1. Welcome to Baptist Board, a friendly forum to discuss the Baptist Faith in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to all the features that our community has to offer.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

To the pastors here: Would You marry unbelievers, or Mixed marriages?

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Yeshua1, Aug 26, 2013.

  1. Yeshua1

    Yeshua1 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2012
    Messages:
    20,375
    Ratings:
    +620
    Faith:
    Baptist
    Mixed as in one is a christian, other is not as of yet?

    Wouldn't it be right to marry even if not saved, in order to make ;them official in the sight of God?
     
  2. righteousdude2

    righteousdude2 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2007
    Messages:
    10,705
    Ratings:
    +379
    Faith:
    Baptist
    No....

    ...before we meet, I let them know up front, that I only marry those who are born-again! I can't be party to [or have the blood of their off-spring on my hands] their giving birth to children who may in fact be brought up in a non-believing family! :type:
     
  3. annsni

    annsni Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    May 30, 2006
    Messages:
    20,484
    Ratings:
    +1,011
    My husband will marry two saved people - if the parents are in agreement and we meet for premarital counseling with the couple for 6 sessions before they marry.

    My husband will marry two unsaved people because they are not unequally yoked. We will do some premarital counseling with them as well. He has done a few for people in our community and it's opened a number of great ministry opportunities. He will always bring the Gospel into the wedding as well. Hey, that's what you get when you ask a Christian pastor to marry you!

    My husband will not marry an unsaved person and a saved person.
     
  4. salzer mtn

    salzer mtn Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2012
    Messages:
    1,581
    Ratings:
    +42
    The lost can go to the justice of the peace as far as i'm concerned. Why would the lost want to be married by a preacher anyway.
     
  5. Zaac

    Zaac Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2012
    Messages:
    13,757
    Ratings:
    +586
    I make it a point to NOT do it. Marriage is supposed to be a covenant between a husband, wife and Jesus Christ. I can't preside over it if Jesus is NOT the foundation.

    I don't even do marriages for divorced people whose ex-spouses are still alive because I don't know that God allows me to.
     
  6. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
    Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2003
    Messages:
    22,734
    Ratings:
    +667
    Faith:
    Baptist
    Disagree on both points.
    Ann gave a good counter point to your first statement - as far as between a man and a woman. A marrage is much better when the Lord is included. Are you then saying a couple are living in sin if they marry and are not saved?

    As far as divorce - suppose a Christian couple wanted you to marry them - and both of their former spouses had remarried?

    Lets take this a step further. Suppose a married couple (both previously married) wanted to join your church. Would you reccomend they divorce and re-marry their orginal spouse?
     
  7. Zaac

    Zaac Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2012
    Messages:
    13,757
    Ratings:
    +586
    I'm saying I was left here to point people to Jesus. Getting them married while they are still going to hell accomplishes nothing.

    Nope. Not happening.

    Come on in. But he won't be a deacon or in a position of leadership and neither will she. I believe there are consequences to divorce and if the other spouse is not dead, it just is what it is.
     
  8. Dr. Bob

    Dr. Bob Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2000
    Messages:
    29,480
    Ratings:
    +86
    Faith:
    Baptist
    Our county has no Justice of the Peace so the Immigration Department and County Clerk's office call on me.

    I always do premarital counseling. I will marry two Christians. I will marry two unregenerate. I will not marry "mixed" couples. I will marry people of the same race (both humans, the only race) no matter ethnicity. I will marry in cases where there is divorce or pre-martial cohabiting.

    I always do a religious-based ceremony, with the Gospel and with prayer. There are judges available for totally secular marriages

    But marriage is GOOD for society. It helps people "do right" and I am happy to assist them in correct choices (rather than shacking up). I do not give false assurance that because a person has a religious (vs a civil) ceremony that it is any guarantee of a successful marriage.

    I also have served on the board of the food bank, help at the rescue mission, support the crisis pregnancy centers, etc. All of which are GOOD for society, even though not all the people or all the workers are Christian or evangelical.

    I count this as an almsdeed for my fellow man (and woman) ;)
     
  9. Earth Wind and Fire

    Earth Wind and Fire Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2010
    Messages:
    19,934
    Ratings:
    +366
    Faith:
    Baptist
    How do you know they are lost?
     
  10. JohnDeereFan

    JohnDeereFan Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2009
    Messages:
    4,644
    Ratings:
    +27
    Faith:
    Baptist
    While I, too, would be hesitant to marry unbelievers, the Bible does indicate that God considers marriage between unbelievers equally valid.

    If not, then why would we consider divorce between non-Christians a sin?

    ((Incidentally, when I say I'm "hesitant" to marry unbelievers, our church just changed our constitution and by-laws to affirm that we will only perform marriage for believers who are members of our church or one of our sister churches in order to protect our church from harassment from homosexual activists, so I really wouldn't be able to do it in the context of our church anyway.))
     
  11. Dr. Bob

    Dr. Bob Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2000
    Messages:
    29,480
    Ratings:
    +86
    Faith:
    Baptist
    John 4:16-18
    Jesus said to her, "Go, call your husband, and come here."

    The woman answered him, "I have no husband."
    Jesus said to her, "You are right in saying, 'I have no husband';
    for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true."

    She was presently unmarried (shacking up). She had been married five times. Would anyone say she was "regenerate"? No.

    But she was "married". Marriage is not just a spiritual commitment, but an action of society.


    While it is up to the conscience of an ordained elder if he would desire to perform a non-Christian wedding for the sake of society, I have no issue with it.
     
  12. annsni

    annsni Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    May 30, 2006
    Messages:
    20,484
    Ratings:
    +1,011
    In the cases that my husband has done, they were community weddings. One couple was friends with a woman we know from the yacht club who is unsaved. Hubby did her husband's funeral (he was a man we used to race with) and now these friends of hers from Sweden wanted to get married here. So they had it at the yacht club and needed a pastor - and since hubby is a member there and she knows him, she asked him. Many people want a minister to do the wedding because it just seems more "right" to them. :)

    So that is an example of how it might happen. It's kind of like having a pastor on call for funerals of people they don't know - pastors get to be known in a small community and are asked to do pastoral things even for the unsaved.
     
  13. Mexdeaf

    Mexdeaf New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2005
    Messages:
    7,051
    Ratings:
    +0
    And to that I can only add - "Amen!"
     
  14. sag38

    sag38 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2008
    Messages:
    4,394
    Ratings:
    +1
    I go on a case by case basis. I am not going to be boxed in by a rigid set of parameters. As a general rule I do not marry un-repented cohabiting couples, couples who are unequally yolked, or adults to teenagers. As a general rule I do not perform ceremonies for couples that I have not met with at least four times. I am very reluctant to perform last minute ceremonies. I have made exceptions but rarely. I have filled in at a wedding chapel a couple of times but did not feel comfortable and never will again. The pay was good but I felt like I was just a "marrying sam" rather than a minister of the gospel.
     
  15. Yeshua1

    Yeshua1 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2012
    Messages:
    20,375
    Ratings:
    +620
    Faith:
    Baptist
    Marriage between a man and a woman is NOT a christian institution per say, for did not the Lord ordain that wass how famalies were to be handled, regardless if saved or lost? That the institution was given to mankind in general?

    So have no problem with a Pastor marrying two lost persons, as he would be doing the mandate of the Lord to honor the marriage, to have it a valid relationship in sight of God...

    Would have a problem with him marrying saint and sinner, as God warns us against unequaling yoking together like that!
     
Loading...