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Pit Stop----the Saga continues

Discussion in 'Other Discussions' started by blackbird, Nov 1, 2007.

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  1. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    That's no very nice. What did the Iraqis ever do to you? :tongue3:
     
    #201 padredurand, Apr 3, 2008
  2. Palatka51

    Palatka51 New Member

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    Put a Bible in my MIL's hand and she would have IRAQ straightened out in one thump.:laugh:
     
    #202 Palatka51, Apr 3, 2008
  3. Friend of God

    Friend of God Active Member
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    Unfortunately Guys, we can't send our MILs to Iraq.

    The Geneva Convention clearly speaks on "Cruel and Unusual Punishment."

    If we sent our MILs to Iraq there wouldn't be enough room at 'Gitmo for all the Iraqi troops who'd want to surrender.

    True, we'd have "Operation Son-in-Law Freedom" but; the defecting Iraqi troops would think 'Gitmo is Club Med as opposed to being with our MILs.
     
    #203 Friend of God, Apr 4, 2008
  4. blackbird

    blackbird Active Member

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    During WW2---German soldiers would pass the word that anyone who surrendered to the American forces would be taken aboard any US Navy ship anchored offshore---and be fed Ice Cream and cake----the German soldiers would wave anything white at approaching US Army forces---just to get a bowl of ice cream on board an airconditioned navel ship

    Once---a British company had captured a German unit---the German commander begged the Brit officer to keep going---that they(the German unit) wanted rather to surrender to an American force that would be coming up the road later on

    Can you imagine the Iraqi soldier----"Son!! You see that tank there!! That there tank has somebody's MIL inside---gonna blow you to kingdom come if you don't surrender!!!!!"
     
    #204 blackbird, Apr 4, 2008
  5. Friend of God

    Friend of God Active Member
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    Just think of the poor Iraqi soldier's dilemma:

    He could have been blown to bits by the MIL in the tank OR have his leg talked off [or chewed off] by the MIL.

    Is a MIL the same thing as a WMD?
     
    #205 Friend of God, Apr 5, 2008
  6. blackbird

    blackbird Active Member

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    Finishing up with my Federal Tax Return

    Finishing up with my Alabama State Tax Return

    Finishing up with my "Partial" Mississippi State Tax Return



    Here is also a direct quote from Star War's Obie Wan Kanobi

    "May the Force be with you, Young SkyWalker(Blackbird)!!!!!"
     
    #206 blackbird, Apr 15, 2008
  7. Friend of God

    Friend of God Active Member
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    At tax time I often find this quote attributed to Thomas Jefferson to be comforting....

    "Be glad you're not getting as much government as you're paying for."
     
    #207 Friend of God, Apr 15, 2008
  8. blackbird

    blackbird Active Member

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    YES, SIR REE!!!!

    Here's what "Comrade" Blackbird did

    He "scrambled" a bunch of numbers together---assigned the scrambled numbers "at large" blocks----and got himself a hefty return on the bottom line

    Now---IF---the little twirp IRS agent calls for a conference---all blackbird can say is

    "GO AHEAD, PUNK!!!! MAKE MY DAY!!!!"
     
    #208 blackbird, Apr 16, 2008
  9. Friend of God

    Friend of God Active Member
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    Careful there Bird. That IRS Agent just might be callin' you to co-sign a loan so the rest of us can get our tax refunds too. :laugh: :thumbsup:
     
    #209 Friend of God, Apr 20, 2008
  10. blackbird

    blackbird Active Member

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    Yes----Blackbird would co-sign a loan for Jed Clampett:thumbs: ----but the ink well runs dry in the co-signing line of Uncle Sam!!!!!
     
    #210 blackbird, Apr 21, 2008
  11. Friend of God

    Friend of God Active Member
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    Since you're building a new house I've no doubt you'll find a use or two for the Economic Stimulus Refund. :laugh:
     
    #211 Friend of God, Apr 24, 2008
  12. blackbird

    blackbird Active Member

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    Speakin' of stimulas

    I went fishin' with my son(age 13) and a nephew(age 15) yesterday evening

    We caught three nice sized catfish---'bout 4-5 lbs apiece

    Anyway----I brought um back to the house and was busy cleanin' um----the fish, not the teenagers---they can clean themselves if they want to ---

    My brother in law was there and we decided we'd look inside one of the fish's stomach and see what the dude's been eatin

    We found the stomach---my BIL puts his fingers on it and feels of it----"There's somethin' inside----feels like whatever it is, its got fins like a fish!!!"

    Anyway---we cut the fish stomach open with the filet knife----and the "Whatever it is, its got fins like a fish"----turned out to be a fish hook----a Treble hook

    Beat that story, Padre!!!!!
     
    #212 blackbird, Apr 25, 2008
  13. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    Is it time for fishin' yarns? Pull up a chair, lay some wood on the fire and let me tell ya.....

    My buddy Bobby and I were terrorizing the bass at this little private lake we got to outselves.... Bobby flips his Carolina rig over against the shore and lays the line over a small branch. Bobby starts reeling the line in real easy like 'cause the only thing worse than snaggin' a branch is snagging two tryin' to fix it. Bobby has this rig just about out of the water when this wee bitty bass (we call 'em key chain fish 'cause they ain't no bigger than a key chain) hammers that plastic worm like he ain't et in a month. That wee bitty bass went to thrashing and Bobby's trying to ease the line over the branch. Well all that thrashing convinced this 5 1/2 pounder that supper was ready and he come out of the water and nabbed that wee bitty bass like nobody's business. Long and the short of it was two bass on one hook.

    If I'm lying I'm dying. Your turn......
     
    #213 padredurand, Apr 25, 2008
  14. blackbird

    blackbird Active Member

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    Shoot---that ain't nothin'!!!!

    I was fishin' down in the Atchafalaya River basin swamp just to the southwest of Red Stick---- just me --- ain't caught nothin' all day---so I told myself---just one more cast--if I don't catch nothin' I'll go on home

    I put the ole trusty H & H spinner bait---with a yellow and black skirt---right dare next to de log pokein' out of the water

    And

    WHAM!!!!!!

    She took it(had to be a she!!!!) No he could have

    WHAMED it like a she!!!!

    It was a Large mouth Bass----see??? Told you she was a she!!!:laugh: :laugh:

    Anyway

    I had the Drag set lightly on my Daiwa reel and it started lettin' line out until the ballbearin's and gears inside the reel started overheatin'

    I finally was able to put a little tension on the drag and thought I had control

    UNTIL

    She took off down the swamp slew---the deep part of the water

    And then I realized she was draggin' my boat down the swamp with me in it

    Thats whe I started to realize---I let my life insurance policy lap---this things gonna eat me any my Glastron fiberglass boat and 50hp Mercury outboard motor---and Mrs. Blackbird won't have a dime to spend in Blackbird's memory!!!!!

    Anyway

    I got to racin' down the main river channel of the Atchafalya---and she(the bass) got to pullin' that little 15 foot Glastron so fast----the friction against the water caught the boat on fire!!!!! Thankfully I didn't panic---but played the line reel cool---and thats why I'm still here today!!!!!

    Believe it or not!!!!!!
     
    #214 blackbird, Apr 27, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 27, 2008
  15. blackbird

    blackbird Active Member

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    As Blackbird was sayin' . . . !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
    #215 blackbird, May 19, 2008
  16. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    You broke my methane meter with that last story and it took this long to get it back from the shop. I measured your yarn about she bass and fire producing swamp water and it came back as unadulterated, pure-d methane producing material! :thumbs:









    Everybody knows that yeller and black skirts won't work in murky water.
     
    #216 padredurand, May 20, 2008
  17. blackbird

    blackbird Active Member

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    Thats exactly why Blackbird's wife will never wear yellow/black on Sunday's and days when its cloudy outside!!!
     
    #217 blackbird, Jun 2, 2008
  18. blackbird

    blackbird Active Member

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    June 19. 2008

    9:30PM O'Clock

    I had my first Tomatoe Sandwich of the year!!!!!

    Thank you, :jesus:

    :godisgood: God is great Let us thank Him for this food!!!! AAAAAAAAAMEN!!!!
     
    #218 blackbird, Jun 20, 2008
  19. blackbird

    blackbird Active Member

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    Dear Pit Stop dairy----I mean, diary

    Fourth of July

    I had grilled hamburgers, hotdogs, and link sausage for supper

    I had "Home grown" sliced tomatoes, Potatoe chips, hamburger dills, and corn on the cob and iced tea

    I had homemade Butterfinger Icecream AND homemade Peach icecream

    You can't eat no better than blackbird can!!!!!!!!!!:laugh: :laugh:
     
    #219 blackbird, Jul 5, 2008
  20. blackbird

    blackbird Active Member

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    Finally got the footings dug and poured with 'crete-----its all downhill from here!!!!!!:thumbs: :type:
     
    #220 blackbird, Jul 28, 2008
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