prayer, and what is right?

It sounds a very difficult situation, and one that it would be difficult to sort out even for someone who knew the situation first-hand. We can pray for you, but without knowing you, the wife, the husband or your pastor, it is (in my view) impossible to advise you, beyond saying that when Christians find themselves in difficult circumstances, the first and most important thing to do is to take it to the Lord in prayer.

Why was your meeting with the pastor "to no avail"? Was it that he didn't understand the problem. Did he believe you?

As you say you are a new Christian, are there any more mature Christians at the church from whom you could seek advice?

It would probably be difficult for you to meet the other woman face-to-face to sort the matter out, but how about writing her a letter, saying how sorry you are that she was so upset, but going on to explain to her why you visted her house? (I assume the fishing rod holder is still at her house). Assure her that nothing wrong happened - you just went there because her husband wanted to borrow your holder.

May God grant that the matter is speedily sorted out, and that your surgery will go well.

 

This too is my prayer, in the name of Jesus... AMEN

I try not to worry about what Man thinks, Job said it best when he said;

Job 16:19 Also now, behold, my witness is in heaven, and my record is on high.

I am sure you learned a good lesson about the Church and pray you find peace in the midst of this storm.

 

If it fits your heart, my 2 cents is to: Walk directly up to the wife… look her in the eye… and sincerely tell her that you are sorry and you hope that “they” will keep the fishing pole holder, as it is not important to you and would only remind you of this sad situation that you unwittingly started which caused suspicion, and that it was a presumptuous mistake on your part to bring it over in friendship unannounced. Apologize again and state that you hope “they” will forgive you; then walk away placing it in God’s hands.

Be aware that you have had at least two “conversations about this stupid pole holder” with the husband, and that the interest and friendship over this could easily be mistaken by a jealous and untrusting partner on her part, may be a game on his part, as well as taking an honest look at your own heart and the motives concerning this stupid fishing pole holder.

P.S. it is easy to get carried away in innocent friendship over silly things and you must always consider the appearance and your heart when concerning the opposite gender.

 

suedonny,

I read this earlier and I've been thinking about this over the afternoon. You've been given some good advice. It's a shame that more marriages in the church aren't more secure, but they aren't. The divorce rate for Christians is the same for the rest of the world and there is a reason for it. This woman may have a reason to be jealous, but she may not. She may just be jealous. It's a shame that some folks have to talk before they see what happens, but that seems impossible for some and then the damage is done. It's hurtful within the Body.

Benjamin gave you some good practical things to do. I'll be praying for you too.

 

I guess what I am having a hard time following is that after being married 30+ years, (now in my mid 50s), I think jealousy for both of us has been left behind. Whatever situation my wife finds herself in day to day, I trust her and do not give it a second thought. I was very jealous when first married.

You said you were in a senior citizens group. I assume the couple is around the same age. It seems that you and they would be further along than I am. I cannot imagine being married to someone 50+ years and they are still insanely jealous.

 

The lord will always make away. I just think you need to remeber what Jesus said. Mt 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which DESPITEfully use you, and persecute you; I think if you are going to a church and you don't fill love there you need to get out of it.1jo 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. 1jo 4:21 And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also. Go to another church if you do not fill the love. Ask God to lead you there. He will.:thumbsup:

 

It seems to me there were problems at that house before you got there. If my wife came home and some church lady was here, she would not think the second thing about it. I can't help but believe the problems existed before you came on the picture. My advice is forget the fishrod holder, and go about your business and let them go their way. In time, the truth will come out I think. God Bless, and forget them. You got enough trouble with your husband with cancer and ...........

BBob,

 

I am sorry this happened to you. I agree with Brother Bob, I feel there were problems long before you arrived.

We go through this all too often. A man will approach my wife about my conversing with his wife, or vice versa. A wife will confront me about my wife's words or mannerisms when speaking with their hubby. People are at different levels of maturity. Some folks just get jealous easy, and imagine their spouse being hit on.
Explain the truth directly in just a few sentences, apologize, then let it go. It's best to rise above it, don't play the game.
Praying for them would be a nice thing to do.


Blessings to you,

Joe

 

Go... and grow.

Go on with your walk with the Lord and grow from the lesson here.

The Word of God tells us to abstain for all appearances of evil. Now, what you did may not have been evil, but it did have an evil appearance to the spouse of that man. The divil told that woman there was something going on and rather than have a talk with the Lord, her husband, and you, she listened to the devil.

The Word of God tells us 'Neither give place to the devil.' In other words, don't put yourself in a situation where this could happen again. If a husband invites you to stop over to bring something or pick up something, make sure his wife or a responsible child is home with him to erase any doubts of such an event again.

Go... and grow.

I say Go... and grow.

 

I disagree. Nothing happened, so don't go concerning yourself over some imaginary appearance of evil, you weren't in a brothel. Taking precautions of ensuring the child is home or whatever else listed will likely just fuel her jealous mind that there was a problem. You would probably be verifying that she had reason to be jealous of you. Don't feed the beast. Many people are unstable, just ignore them and follow through with your day as usual. I doubt she feels something actually happened in between you two. Jelaousy is painful, so I would treat her nicely.
SFIC is right on, go and grow...

I will pray for your husband's surgery. Blessings :1_grouphug:


Joe

 

The Bible says to "Abstain from every appearance of evil" My advice was to let the lesson that it appeared evil to the wife cause her to not allow such an event to happen again.

Godly advice whether you agree or disagree.

 

Ok so what if this guy decides to go through the drive thru and his wife thinks he's doing it to see the cute cashier? So he shouldn't eat at Mickey D's because of the appearance of evil? How far are you willing to exaggerate this verse by imagining an evil he must learn from each time his wife looses it? If you want to know the truth, his wife is probably fat and ugly and the other lady is thinner and better looking. That is the problem.


Joe

 

Regardless what the women look like, the Bible says to abstain from every appearance of evil. Common sense would tell you that includes going into the home of someone your opposite gender when their spouse is not there.