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Not To Bright!

Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor (Clean)' started by tyndale1946, Feb 20, 2018.

  1. tyndale1946

    tyndale1946 Well-Known Member
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    I thought everyone would enjoy these one liners but hopefully no one is talking about you or are they?... And there are more coming but this is just a taste... Hey I resemble that remark!.. Brother Glen:Roflmao:Roflmao:Roflmao

    1. Not the brightest light in the harbor.

    2. The light's on but no one's home.

    3. Not the brightest bulb in the box.

    4. A few screws short of a hardware store.

    5. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

    6. A few cards short of a deck.

    7. A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

    8. About as sharp as a marble.

    9. Only has one oar in the water.

    10. Smart as a bag of rocks.

    11. A burger short of a combo meal.

    12. The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.

    13. A few peas short of a casserole.

    14. A few keys short of a keyboard.

    15. Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.

    16. The gates are down and the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

    17. As smart as a stick.

    18. Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

    19. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

    20. Has an IQ of room temperature.

    21. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
     
    #1 tyndale1946, Feb 20, 2018
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2018
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  2. TCassidy

    TCassidy Administrator
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    22. Writes "to" instead of "too" in a thread title about stupid people. :D:D:D:D:D
     
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  3. tyndale1946

    tyndale1946 Well-Known Member
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    TC... I told you I resembled that remark... As you can guess English wasn't my favorite subject in school... It was Lunch!:Biggrin... Good thing my wife didn't see it she's a retired English Teacher:eek:... I butcher the Kings English and she cleans it up... If you can't make fun of yourself, who can you make fun of?... I'm trying to kick myself in the butt but I'm to or is it too fat?... Brother Glen:D
     
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  4. kyredneck

    kyredneck Well-Known Member
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    # 23 - Has birds on his antenna, not getting a clear picture....
     
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  5. TCassidy

    TCassidy Administrator
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    Uh, well, uh, you? :D:D:D:D:D
     
  6. kyredneck

    kyredneck Well-Known Member
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    # 24 - Has all sorts of degrees yet behaves as a juvenile.
     
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  7. tyndale1946

    tyndale1946 Well-Known Member
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    OUCH!.. Brother Glen:Wink
     
  8. just-want-peace

    just-want-peace Well-Known Member
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    #25 He has been educated beyond his intelligence.:Thumbsup
     
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  9. tyndale1946

    tyndale1946 Well-Known Member
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    Yeah that's me!... But you never called a drill instructor YOU in Marine Corp Boot Camp... What do I look like to you private, a female sheep?... I'm brighter than you think and in your honor TC I'm posting twenty-one more... Brother Glen:D

    22. Not the brightest crayon in the box.

    23. One twist short of a slinky.

    24. Sharp as a sack of wet mice.

    25. More numb than a frozen mukluk.

    26. Not the sharpest crayon in the box

    27. Not the sharpest tool in the shed

    28. They are depriving some village of its idiot.

    29. A few threads short of a sweater.

    30. A few sandwiches short of a picnic.

    31. Driveway doesn't quite reach the road.

    32. The battery is not fully charged.

    33. About as sharp as a bowling ball.

    34. Dumber than a bag of hammers.

    35. Two bricks short of a load.

    36. A few clowns short of a circus.

    37. A few beers short of a six-pack.

    38. Dumber than a box of hair.

    39. A few tacos short of a fiesta platter.

    40. All foam no beer.

    41. As smart as bait.

    42. Chimney's clogged.
     
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  10. agedman

    agedman Well-Known Member
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    Are marine drill instructors language challenged as a result of growing up on a sheep farm?

    Or are they "punch drunk" from having to butt heads with recruits?

    :)
     
  11. tyndale1946

    tyndale1946 Well-Known Member
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    I guess that could be one cause but I've never met a DI that drank punch... The beverage they preferred was way, way, way, stronger... Brother Glen:)
     
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  12. Kentuckymama

    Kentuckymama New Member

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    Bright as a burnt out light bulb

    Sharp as a dull tack

    Head they were giving out brains and thought they said trains decided he didn't want to be an engineer.

    Cornbread isn't done in the middle.
     
  13. InTheLight

    InTheLight Well-Known Member
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    Progress bar indicator is stuck on "Please Wait".
     
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