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Trust

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Reformed, Jan 16, 2020.

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  1. Reformed

    Reformed Well-Known Member
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    I had a lengthy discussion last evening with a good friend about the issue of trust. He asked me, "How many people do you completely trust?" I thought for a few moments and then responded to his question with, "Not many." He drilled down on my answer and said, "Is it more or less than five people? Answer honestly." I said, "Less than five." Perhaps that is an indictment on me. There are not many people that I trust completely. To be fair, I have not always been trustworthy and have deserved others being skeptical of me. So, as Christians, how are we supposed to deal with issues of trust? What does scripture have to say about it? If trust is breached can it be earned back? Trust and forgiveness are the same things, although they are somewhat connected. How does true forgiveness impact trust?
     
    #1 Reformed, Jan 16, 2020
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  2. Deacon

    Deacon Well-Known Member
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    I’d say that trust is something that’s earned based upon past situations.

    I trust some people about some things, and the same people I might not trust with something else.

    As we get older our trust of other people diminishes.
    ...because there are so many people trying to take advantage of us.​

    Sure is nice to be able to turn to SomeOne we can trust when everything around us appears to be untrustworthy.
    Sure is nice to be able to turn back towards SomeOne for forgiveness when I prove untrustworthy.

    He is long suffering towards me, so I can be more patient towards those who have lost my trust.

    Rob
     
    #2 Deacon, Jan 16, 2020
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  3. Particular

    Particular Well-Known Member

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    Hmmm...
    This is a good question. It seems that many factors lead to trust. In other words, trust doesn't exist in isolation. Trust is built on other foundations.
    What then does trust require?
    For me, trust requires a track record of honorable behavior. It requires a person express a Godward attitude. It requires grace expressed and displayed. I'm sure there is more, but ultimately trust is not something that lives in a vacuum.
     
    #3 Particular, Jan 16, 2020
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  4. Reformed

    Reformed Well-Known Member
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    Correction Trust and forgiveness are NOT the same things...
     
    #4 Reformed, Jan 16, 2020
  5. Reformed

    Reformed Well-Known Member
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    Praise God for His long-suffering towards us. You bring up a good point about having patience towards those who have lost our trust. Having patience does not mean you are going to trust them again but it does recognize the value of the relationship.
     
    #5 Reformed, Jan 16, 2020
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  6. Yeshua1

    Yeshua1 Well-Known Member
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    key wording to me was "totally trust", and that would be just Jesus!
     
    #6 Yeshua1, Jan 17, 2020
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  7. JonC

    JonC Moderator
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    I think in terms of trust I am the opposite of @Deacon. I trust people until it is shown to me they are untrustworthy.

    I tend to be trusting and forgiving. Both have bitten me in the past but for the most part I think it has worked out. It is rare that I encounter untrustworthy people.

    I think my experience in the military may have contributed to this outlook.

    Also, I tend to assume that people hold the same values I hold. I expect them to be honest, but I also expect them to be a bit self-centered (a fault of mine).

    I do not see forgiveness as being related to trust.

    Forgiveness is something I believe should be extended based on Christ dying for us while we were sinners. Not to forgive is prideful because our least sin against God is eternally greater than the most extreme wrong committed against us.

    If someone lied about me they violated my trust. I would forgive them. To trust them again is not forgiveness but restoration. For me forgiveness is always proper. Restoration is not. Forgiveness is grace. Restoration is not.

    I find forgiveness easy. But I am a Deadhead.... peace, love, forgiveness and psychedelic posters.
     
    #7 JonC, Jan 17, 2020
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  8. Yeshua1

    Yeshua1 Well-Known Member
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    only Jesus is "fully trustworthy"
     
    #8 Yeshua1, Jan 17, 2020
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  9. JonC

    JonC Moderator
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    That is what I said. Only Jesus and I are fully trustworthy.
     
    #9 JonC, Jan 17, 2020
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  10. Particular

    Particular Well-Known Member

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    It seems that grace is tied to forgiveness. If you extend grace, you can forgive. If you do not extend grace you can't truly forgive.

    Is choosing to have faith in human kindness the same as trusting someone? I can be with untrustworthy people and still have faith that they will act kindly, but that doesn't mean I trust them. What you have written seems more an issue of you having faith that people will act kindly. Is that the same as trust?
     
    #10 Particular, Jan 17, 2020
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  11. JonC

    JonC Moderator
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    I do not mean I have faith in people to act kindly. I mean I generally trust people to do the right thing. Oddly, I do not think people are kind enough and I do not have faith in humanity.

    I guess the best way to put it is I tend to be trusting and to think the best of other people (in context of their behavior towards others).
     
    #11 JonC, Jan 17, 2020
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  12. Reynolds

    Reynolds Well-Known Member
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    I agree with you. The people I trust are definitely less than 5. To be exact, its three. I am very old school. If someone violates my trust, they will never (under any circumstances) have it again.
    I was brought up to always have the back of your friend No MATTER WHAT. In my younger days, there were many instances where I told a friend or family member he was wrong for starting a fight, but until we won it I had their back. There was many a bar fight that I had no idea why we were fighting, and I didnt need to know. I have the outlaw biker mentality when it comes to friendship and brotherhood, I am always loyal and I expect the same in return.
     
    #12 Reynolds, Jan 17, 2020
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  13. kyredneck

    kyredneck Well-Known Member
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    My Dad, my wife, and our two daughters, completely.

    No, you're being realistic.

    Congratulations for joining the rest of the human race.

    16 ...as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. Mt 10

    I can forgive it, never been able to forget it.

    Not sure about that.
     
    #13 kyredneck, Jan 17, 2020
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  14. Reformed

    Reformed Well-Known Member
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    Do you equate trust with forgiveness? If a person breaches your trust but genuinely repents and asks for your forgiveness, do you forgive? Are you willing to give them a measure of trust, sort of like what @Deacon wrote in post #2?
     
    #14 Reformed, Jan 17, 2020
  15. Reformed

    Reformed Well-Known Member
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    I edited that last comment in post #4. I meant to say trust and forgiveness are NOT the same things.
     
    #15 Reformed, Jan 17, 2020
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  16. Reformed

    Reformed Well-Known Member
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    We all extend a measure of trust that differs given the person or situation we encounter. I trust the HVAC technician is competent enough to fix my central air conditioner but I do not trust him to be alone in my home with my wife. I trust my doctor but will not hesitate to get a second opinion on a serious condition. Middle-age has allowed me to see past the careless days of my youth and view things with somewhat more mature eyes. When someone touts their own virtue I sense insecurity and a need to overcompensate. When someone calls too much attention to their failings I sense false humility. Both of those things cause me to have a short leash on trust.

    @Reynolds wrote about the loyalty he has to his friends. That is an admirable trait. Part of being a good friend is to hang in there with a friend who is struggling. I know someone who is an alcoholic. His alcoholism almost destroyed his family and strained his friendships. Thankfully, some of his friends came together to confront him over his addiction and made a covenant to love and help him no matter what. He is now in recovery and doing much better. His family relationships and friendships have been maintained. But what about trust? Do his family and friends trust him? I suppose they trust him in some areas but do not trust him in others. They probably do not trust him to have even one drink of alcohol, no matter how small.
     
    #16 Reformed, Jan 17, 2020
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  17. Reynolds

    Reynolds Well-Known Member
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    Not in a meaningful sense. I can forgive them, but I doubt I could ever trust them. Sure, everybody gets a measure of trust. Even my cousin who is the biggest liar I know has a measure of trust. (Trust but verify)
     
    #17 Reynolds, Jan 17, 2020
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  18. Rob_BW

    Rob_BW Well-Known Member
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    Ah, the careless days of youth, as you put it, certainly seemed a better time for giving and receiving trust. Young, single, with no real bills, it was easy to be trusting.

    Hard to be as trusting when I have a wife and kids relying on my decisions.
     
    #18 Rob_BW, Jan 18, 2020
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  19. alexander284

    alexander284 Well-Known Member

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    To me, trust is like respect. There is the trust and respect I give to anyone and everyone (as a fellow human being).

    But then there is a much deeper level of trust and respect I give only to those who are a part of my inner circle (which is very small).
     
    #19 alexander284, Jan 18, 2020
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