The Professor Has No Brain

pinoybaptist · Mar 13, 2008

I got this from a PB list I am subscribed to.
I don't know where else to put this, so I'm posting it here for everbody to enjoy.
Mods, feel free to move it if you need to.

A science professor begins his school year with a lecture to the
students, "Let me explain the problem science has with religion."
The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then
asks one of his new students to stand.

"You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"

"Yes sir," the student says.

"So you believe in God?"

"Absolutely. "

"Is God good?"

"Sure! God's good."

"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"

"Yes."

"Are you good or evil?"

"The Bible says I'm evil."

The professor grins knowingly. "Aha! The Bible !" He considers for a
moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over
here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would
you try?"

"Yes sir, I would."

"So you're good..!"

"I wouldn't say that."

"But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you
could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't."

The student does not answer, so the professor continues. "He
doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer,
even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good?
Hmmm? Can you answer that one?"

The student remains silent.

"No, you can't, can you?" the professor says. He takes a sip of
water from a glass on his desk to giv e the student time to relax.
"Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?"

"Er...yes," the student says.

"Is Satan good?"

The student doesn't hesitate on this one. "No."

"Then where does Satan come from?"

The student falters. "From God"

"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there
evil in this world?"

"Yes, sir."

"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?"

"Yes."

"So who created evil?" The professor continued, "If God created
everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according
to the principle that our wor ks define who we are, then God is
evil."

Again, the student has no answer. "Is there sickness? Immorality?
Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this
world?"

The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."

"So who created them?"

The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his
question. "Who created them?" There is still no answer. Suddenly the
lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is
mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues onto another student. "Do you
believe in Jesus Christ, son?"

The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor, I do."

The old man stops pacing. "Science says you have five senses you use
to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever see n
Jesus?"

"No sir. I've never seen Him."

"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"

"No, sir, I have not."

"Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your
Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or
God for that matter?"

"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."

"Yet you still believe in him?"

"Yes."

"According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable
protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to
that, son?"

"Nothing," the student replies. "I only have my faith."

"Yes, faith," the professor repeats. "And that is the problem
sci ence has with God. There is no evidence, only faith."

The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of
His own. "Professor, is there such thing as heat?"

"Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."

"And is there such a thing as cold?"

"Yes, son, there's cold too."

"No sir, there isn't."

The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The
room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain.
"You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat,
unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't
have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below
zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that.
There is no such thing as cold; otherwise w e would be able to go
colder than the lowest -458 degrees."

"Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or
transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or
transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of
heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the
absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in
thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of
heat, sir, just the absence of it."

Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom,
sounding like a hammer.

"What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?"

"Yes," the professor replies without hesitation. "What is night if
it isn't darkness?"

"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; i t is the
absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright
light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have
nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we
use to define the word."

"In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make
darkness darker, wouldn't you?"

The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This
will be a good semester. "So what point are you making, young man?"

"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed
to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed."

The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. "Flawed?
Can you explain how?"

"You are working on the premise of duality," the student
explain s. "You argue that there is life and then there's death; a
good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as
something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even
explain a thought."

"It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less
fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life
is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a
substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the
absence of it."

"Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they
evolved from a monkey?"

"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young
man, yes, of course I do."

"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"

The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he< BR>realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.

"Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and
cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you
not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a
preacher?"

The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the
commotion has subsided.

"To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student,
let me give you an example of what I mean."

The student looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who
has ever seen the professor's brain?" The class breaks out into
laughter.

"Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt
the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain? No
one appears to h ave done so. So, according to the established rules
of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you
have no brain, with all due respect, sir."

"So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your
lectures, sir?"

Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student,
his face unreadable.

Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. "I guess
you'll have to take them on faith."

"Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists
with life," the student continues. "Now, sir, is there such a thing
as evil?"

Now uncertain, the professor responds, "Of course, there is. We see
it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man.
It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the
wor ld. These manifestations are nothing else but evil."

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least
it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It
is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to
describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the
result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in
his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or
the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down.
Click to expand...

exscentric · Mar 13, 2008

:thumbs: What is the source of the account?

pinoybaptist · Mar 13, 2008

exscentric said:

:thumbs: What is the source of the account?
Click to expand...

it was posted by one of the list subscribers..he didn't say where he got it from, just that he got it from the internet.
Forgot to add that information. sorry. fixed that now.

exscentric · Mar 13, 2008

Just googled:

1. author unknown
2. no source listed
3. no source listed
4. no source listed
5. no source listed
6. no source listed
7. the student has been transformed into a Muslim

guess it is a story for all peoples not just Christians :thumbs:

Still good :laugh:

pinoybaptist · Mar 13, 2008

exscentric said:

Just googled:

1. author unknown
2. no source listed
3. no source listed
4. no source listed
5. no source listed
6. no source listed
7. the student has been transformed into a Muslim

guess it is a story for all peoples not just Christians :thumbs:

Still good :laugh:
Click to expand...

how do you google stuff like this, bro ?
i mean, what keywords do you use ?

exscentric · Mar 13, 2008

I try some phrase that I think would be unique to the piece. Sometimes you have to try a couple. This one I typed in "heard the professor's brain" and I think all of the first listings were the account.

I type in model numbers on computers at times and that works most of the time, except when that number happens to be important to a scientist and you get pages of scientific journals :laugh: or it is something important in German and you get listings on German websites.

Baptist Believer · Mar 13, 2008

exscentric said:

:thumbs: What is the source of the account?
Click to expand...

I imagine it was a sermon illustration that someone mistook for being real and has been passed on as a urban legend ever since.

I first heard it more than 25 years ago.

Dr. Bob · Mar 13, 2008

I send out daily emails to a "list" of 5000 of my closest friends. 99% of such humor or stories cannot be traced.

Thankfully. Will Rogers never met the guy who made up such stories and then foisted them off as truth.

If you believe THAT story, then let me tell you about when Obama was a little boy . . .

:tonofbricks:

pinoybaptist · Mar 13, 2008

But those things in that illustration/story that the student supposedly told the professor, about light and dark, heat and cold, are they scientifically correct ?
And this last part here, what do you think of it ?

"To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least
it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It
is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to
describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the
result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in
his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or
the darkness that comes when there is no light."

Baptist Believer · Mar 14, 2008

pinoybaptist said:

But those things in that illustration/story that the student supposedly told the professor, about light and dark, heat and cold, are they scientifically correct ?
And this last part here, what do you think of it ?

"To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least
it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It
is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to
describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the
result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in
his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or
the darkness that comes when there is no light."
Click to expand...

Evil is the creation of those who are in rebellion against God. It is the corruption of what is good.

The Professor Has No Brain

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