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The bible must have been written by women

Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor (Clean)' started by convicted1, Jul 16, 2014.

  1. convicted1

    convicted1 Active Member

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    You notice how times given in the bible are always debated? Such as:

    Daniel's 70 weeks aren't really weeks, but years....

    1,000 years isn't a literal 1,000 years, but a long period of time...

    An hour....John 5:28,29 isn't a literal hour, but referring to a certain time for judgement.....



    A myriad of women had to write these, because when my wife asks me to "rub her back a minute", I know it's not a literal minute, but a certain period of time....

    :laugh: :wavey: :saint:
     
    #1 convicted1, Jul 16, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 16, 2014
  2. RLBosley

    RLBosley Active Member

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    :laugh: Awesome. Gotta use that one. If I know my wife, she'll laugh... then punch my arm.
     
  3. convicted1

    convicted1 Active Member

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    Usually the back rubbing lasts for approximately 30 minutes and then she looks at me and asks, "Is that all I get?"


    She hasn't rubbed my back for 30 minutes in the last three years combined....:laugh:


    But she does have two herniated dics....one betwixt L3-L4, and the other betwixt L4-L5.....


    BTW, Brother Bosley, we're still lokking for you over "there"...wink wink....
     
  4. RLBosley

    RLBosley Active Member

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    Dude I know what you mean! Foot rubs too. I'm like "I'm sorry honey but I can't feel my hands anymore... give me a break." :laugh:

    Yes. I promise I will today!

    I tried yesterday and for some reason I couldn't sign up. It was weird, must have been internet settings I think.
     
  5. convicted1

    convicted1 Active Member

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    Every time you rub her feet, when you're finish, rub your hands in her face. She'll love you for it......she'll love the affliction of pain she administers to you....:laugh:


    Then she'll look at you and do this------->:wavey: s'long.....
     
  6. RLBosley

    RLBosley Active Member

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    Yeah... about that.

    I like being married...
    And breathing. :laugh:
     
  7. thisnumbersdisconnected

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    [​IMG]
     
  8. convicted1

    convicted1 Active Member

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    The next time you slap me in the back of the head I'm gonna....ouch...


    The next time you slap me in the back.....ouch


    The next time you slap me in.....ouch


    The next time you.....ouch


    The next time .....ouch.....






    Mods, make him stop it!!!!!
     
  9. thisnumbersdisconnected

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    There is only one thing to say to that ...

    [​IMG]

    I truly did not expect that as a response, but it made my morning, just in time to go tooling off in my pickup to review my subs' handiwork. Which will likely leave my frustrated. LOL
     
  10. convicted1

    convicted1 Active Member

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    In the "racetrack" we call life, people think they've left me in the dust, seeing me in their rearview mirror. Sadly, they don't realize I'm just about to put them one lap down......

    [​IMG]
     
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