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Discussion in 'Free-For-All Archives' started by Seth3, Nov 21, 2004.

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  1. Seth3

    Seth3 New Member

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    If a Woman is married and years later comes to know the Lord as her savior. Must she submit unto her husband in all things if the husband is not being abusive but has strong opionons which are not her own? Even though she silently disagrees and keeps the matter to herself is he still the "head" of her given that he is an unbeliever. Is she required to submit to his authority in that he remains the descision maker and head of the household?

    Thanks for any thoughts

    Seth3
     
    #1 Seth3, Nov 21, 2004
  2. Deacon

    Deacon Well-Known Member
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    1 Corinthians 7:10-16 speaks almost exactly to the situation you have described.

    The verse regarding submission to one's husband is Colossians 3:18...

    "Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord."

    In this verse there is nothing about whether the spouse is saved or not, it is just right or “fitting” that a wife be subject to her husband.

    To do otherwise would be a poor witness.
    "For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? (1 Co 7:16).

    Rob
     
    #2 Deacon, Nov 21, 2004
  3. Seth3

    Seth3 New Member

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    Thank you Rob. What if the Woman desired to take care of the children in service for the church but He told her, "No he did not want her to do that". He was pretty stern about it. I don't desire to be partial here. But could use some help.

    What advice can you give on that? any?

    God bless

    Seth3
     
    #3 Seth3, Nov 21, 2004
  4. Gina B

    Gina B Active Member

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    I was in that situation, and don't think that there is one answer that would fit all such situations.
    In my case I followed that advice of my (
    then) pastor because I didn't know what to do. He advised me to obey him as a husband and I did so, whether it went against scripture or the law. I prayed for God's protection and a way out of the situation, and as I'm not sitting in prison and the situation is over people can choose to believe one of two things.
    1. I did the right thing and God answered my prayers
    2. I'm a very lucky person
     
    #4 Gina B, Nov 21, 2004
  5. Seth3

    Seth3 New Member

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    GinaL

    I agree that if she would submit to her husband as the "order of things" does seem to indicate there must be a "reason" perhaps unclear to the woman herself but in submitting unto him (her husband) which is the Lords will and "way out" for her through something she may not understand right now. She could be at liberty in this situation at a later time in her submitting herself unto him as the Lord commands (within the present).

    I agreed that she doesn't need to go to church if her husband does not want her to. In fact she seems to have an "out here" because her calling might be to be where she is in order to gain him through her submission unto Him as the word indicates, that perhaps at a later time God would open those doors to her but for her to remain faithful where she is.

    Sound good to you?

    God bless

    Seth3
     
    #5 Seth3, Nov 21, 2004
  6. Gina B

    Gina B Active Member

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    Sounds good to me with one exception. While throwing a fit is out of the question, she still can and should voice her thoughts on the matter. For example, if she is told he does not want her to go to church the following day there's no reason she can't reasonable say "ok I won't since you don't want it and I want to keep peace between us, but I do want you to know that it does make me feel bad when you tell me not to do things that I believe God would like me to do", and ask him why. Maybe he'd end up being willing to go along if it's presented right. "Honey, I want to spend that time with you too, how about if we go together and then you can see if it's a place you don't mind me going to?" (that one works well on control freaks because it presents them with the irresistable opportunity to make yet another decision)
    And simply be prepared to drop it if it turns nasty instead of responding in kind. Easier said than done but practice helps.
    Gina
     
    #6 Gina B, Nov 21, 2004
  7. Seth3

    Seth3 New Member

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    GinaL,

    His only day off is Sunday and he is not a Chrisian and enjoys being with her. He is so afraid she will become like those he sees. Being truthful he's not too impressed with those he judges as hypocrits. Though he ofcourse has painted them all with that broad brush, he fears he will lose the person he knows and loves if she (though is a christian herself) to the steriotypical hypocrits he veiws them as. It is a source of dissention.

    Now she does love Him, they have a little girl together he does not mind her teaching or talking about the Lord to the child (Fair enough) but he does not want to give up his only day with his family because he works so hard in order to keep her home to homeschool their child.

    Their goals are healthy and in agreement but theres that "one issue" and its having them home with him on his day off. He will fly into a rage over it if she would go without him, which would niether be healthy for the child, the woman or to the testimony of Christ and the obedience to him that could win him over later on.

    What do you think GinaL or anyone else?


    God Bless

    Seth3
     
    #7 Seth3, Nov 21, 2004
  8. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    A woman should submit to her non Christian husband and quietly respect him.

    If it crosses the threshold of what God requires of her in obedience, then she should pray about it and do what God wants her to do.
     
    #8 SaggyWoman, Nov 21, 2004
  9. Seth3

    Seth3 New Member

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    Thank you SaggyWoman. She believes she should remain at home I feel the Lord has laid that on her heart as well. She has prayed about it for years. He remains unchanging toward this and I agree that part of her obedience to her husband is as unto the Lord Himself.

    I agree with all of you here. I'm satisfied with both the counsel of other women in the Lord, knowing her situation and her hearts desire to please the Lord and the circumstances which required prayer and careful consideration from all sides impartially and in accordance to the word.

    God Bless

    Seth3
     
    #9 Seth3, Nov 21, 2004
  10. billwald

    billwald New Member

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    "The believing partner sanctifies the family."
     
    #10 billwald, Nov 22, 2004
  11. Johnv

    Johnv New Member

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    This has been discussed many times. The Husband is requied to be the spiritual head, and the wife is to submit to her husband's spiritual headship in all matters. If one spouse fails in his/her duties, the other is still called to it.

    That being said, this does not mean that the husband has authority to "tell the woman what to do" in all things. For example, if he tells her she can't go to church, can't eat grapes, can't use toilet paper, or can't use vowels when writing, she's not required to comply, since these are not matters of scriptural headship.

    Now, as far as this case, the husband does not want her to be in a spefic church-related activity, and she feels the need to stay home with him. I don't see the problem. Let her stay home with him. Perhaps she can find church activities midweek or on Saturday. However, if she, over time, finds that she has a spiritual need to go to church on Sunday morning, then she is welcome to do so, and it would not be any violation of the husband's headship role. Although, if she is sensitive to his feelings on the issue, she can seek to minimize the effect at home by perhaos going to the earliest service (say, 9am) and spend the rest of the day with him.
     
    #11 Johnv, Nov 22, 2004
  12. Seth3

    Seth3 New Member

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    Thanks Johnv,

    The Lord has given me a most willing and obedient heart unto my husband who I love immensely. He cares for us, provides our home and allows me to stay at home and homeschool our 5 year old daughter. Here in my care I take complete responsibility for her schooling and spiritual needs directing her to listen in her heart to the Lord and helping her believe His laws ae written there and to walk in love toward all people to be her Heavenly Fathers daughter.

    Here at home I minister on the net, I learn and get to weigh out SO MANY blessed peoples thoughts on the scriptures and am so blessed to be able to do all I desire in this way. It completely works for me and my family and God has brought into my life the greatest of all freinds in the Lord, we fellowship daily on our own website and many others. Bringing our treasures to the table in Christ.

    God has taught me great contentment in Him even when circumstances might look bleak to others I'm filled with his grace and willing in heart.

    God Bless

    Seth3
     
    #12 Seth3, Nov 22, 2004
  13. Link

    Link New Member

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    I Peter 2 or 3 talks about wives submitting to unbelieving husbands.
     
    #13 Link, Dec 1, 2004
  14. Seth3

    Seth3 New Member

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    I so agree Link, thank you very much.

    In Him

    Seth3
     
    #14 Seth3, Dec 1, 2004
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