Pastoral relationship

My wife and I have a part-time and growing Nouthetic Counseling ministry. We have partnerships with several churches to do their counseling, and one of the reasons pastors refer their people to us for counseling is that we can say things to them that the pastor has a hard time saying, and we can be perfectly straight with them without the Pastor taking the heat.

 

Pastors - Be careful in your counseling. The more that members confide in you and the more you know about them the less comfortable they are with you being their pastor.

They will move to a church where the Pastor doesn't know so much about them.

But then again in some cases that's not a bad thing!

 

Nouthetic Counseling is a great work. Cheers!
PJ

 

Well, as a pastor I know that it is important to have a very close, almost family, relationship with your congregation. This lets you be able to get close to them in a time of need so that you can be a spiritual support and friend to them. When they do wrong in my Church, I like the members to feel that they can come to me to talk about anything, not fearing that I will belittle them or expose them publically. So, on the flip side, it is good to have a close relationship with a pastor because they are the ones who can be there for you when no one else will, this is I feel, part of a calling to pastor a Church just as a shepherd is there for his sheep. Hurting people need to know there is someone there for them in hard times!

 

In many chirches, it will be tough to have an "intimate" relationship with the pastor because of size and because many pastors are taught to be somewhat allof from their members much like a supervisor is not to be chummy with the rank and file or an officer fraternize with the enlisted. There is a fear that we won't respect the man we play volleball and eat hot dogs with. I think it is a bit of a bogus concept, but it may have some basis in reality in some areas and with some types of folks.

Whenever I am up Nawth, they always call me Rev. Shultz. Folks look at me strangely when I tell them to call me Bro. Ron or Ron or when I tried to get Pas in the phone book instead of Rev since I don't like the Rev thang. Down heah, Rev. Shultz will make folks feel like I am being high and mighty in a lot of areas where others must say Dr. Shultz cuz they like the sound of Dr. Theyget some kin dof rush or high from that I reckon. Maybe it makes them feel improtant if they rub shoulders with the Dr. in the house.

I have been close tomost of my pastors because I have been in the trenches with them. Most folks want the social thang without the service thang and if the pastor is about His business social life will have to be tied into the service. Even when we are fellowshipping, the pastor and Iare praying for folks, discussing ministry, etc. S, if you want to have an "intimate" relationship you better get in the trench and be ready to throw a grenade!