The reason youth are leaving our churches

So...the only reasons that saved teenagers ever leave the church is because of worship style?

 

your active in the community Guy....you have no idea how many of these churches are not & are in fact insulted when they get asked. I spend much of my own time taking people to the county seat to collect social services & food stamps...people who were in great economic shape two or three years ago. We are at soup kitchens, AA meetings, Market Street Missions etc. My family takes seriously James 2:14-18.

God bless you.

 

I think you have to show them Jesus & by action. Youth can sniff out some phony baloney Pastor & the big word they always use is hypocrite. I think a kid with the heart for Christ will go thru walls for a guy who is sincere but will turn off to phony's. Years ago, a church I attended had a little old pastor who would go way out of his way to get you right with the Lord. Like a hound of hell he would be at a neighbor's home who had lost a young wife to cancer & had taken to drink to ease his pain. The man had two young kids & Pastor would be knocking at his door at 10 PM cause he knew the guy was drunk & in deep depression. He literally forced the guy to mend his ways & become a good Christian & thus a good father. I can tell you many more stories about the guy & he was loved in the neighborhood because he walked the walk & talked the talk. Thats Christ in action.....thats what me & mine love, respect & follow.

 

No it doesn't. You have to be careful. Christ is the savor of death to the carnal mind. To the world, the more Christlike you are, the more you smell like a rotting corpse.

But Christ is the savor of life to those who are saved. And He is that savor not because we are presenting a "compelling portrait," (whatever that means) but because they are made alive by the Spirit, and see Him in the simple preaching of the Gospel.

Teens are leaving the church because they're worldly. Christ stinks to them because they're dead themselves. If they were spiritual, they'd either stay or find a church where the Gospel is being preached.

 

Like I said, you can preach the gospel all you want, most can since that is not the problem. The problem is in the living the gospel. Kids dont see you living it & they will not be there with you. Especially in these times of need, where so many are out of work, where families are torn apart, where people are being thrown out of homes etc. These kids know!

 

The church is only as strong as the FAMILIES within. People want to blame the pastors, the worship style, etc. Since when are we no longer responsible for our own decisions? It's not the pastor's job to parent the kids. It's the parents job to bring their children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

When the parents are weak, teach the kids it's okay to skip church for football, do not live their faith at home, well, the kids are going to follow in their footsteps. No matter how we are raised or what the church did or didn't do, we ourselves make our own spiritual decisions. It's a decision to follow Christ or follow the many distractions in the world.

So often I see parents NOT doing their job, who want to bring their kids to my dh to "fix" whatever problem is there. Sorry, but the church is not a "fix it" station like a auto body shop. The Sunday School teachers, youth leaders, and pastor cannot be expected to "undo" in one hour what the home and school have taught all week.

 

Thats true...a few weeks ago the head deacon comes into the church on Sunday with his family & the one kid is dressed in a soccer uniform. Half way through the service, they all get up & exit the church because the kid has a game. And the deacon is the usher that day. Priorities Priorities.

 

rbell, if you READ my post you will see the reason you highlighted came at the END of a list of reasons.

By just picking out one, and then trying to start an argument, you seem to be signalling just a desire to fight over ONE issue.

Address the rest and then maybe we can discuss, debate, or agree to disagree.

 

You gave three reasons.

Only one involved saved kids (the other two, kids being unsaved, I thought was self-explanatory).

Thus, by deduction, that would be the only reason saved kids are leaving the church--according to your line of thinking.


Furthermore, I'm not looking for an arguement. Didn't mention specific worship styles, pro or con. Just trying to understand your point.

 

Mho

The church needs to stop trying to keep up with or compete with the world. The reality is we cant and the fact is we were never meant to. It should be the very opposite. We should be different to the world. Unique and authentic. When we embrace our differentness we will discover that we actually possess something fresh and relevant in Christ to offer hurting and hungry people that appeals to them and fulfills us far more than anything in the world ever could.

 

Sorry but hurting & hungry people cant hear you when they are dieing, in a ton of pain and/or hungry. Thats when they need a roof over their heads, a warm dry place to sleep & food in their belly. You must 1st address their flesh needs. If your moving into an area where your a missionary you will see first hand that they are struggling just to stay alive. Then after youve displayed your willingness to feed & clothe them, to touch the flesh & help them there, then maybe they will listen to your heady faith & ideas. The world might not respond to your Christianity until it is strongly connected to your love. They will believe life that is given & received. Be humble, be loving & see the face of Christ in everyone you meet. God go with you.

 

When people inside of the church stop complaining and start reaching out then they will reach youth. The average age of the congregation I pastor is less than 1/2 of my age. I am the oldest person in the church. We are making an effort to disciple people and teach them to do ministry. I meet with young people who are many years younger than I am. I know a pastor who started a church at the age of about 52, 10 years ago and today has 800 in attendance. He also meets with several college students each week.

The church nearly died one year before I came when the educated snobs who had all the answers fought with each other. Most of them are gone. Now we have people who are working and are excited. People are being discipled and others are coming to Christ.

The method is simple. Get dirty in reaching others and doing ministry. If you do then you will be surrounded by them.

Making disciples levels the playing field. The intellectual snobs must reach people just like the lesser educated. That means they must reach people and not just proclaim their educational superiority. It has worked every time to cause the trouble to leave and keep those who want to learn to make disciples.

Youth will come where the adults are serious and care. I expect nothing from youth. It is about giving to them.

 

you misunderstand me my friend. Firstly i was using the word hungry in a figurative sense referring to spiritual hunger and searching for meaning. The OP question was WHY ARE YOUTH LEAVING OUR CHURCH. I dont think many are leaving because we havent given them a chicken sandwich! but they are searching for meaning and fulfillment. Secondly, unless u are working in a poverty striken community, which not everyone is, what ur saying is irrelevant. There are many kinds of hunger but ultimately unless spirtual hunger is rated you are wasting ur time and ur efforts are in vain hn an eternal context.

 

We cannot put a spiritual hunger in our youth. We can be serious and caring, but for many; we cannot compete with the world that surrounds our young folks.

If a young person is in pain, is desperate, or feels lost; that person will be willing to receive help on all plains. If the youth is living a well-fed, well-clothed and sheltered life; we can't inspire him or her to be spiritually hungry. They can fill their time with mind-numbing things and ignore God. We deal with the MTV generation, X-Boxes, PS3's, and IPods. Kids want to be entertained until they find themselves hurting.

They don't want to be taught by obvious hypocrites. In the struggle between choosing MTV or Church, the battle won't even take place unless the child is looking for help. If the child is fortunate enough to have Christian parents (real ones, not the in-name-only type), there is hope.

There is another problem, however. The youth who want to claim Christianity are no different than some of our older generation. They find it easier to deal with the churches that offer cafeteria-style christianity. That is what some of our modern churches offer.

Just over a year ago, I was searching for books at a Christian book store. I really wanted to feed my new spirit and thought I'd see if I could find some good books. I spotted one that seemed to fit me to a "T." It was called something like "Meeting Jesus Again for the First Time." Pure trash. Halfway through this modern day idea of God, I threw the book out. Even I, as a new Christian, new better than what this preacher was writing down. I'm afraid that this preacher is not alone in the world. His idea of Jesus might fit really well with the MTV generation.

I, personally, am powerless to do more than to live an example of a Christian. That is what I do for my son, daughter and grandkids. I speak to them of Jesus and show them what He has done for me. As much as I wish to push them, I don't. I am waiting, and I think that He is, too.

God knew that these days would come.

 

Just a quick thought--our church is very involved reaching out to the poverty stricken. They want our food, our money, our love, our help, but not our Jesus. As one put it (roughly paraphrased) "if I get saved I have to become a giver."

 

I am working in a poverty stricken area....right here in northern New Jersey & the same rules apply. And if a Pastor doesnt work in poverty stricken areas, does he not show lack of compassion for those down on their luck? What better way to show the entire congregation including the youth his seriousness to go the extra step.

 

When a pastor "works" in a poverty stricken area, does that means he preaches or hands out money?

You don't need a "poverty stricken area" to preach.

 

It is sort of funny... We preach like crazy (but often ineffectively) and when it doesn't work we say one of two things:

If Arminian, we say that we didn't do a good enough job of convincing (or conversely that they didn't do a good enough job of hearing).

If Calvinist, we say that they are not of the elect.

In reality, neither are true. We probably "preached right past" them. Or re-hashed the exact same sermon with a different verse for the 50th time. Or preached a "noun" sermon (just disseminated information) instead of a "verb" sermon (puts the listener in the story and answers the "so what" question with actions). Or, were just plain so out of touch with culture and worldview that we're preaching to a crowd that died 20 years ago...

I've watched and listened to hundreds of these sort of preachers over my years in church work and church consulting. I'm a solid believer and sometimes I'd like to scream and pull my own hair out! Music SO bad that everyone hates it, but we get all "religious" and let Aunt Betty keep 2-finger-plunking on the piano while we turn to page 347 in the hymnal with the cover falling off. Pictures on the wall that were put there by people who's tombstones fell over 30 years ago... You get the picture.

We don't have to be "cool" to attract a crowd and preach the Word, but we also shouldn't be so far away from anything that our target audience can identify with that we are absolutely ineffective. If we spend half as much time exegeting the congregation and target audience as we do (or don't...) the text, we'd be far ahead!

Let me give you an example...

A missionary, full of zeal and knowledgeable in the Scriptures heads off to Northern India. He arrives in his village and sets up shop. Gets to know some folks and invites them to hear the gospel. Eager for a new experience, they show up and bring friends. Our missionary is excited! God is blessing already! He opens the Word and starts to preach about eternal life, and for some reason, he sees the crowd start to shut down. Body language indicates that they are not hearing what he is saying. Arms are crossed, eyes are starting to squint. Lots of shuffling, and it becomes clear that they are now there only out of respect for the new man in the village. He quickly wraps up the sermon and then tries to discover what happened, how he so offended these formerly friendly people, but they will not talk to him and shuffle out.

What happened? What did he do wrong? Was it his dress? The music? It couldn't be the gospel! God said that the gospel was for everyone, and if he was faithful to preach the true Word, it would not return void! What? What? What...

Tries again... Same thing...

What?

















What? He never grasps the fact that everything these people know tells them that "eternal life" is what they are trying with all their miserable existence to avoid, and here comes this smiling man telling them that if they accept what it is that he teaches that they can have "eternal life!" They run!

His failure was not in preaching the gospel. Not in his dress , music, etc., though all of those can also be at odds with the local culture and a hindrance to the true sharing of the gospel -- people are not immune to what THEY think is normal...

His failure was in not knowing his target audience and preaching to them something that was anathema to their worldview! They could not hear anything else he said after he used the phrase "eternal life." They struggled through painful degrading life after life (in their system of belief) where they could only face reincarnation to do it all over again until they finally were able (somehow, by great sacrifice and effort) to "get it right" and finally escape this endless "eternal life" cycle into the nothingness of Nirvana and along comes this IDIOT who doesn't realize this and he hurts the cause of Christ in this village.