Twenty Nine Years!

Twenty nine years ago today, after several failed attempts of impatient rehab, I took my last drink of alcohol. And yes it was divine intervention. I drank myself sober and into a state of mind that was ready for complete surrender. I am getting ready to go out and play a round of golf with my little brother but will post later a little of what God did for me that day!

 

With my health, it takes a lot longer to get over a round of golf than it used to..... but I enjoyed the day.

I was born to a very normal family with great parents, the third of five sons. Most of my youth I was not what I would consider active rebellious, rather passive. Rebellious none the less. I started drinking regularly during high school, and continued thru half of my Navy carrier. As I said I went thru two inpatient treatments for alcoholism in the late 70's. Each time to resume drinking after a short period of time. My drinking cost me my first family, and getting to watch my two beautiful daughters grow up. As I said, that last night I drank myself sober. In great clarity I saw myself as I was and what I had become. All the excuses and blaming others fell away and I realized that the problem was not with 'them' , it was with me. It was as if God held up a mirror to my face and made me look at me. In AA, where I began my search for truth, they call it pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. In Christianity we call it conviction. I wish I could say that that night changed my life completely. However, that would be a lie. I no longer drank, but carried many of the lifestyle sins into sobriety. As time passed and life situations burdened me, I came to a renewed search for God. The place I started was with the Bible. As I grew in faith, I began to discard many of the sins that had plagued me. The world lost it's glamor, and things I used to enjoy and revel in became less and less important. There was never a conscious decision to leave any particular sin behind. It is just that the desire and importance of engaging in such things was no longer there. I praise God for changing the desires of my heart to things that more honor and glorify Him. I take no credit for any of this and tire of people telling me how proud they are of me. I am reminded that it is something that happened to and for me and not something I sought after. I praise God for his tender mercies imparted to such a "wretch as I".

I am in the fifth year of dealing with inoperable lung cancer but each day brings breath, life and renewed mercies. How blessed I have been.