Total Depravity and Sin

Help me understand.. The book The Vanishing Conscience hits hard on this doctrine and its all about sin, wickedness, evil, and the book is very Biblical. However perhaps the book focuses too much on it that it misses the concept of grace or maybe thats just me. Total Depravity is taught in the Bible, but so is grace (Eph 2:8-10) and God's love for sinners (Jn 3:16-17). The book God Loves You does not seek to make intellectual arguments to persuade the sinner (unlike books by Norman Geisler) for it hits on the 10 commandments in a chapter, it has a chapter on 2 Cor 5:17 and the transformed life, it talks about Hell, punishment, but it has a major focus on grace, and God's love for the sinner. The book does not ignore total depravity, but it does not overly focus on it and miss the whole concept of grace. The author is not promoting a "easy-believism" where all one does is say a prayer and have no transformed life, however advocates of Lordship will no question accuse him of that.

So am I confused on the concepts taught in these 2 great books? I am not getting much intellectual argument on Facebook as people do not think theologically these days and very few read deep subjects or think Biblically these days. This board is great for intellectual discussions and for understanding of theology. Many on FB do not read deep books, and are very feeling orientated with a major emphasis on relativism.