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Marrying a couple another church won't

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by NateT, Mar 31, 2004.

  1. NateT

    NateT New Member

    Oct 25, 2000
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    We had a situation come up a little while back involving a couple that wanted to get married. The church they were attending wouldn't marry them. As far as I could tell it was because one of them had been married and divorced before. I think they were both professing Christians. They contacted a pastor at another unrelated church and he agreed to marry them.

    My question is this: should the other pastor have married them? Not so much because one was divorced and the other wasn't. But I'm asking more because the church they were attending already told them they would not perform the function. Is that stepping on the pastoral/shepparding relationship and usurping his authority?

    Your thoughts?
  2. Johnv

    Johnv New Member

    Oct 24, 2001
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    IMO, yes, the pastor is usurping biblical authority. However, that's according to the way I interpret biblical pastoral authority. He may interpret it differently, and, as much as I disagree with him, he's allowed to run his church as he deems necessary.

    Your church otoh, is not beholden to another church's decision. If your church does not have a biblical problem with the couple being married, then by all means, they should be allowed to marry in your church.

    Such is the case with me. I'm divorced (being divorced for a biblical reason). My church would be willing to perform a wedding if I so chose, so long as my spouse was a believer.
  3. GODzThunder

    GODzThunder New Member

    Jul 1, 2003
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    My mother and father's pastor refused to marry them based on the fact that my father had a previous marriage with two children. They had to get a methodist minister to perform the marriage (in a Baptist Church too).

    I would not have even been born if some other minister had not stepped in to perform the ceremony... So I may be a little biased on this posting lol

    I believe that a past actions & marriage is a responsibility to the Lord and that I should not judge yet I will make the couple attend three to five counseling sessions. If they prove to me that they are fully committed to this marriage and will honor it in the Lord then I will perform, but if they cast a doubt to me in their seriousness (usually younger couples acting on spur of moment type thing), then I will turn them away.
  4. Frogman

    Frogman <img src="http://www.churches.net/churches/fubc/Fr

    Jan 15, 2001
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    I am not a pastor yet. The only incident I know of personally of this happening occurred between two members of our church.

    BTW, this happened a few years prior to my membership and I have been a member for five years (just for a perspective of the time frame), so what I am relating is based upon what the pastor and the man in the marriage has told me; we use to work together.

    One had never been married, the other had been married.

    Our pastor would not marry them. He had reasons, so that is all of that.

    They sought a pastor in another missionary Baptist church in the same area who was willing to marry them.

    BTW, this second pastor's wife left him and their daughter several years ago and he has been alone (raising the daughter, now in college) since (at least to my knowledge) and you know small town news.

    Anyway, the two seeking marriage divorced about 1 month ago.

    All I can and will say about this is that it was not because the other pastor married these two people, but as the world spins, sometimes our previous actions come back upon us and more often than not, they meet us right where we stood when we left them.

    That is all I have to say about that.

    Bro. Dallas Eaton
  5. Dr. Bob

    Dr. Bob Administrator

    Jun 30, 2000
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    We have some ifb churches in Casper that refuse to marry divorced, etc. BUT the pastors all call me to perform the ceremony, since I am not a pastor but a "missionary". THEN they want the couple back in their church, tithing and working.

    I think pastors who hold to a "position" like that will have a lot to answer for. Unbiblical views that make previously divorced folks feel like unregenerate sinners and second class are evil.

    If your church says NO to marrying someone, chances are that I will say YES and rejoice in helping them do right.
  6. gb93433

    gb93433 Active Member
    Site Supporter

    Jun 26, 2003
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    What kind of biblical integrity is that. Those kind of pastors ought to be removed for their religious theology of convenience and put someone in there who will name the name of Christ as their Lord rather than as a hireling. That's not Christianity but rather a religious exercise of the world. When Christ is our Lord we are subject to Him before anyone else. That is true humility.

    Of course what does scripture say will happen in the last days?