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The Blooper Files

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by Gina B, Oct 24, 2004.

  1. rsr

    rsr <b> 7,000 posts club</b>
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    Many years ago, a visiting lay preacher preached on the Pharisees' attacking Jesus for dining with publicans and sinners.

    Except the preacher kept talking about "Republicans and sinners" explicitly, going into great detail about how Jesus had humbled himself to eat with such vile creatures as Republicans.

    One of the deacons, who had a habit of jangling a pocketful of change, was especially loud that morning.

    Funny, I don't remember that the preacher was ever invited back.
     
  2. Bro. James Reed

    Bro. James Reed New Member

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    Speaking of having a pocketful of change, there was an old PB preacher one time who used to always keep change in his pockets which he would jangle while he was preaching. This one particular morning he also had several matches in his pocket. He got to preaching and jangling that change all around and the matches ignited on the change. In the middle of the sermon he yells "I'm on fire!!!" One of the deacons then yelled in response "Preach it, Brother!"


    One Elder was preaching at an afternoon service before a baptism several years ago. He was preaching on baptism and turned around to point into the baptistry which was filling up with water. He tripped, fell in, and 'baptized' himself.


    My uncle is a preacher. He was preaching at a large meeting and a bug flew in his mouth. His response was "I swallered a gnat!" (You have to know him to hear his East Texas accident in that.)


    Our former Pastor was preaching at a nighttime meeting several years ago and was trying to relate a point. He tried to use an analogy from his childhood growing up outside of Ft. Worth. He would "lay in bed at night and smell the coyotes". Of course, he meant 'hear', but the congregation just lost it over that one.


    One of our regular visiting preachers, an older Elder from West Louisiana, was preaching several years ago. He was sweating quite profusely and reached in his coat pocket to get a handkerchief, but instead pulled out his wife's pantyhose which she had put in the pocket after services the week before. Needless to say, they didn't stay out very long before he shoved them back in.


    Those are all of the really funny ones I can think of now. I have not been preaching long enough myself to say or do anything really funny, but I'm sure as time goes by I'll be able to add my story to this list.
     
  3. rufus

    rufus New Member

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    In my younger days, I was preaching in a old high ceiling building where the heat went straight up. The pulpit was somewhat elevated and the wasps would swarm when the old building warmed up. As I was preaching, a wasp circled me several times. Finally, I raised my arm up very fast to sweep the wasp from my line of vision. In doing so, I caught my clip on tie and it landed on the floor in front of the altar. Every one held their composure until I was through, then we all had a good laugh.

    Rufus
     
  4. Deacon

    Deacon Well-Known Member
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    Years ago we had a good-ole-fashion church picnic at the nearby lake, with baptisms included. It drew quite a crowd of onlookers. What a great witnessing opportunity.

    Well, at the time we'd been having a drought for a few years and the lake was low.

    After preaching a brief message, the pastor waded into the lake and immediately began sinking in the thick mud. He eventually waded out quite a distance before managing to get enough water to 'mostly' submurge those being baptized (he splashed the parts that came up dry).

    Anyway those that were baptized truly looked like they had been buried and risen up.

    It was the most memorable baptism I've been at. ...and no, we haven't baptised there since.

    Rob
     
  5. Dr. Bob

    Dr. Bob Administrator
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    Evangelist Keith Ward from Redding, CA (now with the Lord) was poking fun at "baby" Christians who were adults physically but wanted to stay babies.

    He put his thumb in his mouth like he was sucking on it. And when he pulled it out, stuck to it was his upper denture, which then flipped out into the front pew.

    He was a giant of a man (6'10" former Wyoming Highway Patrolman who got saved late in life) but truly DID look like a baby then. He hammed it up, too, and all got a great chuckle.
     
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