1. Welcome to Baptist Board, a friendly forum to discuss the Baptist Faith in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to all the features that our community has to offer.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

Featured Question about divorce

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Sminasian, Oct 11, 2012.

  1. plain_n_simple

    plain_n_simple Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2011
    Messages:
    1,887
    Likes Received:
    6
    Born again is not only getting baptized, it is taking on the mind and viewpoint of God
    Most here think like the world
     
  2. Revmitchell

    Revmitchell Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2006
    Messages:
    52,013
    Likes Received:
    3,649
    Faith:
    Baptist
    Seriously...about 10 cc's of Haldol. Padre you got any?
     
  3. Sminasian

    Sminasian Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2012
    Messages:
    100
    Likes Received:
    0
    I know I gave a short answer to this thread earlier today but I had my two grand daughters and couldnt really get into a long post.

    BUT, I have to say, my ex, out of all the people who have hurt me over the years, and we have all been there, is the ONLY one to apologize to me for everything. I know it was from his heart because he NEVER apologized to me before for anything, not ONCE. He was speaking with his heart and tear filled eyes, and that is rare for him. I know him, I know how he is. He told me 2 years ago he had a stroke and was in the hospital for a week and after that, he changed. He told me this, but I could see it in his calm demeanor, his jesters, speech, etc. There IS something different about him. Now he is by no means walking with the Lord, but he told me he KNOWS he is not walking in the Lord right now. He said he is scared, scared to let me down again, scared we wont make it this time. He has apologized over and over to me, and swears he is in love with me and that he never wants to stop being friends with me. What you folks probably dont know is that we grew up together , in the childhood homes we are both in now. We have ALWAYS been in eachothers life. That is why this is so difficult for us. Does he have issues? of course he does, he admits it, do I have issues? of course I do. And the worst thing I did was rush into a divorce that maybe the Lord didnt want us to have. Divorce is never Gods intention, marriage, in the Lord, serving as a couple, and staying true to vows is what God wants for marriages. I believe the Lord can turn anyone and any situation around. Can you imagine IF we did get back together? What a powerful testamony that would be? I held ALOT OF bitterness , hatered and anger towards my ex for YEARS. And all it did was make me more miserable . 18 months ago, it occured to me: Who am I to hold a grudge against him if Jesus NEVER holds a grudge against me? I let it go, i repented of my anger, bitterness and hatered and the Holy Spirit lifted it away immediately , to the point where I cant even remember being that angry at my ex. It seems like a life time ago.
    I try to be realistic, and pray for discernment, and the longer I wait the stronger my love for this man gets. LUST has NEVER been in this equation. In my heart, I am still married to him, I know that the law of the land says we are divorced, but I love him, and the thought of any other man even kissing me or touching me, to me, is repulsive. It actually turns my stomach. THIS is the man I made vows to, and a piece of paper cant change the vows. What I did was tell him this: Take one month, make a decision and then call me and let me know what he wants to do. In the meantime, I am taking this month to pray for my husband( yes thats how i still feel about him, he is my husband), be faithful to him as I always have, and love him back to the cross. Right now, that is my job. I need to be a faithful, prayerful, loving wife to him, even in our physical seperation.
    He already knows that if he leaves this other girl, I am NOT jumping right into his life. Christian counceling seperately then jointly. I told him we can " date" AT CHURCH . And go very slowly and with biblical guidance. So he knows where I stand, I just have to wait to see where God stands. Please pray for us for the next 29 days.
     
  4. Arbo

    Arbo Active Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2010
    Messages:
    3,942
    Likes Received:
    1
    When someone says I need to be born again, I take that as my salvation being questioned.

    I think you're off your rocker.
     
  5. plain_n_simple

    plain_n_simple Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2011
    Messages:
    1,887
    Likes Received:
    6
    You do not understand "born again".
    Into a new creature, you will not think as the old worldly person, yet right now you do.
     
  6. plain_n_simple

    plain_n_simple Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2011
    Messages:
    1,887
    Likes Received:
    6
    Turn to Jesus , not drugs
     
  7. Arbo

    Arbo Active Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2010
    Messages:
    3,942
    Likes Received:
    1
    "Coo-coo, coo-coo."

    Again, thankfully My salvation doesn't depend on your approval.
     
  8. plain_n_simple

    plain_n_simple Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2011
    Messages:
    1,887
    Likes Received:
    6
    I believe God is doing a work in your lives. He will grow in God. Have faith!
     
  9. Arbo

    Arbo Active Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2010
    Messages:
    3,942
    Likes Received:
    1
    Sminasian- Bottom line, don't trust internet advice. As evidenced here, much of it is horse-hockey. You're best served if you can speak to a pastor or someone who is familiar with the two of you and your situation. People here do care, but in-person counseling is much preferable.
     
  10. plain_n_simple

    plain_n_simple Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2011
    Messages:
    1,887
    Likes Received:
    6
    Take a leap of faith!
     
  11. Sminasian

    Sminasian Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2012
    Messages:
    100
    Likes Received:
    0
    :BangHead: I really do NOT want " worldly" advice. I can get that anywhere. I want GODLY advise, which is why I brought it here. I had a lot of worldly advice which led to me filing for divorce, regardless of what he did, and I have had some bad spiritual advice from a pastor who preaches on " grace alone", ie, do what ever you want, its all covered under grace, type of pastor, it only left me more confused than ever.

    I am a fundemental baptist, bible believing woman, and I want only scriptural advice, that is it. How does God see this, what can God do , and what does God expect, I am so tired of this " world" and its advice, not only from this board but in general, for once, I want the truth according the LORD
     
  12. plain_n_simple

    plain_n_simple Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2011
    Messages:
    1,887
    Likes Received:
    6
    Get by yourself. Ask God to show you. He will talk to you if you keep at it. Knock and keep knocking. Thank God for everything already done, and thank Him for what He will do soon. Seek the kingdom first, and all will be added to you.
     
  13. dcorbett

    dcorbett Active Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2003
    Messages:
    3,414
    Likes Received:
    1
    Faith:
    Baptist
    I can only tell you that the Bible preaches against adultery. AND
    I can only tell you that, as a Christian, you have a responsibility to God to
    take care of yourself, your body is a temple. For me, that implies
    respecting myself - and allowing myself to be abused is not showing
    myself any respect.

    We cannot change people. God can, but if we put our expectations
    on God, we might be disappointed if what WE want is not in HIS plan.
     
  14. saturneptune

    saturneptune New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2006
    Messages:
    13,977
    Likes Received:
    2
    Ok, I confess, I use black magic, hypnosis, and raising deceased relatives from the dead to heal abused people. I also at times on good days receive a word of knowledge and speak in tongues. Of course on Halloween, we burn black cats.
     
  15. saturneptune

    saturneptune New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2006
    Messages:
    13,977
    Likes Received:
    2
    Take a leap........................
     
  16. saturneptune

    saturneptune New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2006
    Messages:
    13,977
    Likes Received:
    2
    I never noticed this poster before, but this person is either drinking something, smoking something, or got hit in the head. I have never seen so many salvations questioned in one thread.
     
  17. Michael Wrenn

    Michael Wrenn New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2000
    Messages:
    4,319
    Likes Received:
    0
    You are bearing false witness, and you are a liar. I strongly suggest you repent, accuser.
     
  18. plain_n_simple

    plain_n_simple Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2011
    Messages:
    1,887
    Likes Received:
    6
    Thought so. Psychology too I suppose...
     
  19. Oldtimer

    Oldtimer New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2011
    Messages:
    1,934
    Likes Received:
    2
    I'm thankful that you can read through the debate that one in particular has brought into your plea for guidance. Many others would have silently turned away.

    Here's the quandry. Regardless of what each of us offers as advice, we cannot know the will of God in your life. How does God see this? We can't fully answer because God is looking at your heart and sees what we cannot see. What does God expect? Universally, we can, as born again members of the body of Christ, tell you what God expects of us all. However, we can't tell one member of the Body, specifically what God expects from that specific individual, in a situation like this one. (Especially when we can't do more than type at a keyboard.) Only He can do that.

    Simply because we do not know and cannot know what His will is in your life. We cannot know, with certainty, that God wants the two of you back together. We cannot know, with certainty, that God does not want you to resume your marriage at some point in time in the future.

    If your question were about abortion, for example, this is cut and dried, from a scriptures standpoint, IMO. How does God see this? It's murder. What can God do? He can forgive the murderer when that person truely repents and begs for His mercy. What does God expect? That the murderer never kill an unborn child again.

    Your situation isn't that simple. It isn't that cut and dried. Primarily because it isn't about your walk with our Lord, alone. There's another person involved. One who currently is not giving evidence that he, too, is walking with our Lord. And, based on your story, has strayed from the path while you were with him in a husband/wife relationship. Just as we can't know God's will for you and your life, we can't know God's will for his either. Not at this level, not with this situation you find yourself in.

    It may indeed be that God does want the two of you to unite again. Under His terms and in His timeframe. With BOTH of you in surrender to Him. If that's what God is expecting, then the only thing you can do is wait, until He receives that surrender from you and from your ex-husband. Yes, you still feel that he is your husband. However, right now, evidence indicates that he isn't totally surrendered to viewing you as his wife (in the same context), as well. Frankly, he can't and still be committing adultry right in front of you.

    IMO, right now, the only thing you can do is wait. I'm not saying that lightly, either, as that's probably one of the hardest things this flesh has to do. Scriptures show us over and over again, what can happen, if we don't wait and take matters into our own hands. Would Islam exist today if Sarah had faithfully waited for God's will to manifest itself within her life?

    By your own timetable, you have to wait. Wait in prayer for both of you. Wait for God's will to manifest itself in both of your lives, just as Sarah should have done.

    That said, and based on what you've said, find another pastor to help you. Not all "pastors" can give sound advice and council. My own pastor bemoans the fact there are too many pastors preaching "do what ever you want, its all covered under grace". -- I know I'm saved, so I'll go to heaven regardless of what I do. I'll be forgiven, so I might as well enjoy some of the fruits of this sin ridden world. -- Find another pastor who also preaches that each one of us will stand before our Saviour and will be judged for our failures to turn away from the "world".

    In closing, it sounds like you have a good approach in place to try to learn God's will. You are being cautious, as you should. You know what's the Holy Spirit has revealed, so far, about what's in your heart. You don't know what's in his, despite what he's had to say. Nor, do you know what else the Holy Spirit may reveal about what's in your own heart when you're ready to hear.

    I'm just a layman, so my words won't count for much. Find a pastor who can help you hear, more clearly, what the Holy Spirit can and will reveal about yourself and your ex-husband. My prayers are that you will find such a shepherd who can bring you closer to finding the answers to the questions that you've just posed. He can put his hand on your shoulder and pray with you, while we can only pray for you, from a distance.

    I hope you find some measure of help within these words.
     
    #79 Oldtimer, Oct 13, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 13, 2012
  20. Arbo

    Arbo Active Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2010
    Messages:
    3,942
    Likes Received:
    1
    He reminds me of another (banned) poster who used to question others' salvation and had a fixation on psychology.

    The sad thing is, if someone didn't have an adequate amount of discernment, they might take his advice seriously and be harmed because of it.
     
Loading...