That last name...

:laugh:...OK Kim, good enough reasons, I suppose I'd better take that back. :flower:

 

I have two problems with it, the scriptures say the head of the wife is her husband, so it could appear as rebellion to God's word, but a more serious problem would be children that would come along. I can just imagine the kids asking their mother why she has a different last name, it almosts suggests she is ashamed of their last name. It could also present embarrassing social situations for the kids, many other people might assume their original parents were divorced and might wrongly assume their true father is their step-father if they met only the mother, which could easily happen at school for example. I would not be comfortable with this.

 

Okay - then what about if the husband took the wife's name. Then everyone would be the same, too.

It is alarming to me that people find this to be an attitude of rebellion. This is a cultural custom from a period of time when women were considered to be less than human.

If she wants to take her husband's name, that's great. If she doesn't, get over it. They can be one flesh with two last names.

 

If the husband wants to take his wife's name I guess that would be ok, although that might cause him problems with his own family, especially his parents. It would probably be embarrassing for him with people who have known him all his life, and I can easily see him being ridiculed, especially by his male friends. It would also appear that the wife wore the pants in the family. Now I know the wife often truly does wear the pants, but traditionally women have taken our names to allow us to deceive ourselves we are the boss. Keeping her last name not only hints at rebellion against God, it could also suggest she is ashamed of her husband's name as I said before, it could also suggest a lack of true commitment to the marriage. With all these possible problems I would be hesitant to perform the wedding. I would absolutely want to talk to them about these possible problems if I felt I could perform it. This is not as simple a matter as some might think.

 

I have seen people hyphenate both last names together. For example, Teresa Smith marries Rob Williams. Her name becomes Teresa Smith-Williams and his name becomes Rob Smith-Williams. IMO, whatever the couple decides is OK.

I have heard of one family that did not have any sons. Their family name would have died off with the parents after the daughters married and took the husbands name. One guy that married one of them allowed her and the children to have her maiden name so the family name could continue on. There is nothing wrong with that in my opinion.

 

I ask that question in my premarital counseling...so I would know why they did what they did.

And IMHO, the "why" holds more information than the "what."

Another reason for requiring premarital counseling.

(yes, I've married folks in both cases...although the one case in which maiden names were kept involved an attorney with an existing practice...and she doesn't mind being referred to by the married name).