My Beliefs

Then you need to immerse yourself in the Scriptures. I'm not saying that our lives are a rose garden as believers but God does not beat us over and over again for our past sins or cause us to suffer just because we have sin in our life. I'd love to talk to you more if you'd like. My e-mail is mama4 AT seekone DOT com. Or when you get into the private women's forum, we can chat there and there are some amazing women who can also help you. Just so you know where I'm coming from, I'm a pastor's wife, a mom of 4 children ages 8-21 and I've been a believer since 1972.

 

You know what I did when my daughter was so ill? I screamed in the car on the way home asking God why?? I told him this stunk and I was hurting a lot. It's OK. God's there as our Father waiting for us to come to Him with our hurt and He won't laugh at us or hurt us even further.

 

Do you think that message is coming to you from God? What does His Word say to you about who you are in Him? My other question to you is this: What does God expect of you as His daughter? What happens if you try but fall short? I'm not talking about disobedience but instead really trying and falling short?

I'm going to be heading home in a few and I may not be on again until later tonight but you're more than welcome to e-mail me if you want to talk. PMing here is hard because there's a limit to how many PMs you can send. But please e-mail me if you want to talk.

 

Well, even if I know someone you know, I don't tell. But you need to feel comfortable yourself.

 

Yes you do but a marriage is a partnership. A man and women are co-equal before the cross but we are in different roles. A wife's place is not to be an obedient dog following the husband around but instead to be his helper. As part of being his helper, there are times that you must be his sister in Christ and speak to him to correct him. Sometimes you must be his cheerleader. Sometimes you need to be his confidant and sometimes you need to be his counselor. I've had to do all of that in the last few weeks with my own husband. If I were to just be a silent partner, BOTH of us would suffer greatly and our marriage would be a sham. Honestly - we've been married 26 years and I can safely say that we are closer than we've ever been before, having gone through some tough times together and having to spent a lot of time discussing what is in our hearts. I cannot imagine not having the ability to pour out my heart to my husband and for him to not love me and cherish me enough to be able to listen and love me through the tough times. I can't imagine not being the shoulder for my husband to come to cry on when he needs to.

So yes, you need to answer to your husband but that doesn't mean that you need to be a doormat.

 

** I had your quote but I'm editing since you edited your post. I don't want to force you to post anything you're not comfortable with. You are NOT stupid. Please stop saying that.**

You know what? You are honestly speaking as an abused woman. Everything that you've said is so untrue. You are not the cause of anyone's anything. You are not stupid. Your emotions are not wrong. It is not your fault. Is this what you are getting from your husband and your church? Then I can safely say that you are dealing with nothing less than spiritual abuse and I question if there's any other abuse there too.

You are a daughter of the King. You were bought at a price. You have a value worth far more than rubies. You are precious to your Father and have your name written on His hand. You are loved - dearly loved. Please remember that.

You say that being in the world even a little is wrong but are we not all in the world?? The Bible tells us to be in the world but not to be OF the world. In other words, don't let the world control you - do not let it be the driving force in your life. But if we are to be salt and light in the world, we must be in it and influence it. If you feel music is wrong for you, that is your choice but don't let others tell you that if you listen to even godly music that you are hell-bound. That's not true. Wearing pretty clothing (that is modest - and I'm not speaking a burka or covered from earlobes to toes either) is not bad either. The Bible tells us to allow our beauty to come from within but look at all of the Scripture where God speaks of clothing and see how richly He clothes His people!

From what I gather from what you've said, you are in a very dark place but that is not where a child of the King should be. What are the fruits of the Spirit? Joy and peace are two of them and I'm not sensing that in what you've posted. You need to stop hearing the lies of the enemy and instead listen to the truths of your heavenly Father.

 

QE - Please tell me about yourself. How long have you been married? How did you meet your husband? What sort of church do you attend (you don't need to be specific in the church but just the denomination and such)?

I'd also like to ask a blunt question and this will be important for you to answer. Do you feel safe with your husband? Do you feel safe to say what you feel to him or do you fear that you would be hurt (physically, emotionally or spiritually) if you did?