Masks

We try to reflect Gods love in our face,the christians I know have nothing to hide.

 

Maybe that is where the term "Sunday Christian" Comes from?

 

Whoa there my brother your christianity is showing!... Brother Glen

 

Hey 2Timothy! I hope you had a blessed Thanksgiving today!

I think there are quite a few of hurting folks here on the BB...and there are those who get ignored quite a bit; some are even ridiculed for their way of belief. Don't understand it all, but guess that's the way the cookie crumbles.

I quit watching as much tv as possible because of its bad influence/negative effect. Now I post on the BB & am wondering if I shouldn't. Well, if the Lord sez stop, then I will.

I have a handsome son who puts on a mask daily...anyone would think he's the happiest guy in the world...but all around him is darkness, which makes my day sometimes too dreary.

I'm talking in riddles, just as grannys do, but wanted to *pop* in & tell you that you are not alone with troubling thoughts & struggles. May God bless & protect you.

 

I know what you mean 2 Tim.! I got sick of it and quit with the "mask", didn't go over too well but new church, new friends, new everything. Glad it happened!
Message boards are a safer place to start than in real life if you're afraid of being yourself...you can just click off people who react poorly to you!
BTW, Dr. Bob is a certifiable nut case. He means no harm, I assure you, and you wouldn't be the first to not recognize his attempts at humor, but we love him despite.
Gina

 

Hey, 2 Tim. I'm gonna share a story about masks, so bear with me. (This is a sad story, a story pushed back in the cobwebs of memory, but your topic brought it back to my mind.)

I grew up as a Baptist P.K. and this was back in 1960, many moons ago. I had a Sunday School teacher, Mrs. C. Mrs. C. had a daughter who was my age and she was my very best friend. She was such a pretty girl, too, blonde hair and blue eyes and big dimples. And we shared our secrets, and hopes, and dreams.

Mrs. C. was divorced. I never knew any of the details about it and I was young. But Mrs. C. was a good Sunday School teacher. I always enjoyed being in her class.

Anyway, one cold Sunday morning in December, early, before Sunday School, my dad (her pastor) got a phone call....an urgent phone call. Mrs. C. & her daughter rented the upstairs apartment of a house. The landlord called my dad to say the TV had been on all night and he banged on their door but there was no answer and the TV was on. Could my dad come over & see what was going on?

It just so happened to be my 11th birthday. My special day. (And a day when part of my innocent childhood was chipped away. )

I don't know all the details of what my dad found when he went over to the apartment. Of course the police had to be called. But what I do know is my best friend and my Sunday School teacher (her mom) were dead, killed by a shotgun blast. I don't know if they ever figured out how it happened, but it was ruled a murder/suicide. My dad sure found a mess and I'm sure it was awful for him. He never really talked about it much but I know the whole thing broke a lot of hearts in our church.

Something was terribly wrong in Mrs. C's life. I'll never know what it was, maybe loneliness, maybe more. But she took her own life and her daughter's life for reasons nobody will ever know.

Masks? Yes. Sometimes people wear them. Sometimes masks are necessary to hide pain that only God can know about. Sometimes masks are worn because someone can't face up to their own frailties and humanness and imperfections. Or guilt. But with the help of Jesus, we can all gradually take our masks off, because Jesus loves us and accepts us just as we are. We just need to learn to Trust Him....for everything. There is no emptiness that He cannot fill. There is no sadness He cannot help us bear. There is no burden too big for Him. We just need to trust Him.

So you are right...sometimes people wear masks. Apparently, my Sunday School teacher was one of them.

[ November 29, 2002, 08:53 AM: Message edited by: SheEagle911 ]

 

Sorry Dr Bob,
got carried away a bit there for a moment,but I do not like people to think most of us Christians as being a pack of idiots.

 

Perhaps there is a lesson here for all, masks and all. We ought to minister the word and the healing graces of the Lord Jesus Christ to all without prejudice. We ought to accept where people are living and be a parcel of goodness and not another burden for them to bear.

SheEagle, not a few have gone down that road, and everyone is shocked after the fact. Work in a home for battered women and you get to see a little of it. We see false fronts everywhere in society, evidence that we are not taking the message where it is most needed. I wonder just how much we are preaching to the converted, and missing the mark.

Perhaps it is time to get off some of our hobbyhorses and more directly interlink with people,,,,,sneak inside their masks and find out what it is all about.

Cheers,

Jim

 

Hi Kenneth,

You brought up some very good points/questions. I think there are a lot of reasons for 'masks' or false fronts. Here are a few I can think of. I'm not trying to pass judgment on any of them, just listing what I have seen and, in some cases, been part of.

1. When pain is private. Sometimes you need time to absorb the shock of something bad that just happened to you and so you just try to look normal until you can cope with dealing with people AND dealing with the pain, too. I have been in this position.

2. So people around you won't be burdened with your mood swings. I have done this, certainly! Why ask my friends or even strangers in the store to have to put up with my moods that are tiredness-related and such? It doesn't need sharing, it needs sleep!

3. To disguise a completely double life. I know a man who was married for many years and having affairs for many of them. Yet the people in his daily life and at church never had a clue -- he was considered a model Christian, husband, and father. Until he left them all!

4. To placate adversaries. Sometimes the only way to avoid an unnecessarily unpleasant situation is to just smile and shine it on.

5. Yes, to hide sins and problems. This can be related to two different causes: not wanting to cause embarrassment to oneself, or not wanting to cause embarrassment to the name of Christ. Since God judges the heart, I would venture to say that it is the reason behind this hiding of sins which might be even more important than the hiding itself.

6. To try to live up to what people expect of you. This is a really difficult one in a lot of areas and can cause some major pride and stumbles.

I do know that even when we try to live open and transparent lives, we still alter ourselves in situations to try to keep things smooth or match the people we are with and the timing of what is going on. Is this a masking effect or simply the ability, as Paul said, to be all things to all people in one way or another?

On the other side, from what I have seen and experienced, it takes a great deal of security in Christ and maturity in the faith not to need at least occasional masks, or public faces.

Which brings up the last point, and one my husband and I have to deal with regularly. He is well-known in his field and we are often on speaking tours and such. When faced with many people or being the center of attention in a crowd, there is definitely a public face one puts on -- especially if one actually prefers the quiet peace of one's own home and the company of just one or two people at a time! That has to be submerged and a 'public face' of total graciousness and time and attention put on, no matter how we feel at the time!

So maybe not all masks are bad? Sometimes they may be for the comfort and convenience of the other person in the particular circumstances everyone is in.

But on the other hand... masking in front of close friends and family can be an awful trap and lead to enormous pain and misunderstandings for all involved. Everyone needs a close circle where just about everything is open and known and accepted in terms of a person's personality. Sin is always sin, and good friends have the privilege of quietly pointing it out to us and praying with us if we missed it in our own lives, but other than that, to be accepted for all one's personal vagaries is a wonderful thing among close friends and family.

It is also quite impossible in a large group or away from home and friends. How can brief acquaintances ever know enough about us to love us 'anyway'? And they would certainly be bored to death if we were to sit them down and start to explain everything about ourselves! I, for one, would also be bored to death trying to tell someone that much about myself!

 

Excellent!

 

Excellent post Helen and Jim.

The mask is something only the mind can wear, never the heart.