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Squirrels in houses of worship

Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor (Clean)' started by FriendofSpurgeon, May 31, 2016.

  1. FriendofSpurgeon

    FriendofSpurgeon Well-Known Member
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    In one town, squirrels started showing up in various houses of worship.

    The Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels. After much prayer, the elders determined the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

    At the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery.The Deacons met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

    The Episcopal Church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church . Two weeks late the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water slide.

    The Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy.They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

    Not much was heard from the Jewish Synagogue, but it's rumored that they took one squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel on their property since.
     
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  2. Alcott

    Alcott Well-Known Member
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    And then some got on the BaptistBoard, and zaac condemned them as bigots because they were all Brown-- not a red squirrel among them. And they started storing their caches of nuts, and crabtownboy told them they will be on Jesus' left for keeping their own proceeds and not being charitable.
     
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  3. tyndale1946

    tyndale1946 Well-Known Member
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    I just couldn't resist this song by Ray Stevens... The Mississippi Squirrel Revival... Y'all enjoy now!... Brother Glen

     
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  4. kyredneck

    kyredneck Well-Known Member
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    Thank you Brother Glenn I thoroughly enjoyed that!
     
  5. SovereignGrace

    SovereignGrace Well-Known Member
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    No. CBT was mad because those squirrels, those who toiled to gather those nuts, would not give some of them to those who were too lazy to gather them for themselves. He thinks even squirrels should adhere to socialism. ;)
     
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