Question on Remarriage after Divorce.

Amazing how often and in how varied a circumstance this cure all phrase is used. "Let anyone here who disagrees with this position who is without sin cast the first stone."

Yes, we all sin, yes we all seek forgiveness, but the thought of repentance is to attempt not to do it again. In the minds of those that feel remarriage is adultry, it is a tad different - they would feel it is walking into an ongoing outward sinning situation, and I personally believe they want to forwarn folks considering it.

Do as you will of course, but know some have done what they could to help you consider all circumstances.

Scoff if you want, but many of these folks are honestly trying to help even if you don't think so.

This is why we have seen three or more times in this thread, people saying get into the word and see what IT says and be sure GOD is leading you in your conclusions.

PERSONAL opinion, this thread has been much more balanced and, in my mind, loving than most on this subject and I hope it continues in that manner.

 

With all that you wrote Mom...I am wondering if it was to be perceived that you were so in the wrong, why the church of all things did not try to bring you back into the fold? That sounds rather odd to me.

I am talking from my own perspective here. I have NEVER been an unbeliever. But I do live in a world with some. And when those unbelievers cross a line that cannot be uncrossed it is not just they who have to live with that decision...it is all of us.

My exhusband, for whatever reason (its been 15 years now) decided he didnt want to be married anymore, I was not really given any other alternative. He was bound and determined to to do whatever he wanted, without the benefit of prayer or spiritual consult, and now he is a second time divorcee drinking beer in his carport.

It took a lot of prayer for me to get past his leaving. I had to make sure I had done all that I could. Since then Ive managed to walk a fine line balanced in God's love and mercy. God knows the truth, man can be ignorant if he wants to, but I deserve love and happiness just like everybody else. And so do you. All I recommend is that you remember to do everything in God's time.

And for the record straightandnarrow...I agree wholeheartedly.

 

You've NEVER been and unbeliever? Were you born only once and never born again then my friend you are an unbeliever. Read Jn.Ch.3

In Christ

 

Negative. I was baptized at 8 and have held strong to my faith for 30 more years after that. Never abandoned my faith not once, even when tempted. I think the scripture is covered and if it isnt, that is between me and God. You, my friend, arent acting In Christ, as you failed to notice that someone else asked for relief.

Thanks.

 

Lorelei,

I read the scripture you referenced as:

Are you married? Do not seek a divorce.
Are you single? Don't try get married, but if you do, don't worry, it isn't sinning.

I don't think it means, "If you are divorced, go ahead an remarry."

 

The question was whether or not remarrying is a sin. Paul clearly said it is not. Did Paul discourage remarrying? Yes, but is it a sin? No.

Earlier in the passage he also told the unmarried and widows that it was better to marry than to burn with passion. The unmarried are divorced people. The virgins (those who were never married) are addressed separately in the passage.

However, Paul recommended that virgins also not marry which is why he also mentioned for them to marry was not a sin either. Would you say that virgins as well as divorced people should not marry? Paul said it would be good for them to remain that way. Paul was being consistant. Paul warns us of the heartaches of such things, but he clearly said that marrying was not sin whether you were a virgin, a divorcee, or a widow.

Which again, was the question. Is it a sin to remarry? No. Is it beneficial? That is not for me to say since I am not in this situation. Would God prefer reconciliation, yes he would. But is it a sin for a divorced person to remarry? Paul said No.

~Lorelei

 

Paul always clarified the words of Christ. He never contradicted them.

Christ said: "But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery."

Adultery is a sin.

 

Hmmm. Maybe she asked the question she did not because she was primarily concerned with sinning, but because she wanted to know if it was the right thing to do (go on with her life) because in her heart she still loved her (ex)husband?

Some people take that as a sign that it isnt over yet, that God still wants them to try. And what I read was that she was conflicted because he spurns her every attempt at reconciliation - heck it even sounds like he cannot be friendly. Makes it a bit more than confusing.

I could be wrong. mom?

 

The passage in Matthew also says

And ends with:

Jesus was teaching the law, Jesus buried us with the law, and Jesus fulfilled the law and did away with the law. Paul now says that all things are lawful but not all things are beneficial. Paul was not contradicting Jesus he was teaching under grace through the direction of the Holy Spirit. He said, to remarry wasn't a sin. You can try to excuse the words, but he spoke them and meant them.

~Lorelei

 

I was simply trying to let Scripture speak for itself rather than trying to discern her motives and give advice based off of my personal opinion which is why I left no comments simply a quote I felt relevant from God's Word.

Maybe when she knows it isn't sin she will still feel reservations and realize her concern was never about whether or not it was sin, but truly because she still loves him and is not ready to move on.

I don't know. What I do know is God's Word is where we should all turn for answers. We should not hide passages of truth so that we can encourage what we think is best.

~Lorelei

 

Lorelei,

This question sounds flip, but I'm honestly asking - do you believe that nothing is sinful any longer?

If not, please explain, more clearly, why you feel Christ's words don't apply.

 

We are all sinners, I never said nothing was sinful. What I said was we are not under the law. Jesus' teachings were clearly Kingdom teachings, the perfect law that no man could fulfill. He raised the bar. The OT did allow for a certificate of divorce and remarriage was not considered adultery. However, the right to divorce was being abused. They were no longer divorcing over real greivances, but simply because they wanted someone new. It was their heart that Jesus was judging.

If you feel so strongly about this passage, then do you suggest that people literally cut off their body parts if they do commit adultery? Why or why not? That passage is in the context of what we are discussing.

Do you believe Jesus came to fulfill the law or add new regulations to it?

Also, what do you suppose Paul meant by the words, "But if you do marry, you have not sinned?"

~Lorelei

 

Paul is addressing a real concern here. Some would say a divorced person could never remarry. They should legalistically obey that law regardless. Yet Paul says it is better to marry than to burn with lust. What is better? To secretly burn with lust or remarry and have a committed relationship and be more able to focus on the things of Christ.

Too many divorced people are legalistically encouraged to obey the "law" publically when Paul said that it was better that the 'secret' sin of lust be dealt with and to remarry anyway. I think sometimes we worry about appearances and cause others to struggle with even worse issues, such as lust. Religions that don't allow marrying usually see a great more deal sexual sin than those who allow it.

Paul said it was better to marry than to burn with lust and that remarrying was not a sin.

~Lorelei

 

Well then, I will keep you in my prayers (and him too). I wish you the very best in all things.

Lisa

 

To be sure of what you are doing, you first must try to find out if your man is a believer. Just going to a church and being water baptized means nothing as far as being in the Body of Christ. Neither saves.

I’d try reconciliation first, and not jeopardizing your position in any way, but I see you have. This, a divorce, to me would be the same as death, so try to treat it as such, and be patient for at least a year, which may have already passed. Patience and prayer in such important matters as this is certainly virtue. Put any romantic desires you may have away during this time, for your peace of mind.

I Corinthians 7:10-11, ”And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11. But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.” This to me puts the onus on the one departing, and the burden will be theirs.

Verses 12-17. “But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 16. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? 17. But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.”

Paul says we have the mind of Christ, which he evidently had, so I would take him at his word. We must learn, as did Paul to work out our own salvation. If you are “clean”, of which I’m sure you are, I don’t see why 10 and 11 wouldn’t keep you clean should you marry again.

We saved have spiritual peace, being OSAS, and I believe Paul is saying in 15 we should have peace in our home, and peace of mind, becoming free and not under bondage. If I were you, I would confront him on his salvation. Do you know if he has been unfaithful to you? If so, is he still? If not before, do you know if he is currently committing adultery. If these are so, then ask him why he is doing things the unsaved do, if he professes to be Christen, for we cannot stay blind to our sins when confronted with them. If he is saved, this direct approach will bring him to his knees, if he is a Christian.

Determine in your heart, not your carnal body what the Word of God is saying to you in this matter. What is considered a sin by others, may not be a sin after all. Remember Christ loves you, and being a Christian, whatever you decide, all your sins before, now, and then were taken care of at the Cross. Praise Him and thank Him for shedding His blood for you. What ever you do, you cannot become unsaved, but we can bring trouble to our bodies. Bless you, and don’t jump into anything for a while, and things will be shown you of what you should do. Christian faith, ituttut

 

That's true. But of course any one who's married and runs around on their spouse is also an adulterer and anyone who looks at someone else with lust in their heart has also committed adultery according to Jesus. How many married people can actually say they've never done this?

 

May I suggest, a good pot of you favorite coffee or tea, a notebook, your Bible, a box of tissues and www.marriagedivorce.com.

SpiritWalker