as to whether or not something is Biblical.

Whether or not it is "old time", meaning 100, 200, 400, 1500 years in the preaching of it is irrelevant. Something that you or I may have heard (or read) that was 'preached' for the very first time last Sunday, may be Biblical. Something that wes 'preached' 17-1800 years ago (read some early 'heresy' preached by some 'church father', such as Arianism or Gnosticism, for a couple of notable examples) may, in fact, not be Biblical. But it is sure "old time"! Yep! "Old time" heresy, that is. It took the 'church' over 1500 years to get a fairly widely-understood, clear understanding of "justification by faith". It was no less Biblical, in those 1500 yrs., than it was when the NT was written. But it was certainly less clearly understood.

As to 'youth': In fact, as of now (for our church desires to have some more to be determined this Sunday), my church has two messengers who are planning on heading to the SBC meeting in Indianapolis next week. One is 59, which happens to be me, and the other is 18. Neither of us is the pastor, or on staff, in any form, merely laymen. Nor does the 'younger' have any less authority, voice, or vote, than does the 'elder', although I will offer any small advice I may happen to have, should he ask. We have, in the past, had messengers as young as 15 and as old as 80+, at one time, and those together, when we had 7 or 8, to one convention. I voted for both of those to be credentialed as messengers, BTW, as well as for the others who attended that year. So it is not correct to lump me, at least, into that crowd. The one other time I was in attendence at the SBC annual meeting, was when I was at the ancient age of 26, which was 33 years ago.

I'm not sure exactly why you consider my more than one phrase response an ""overload" mess", unless it is because it is not agreeing with you. No single Scripture stands alone against all other Scripture, IMO. And the point I was making is that this verse (I Tim. 4:19) is often offered as some "proof-text", when it is actually being cited as one text, out of context, hence it becomes a pretext for a 'proof-text'. Paul said this, in his address to the Ephesian elders that:

Paul was there for three years. He covered a much wider range than merely one verse, in declaring all the counsel of God. Should not we do the same? Is the DARBY version also the (written) Word of God, BTW? I certainly believe that it is. I would ask why you consider me to have presented some ""overload" mess", when you have posted far more words than I, in this thread, prior to this post? Do not the streets run both ways, in your neighborhood?

While you are technically correct, FTR, not one one person here, that I have seen on this thread, even mentioned divorce, before you, from what I read. Also not one person, before you, even suggested that the two individuals of the OP should not have been together, in the first place. I would not have presumed either, simply because I did not have enough information to consider, as of yet. But I will admit to still learning, and will not make any claim (or presumption) to yet having fully arrived. Anyone else can do as they choose, in this.

Ed

 

I can sympathize with ya Brother. I was a Catholic but it took my new wife who is a Southern Baptist to get me converted. It was done with love, she didn't bully me into her denomination. Ask your wife to show you in the Bible to back up what she believes in. Catholics do many different things, like the Rosary, telling a Priest your sins. If it doesn't have it in the New Testament to back up what she says.......Oh well! It's like this TV Bible study program I watch by Les Feldick says, he backs up everything he teaches with scripture. Keep praying and be a good husband. One she gets saved she will see her ways are wrong because the Holy Spirit will convict her.

Keep Praying,
Hawg