The Role of the Husband

Well, I have to go against the group here. Allan, you quoted I Cor 11:3 and I Tim 3:5. While I Cor 11:3 is a good verse on how a woman should submit to her husband I fail to see how the qualifications of a Bishop should somehow communicate this responsibility to the husband for his wife's actions. Does he share some responsibility? of course, he must be the husband and man God commands him to be but he cannot be wholy responsible for his wife.
What about Galatians 3:28

I believe that like this verse says, we are all equal in Christ Jesus. I have some responsibility for my wife, my family or my congregation. Just like a schoolteacher has some responsibility for their class. But ultimately they will answer for themselves. I have a responsibility to be a good teacher, leader, and example, but there is a point where my responsibility ends and their individual responsibility takes over, be they my children, my wife, or my church members.

Allan, you said

I could not disagree with this more. This is the view that was force fed to me as a young IFBer and nearly destroyed my ministry and my family. Christ is not ultimately accountable for my sactification, I am. Yes he gives me the tools to make this possible but I am responsible to Christ for my own actions. The husband does have the responsiblity to create a home environment that allows his wife to become who God intends her to be, but that is where his responsiblity ends. If she does become a separated, sanctified woman then it is a glory to him, just as we bring glory to God when we live holy, but it is not God's fault when I sin.

 

What is my greatest responsibility as a husband? It is to love my wife. (Eph 5:25)

Not to rule over her as a despot, train her like a pedigreed dog, or even provide for her like a piece of livestock, my responsibility is to love her, “Even as Christ loved the church.” That is undeserved, unconditional, unending love. This is the love that Christ had for us, “While we were yet sinners.”

What is the greatest miracle? What is the one event that defines the story of humankind, the one event in all time and eternity that shows us the nature of God himself? Was it when He healed the sick or raised the dead? NO. Was it when he told us to “love one another” and “forsake all and follow me?” NO. Was it when he fed the multitudes or walked on water? NO. It was, of course when he gave himself for us. People like me, who did not earn or deserve his love. People like me who were unworthy of his love. He loved us and gave himself for us. Without that all is vanity.

That is what we are supposed to mirror in our marriages.

The same is true of pastors and their flocks. What is the greatest responsibility of a pastor? Is it to preach the word and condemn sin? Is it to evangelize the lost? I am not saying these are not responsibilities, I am asking, what is the greatest responsibility? I would say it is to love his congregation, even as Christ loved us, to share their trials and sorrows, to help them make sense of our existence when death and sickness, poverty and sorrow rule their lives. Anyone can preach and evangelize. The pastor earns his stripes not in the pulpit but in the funeral home, hospital, nursing home, and living rooms.

As he shows his unconditional love for his wife the husband also supports her. He is there with her through life’s sorrows. When death comes and takes a child, when jobs and homes are lost, in times of sickness and sorrow, the couple that follows this example draws together and supports each other. We all love the happy times, the vacations and picnics and I wish all of you many happy days. But the character of our marriages and families are not revealed in the happy days but in the long sorrow filled ones. That is where the foundation of our commitments to one another are forged and where the foundations are lain that will stand the test of time.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

At least that's my view. I will get down of the soap box now.

 

I think you misunderstood the meaning behind being held responsible and thus accountable. Let me try again

The husband is responsible (of and to both the wife and children) by affording them all things necessary to be that which God desires. Thus since it is the husbands resposiblity to make these things present and able to be used he is accountable regarding that responsiblity for spiritual growth. He is not responsible for their sins but is responsible to give them everything spiritual or physical (if necessary) that can keep them in a walk with God. It is this aspect where 1 Tim 3:5 comes into play in relation to the term 'rule'. He is to 'rule' his household well. Does that mean the pastor can not have any unbelieving children or that his wife can't have her own opinions? No, it refers to two things specifically in context - 1. there is a distingushable order within the home (he must 'rule' it well) 2. that he must take the responsiblity over the home.

It is for these reasons that the rest of the verse states "..how shall he take care of the church of God?)". Do you see that the care of the church falls to him? Now what does that 'care' entail - babysitting or just preaching? or is it making sure that all things necessary for the spiritual grownth afforded them? I think it is the latter. Therefore just as the pastor is resposible and so accountable for the church just as the husband is also resposible and thus accountable for his family - not for their sins nor that do anything but that they always have before them both an example of and those things necessary to both be and walk before the Lord in holiness.

Again, refer above.

I believe however you're taking that verse to an extreme place the context does not provide for it. The context of the passage is salvation and that God does not exclude anyone in relation to 'salvation'. However to postulate that it refers to equality becomes quite evident through out the scriptures that this is not the intended meaning of the verse. We see this in those verses which the scripture which states the husband is the head of the home (no equality there) and that the pastor (a man) is to know how to rule his home just as he is to do so in the church. And many others that clearly illistrate a definate distinction between a man and woman or husband and wife regarding authority. It is not that she has 'no' authority for she is his help-mate and so authority must be present in order to do such. But she is 'his' help-mate which again distinquishes an authority higher than her own.
Actaully you even state much when you said you have "some responsiblity" for them, showing that you are in fact held accountable for them in some respect.

Again refer to the first part of this post from me, you missed my point entirely brother.

However, Christ is in fact resposible for you sanctification and let me explain why. He is responsible in that he must provide all that is necessary in order for you to be sanctified. If he does not and you are present before God as one who did all that you could with what you had - but still found lacking ; to whom do you think God will hold accountable - you or Christ. Christ is held accountable because it was his responsiblity to do that which was with in his power to do. You did all you could with what you had even though it was not enough because Christ 'would' have failed in his resposiblity.

Now turn that around and say that Christ gave you everything (which He abundantly has) but you don't do much with it. Standing before God who would be accountable? You will for Christ has done that was required.

What about a half and half - Christ only gave some and you only did a portion of that some. You are both held accountable and therefore guilty. You would bothl be judged according to that which you were responsible for because it was within your power to do.

Thus Christ is responsible for your sanctification. But Christ not only has givin everything to us that we might walk in sanctification, He also walks with us in sanctification via the Holy Spirit that we are not left to ourselves. Thus it shows an additional aspect to the husbands resposibilty. And He has sanctified Himself that we might be sanctified through Him, again another aspect of the husbands resposiblity to be sanctified himself that he might lead his family in like manner.

 

Men should we judge ourselves first? Matthew 7:3-5

Ephesians 5
1Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; 2And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour. 3But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; 4Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks. 5For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. 6Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. 7Be not ye therefore partakers with them. 8For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light: 9(For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth) 10Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord. 11And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. 12For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret. 13But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light. 14Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light. 15See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, 16Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. 17Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. 18And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; 19Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; 20Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; 21Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. 22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

This chapter is very instructive on the role of the husband. Verses 1-20 are very informative of what the husband is supposed to do. They are instructive of how submitted to the Lord the husband is to be. As fallen men we are prone to want to jump to judging our wives for their resistance and shortcoming in submission to us but very slow to judge ourselves in respect to our submission to our head Christ the Lord. Our first priority is to live lives that exemplify submission.

How well are we living out the things mentioned in these verses?
How closely are we following God?
How becoming are we as saints?
How much like Christ are we walking in love, giving ourselves as a sacrifice to God?
How well have we removed the unfruitful works of darkness from our lives?
How well have we become light in the Lord walking as children of light?
How well do we walk as wise men understanding and performing the will of God?
How well do we exemplify Spirit filled godly living?
How well do we exemplify thankfulness unto God?
How does God evaluate our personal submission to Him in all things?

Paul instructed Timothy to be an example of the believer; the Husband is to be the prime example of submission in the home.
If we will judge ourselves first we will be more gracious in our judgment of our wives and children.
Do we place a higher demand on the submission of our wives and children to us than we do on our submission to our Lord?

As we submit one to another as verse 21 instructs, it is Christ who submits to the Father, the husband submits to Christ, the wife submits to her husband and the children submit to parents.

Men let’s be sure it is not us who are dropping the ball when it comes to submitting to our head.

God help us to be the men you want us to be.

John :godisgood:

 

We stand before God for ourselves and not another. That means husband and wife also.

BBob,

 

BBob, Do we not also stand before God as men, women, husbands, wives, children, employers, employees, teachers, pastors, students, etc?

Do we not each answer to God for our conduct according to our particular individual standing?

James 3:1 My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment.

js

 

That is standing for yourself and not another. I can't stand before God as a wife, but I do stand before him as a husband. My point is, I can't stand before God for my wife, she will have to do that herself. Salvation is a individual thing.

BBob,

 

BBob, Have you read something here that makes you believe other posters think they can be saved for their wife? Placing faith in Christ for salvation is individual but that does not negate that others are influnced to believe and be faithful by the testimony prayers and conduct of others including their husband.

Doesn't the Bible have specific commands for husbands, wives, children, pastors etc?​

js

 

Have no idea what you are talking about, sorry.

BBob,

 

Yes, I think I did, thanks for the clarification Allan.

 

Eph 5:25-27
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

I've always seen these verses as a powerful image of the role of the husband. Christ loved the church so much he gave up his life for the church. My role is to love my wife so much to be willing to give up my life for her benefit.