Twenty Rules for Marriage Happiness

1. 1. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The very nearest approach to domestic happiness on earth is the cultivation on both sides of absolute unselfishness.
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   2. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Never both be angry at the same time.
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   3. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Never talk AT one another either alone or in company.
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   4. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Never talk loud to one another, unless the house is on fire.
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   5. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Let each one strive to yield most often to the wishes of the other.
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   6. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Let self denial be the daily aim and practice of each.
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   7. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Never find fault unless it is perfectly certain that a fault exists and always
      speak lovingly.
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   8. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Never taunt with a past mistake.
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   9. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Never allow a request to be repeated... do it immediately, if at all possible.
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   10. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Neglect the whole world rather than one another.
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   11. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Never make a remark at the expense of the another. If is meanness.
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   12. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Never meet without a loving welcome.
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   13. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Never let the sun go down upon any anger or grievance.
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   14. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Never let any fault you have committed go by until you have frankly
       confessed it and asked for forgiveness.
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   15. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Never forget the happy hours of early love.
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   16. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Never sigh about what might have been, but make the best of what IS.
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   17. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Never forget that marriage is ordained of God, and that His blessing
       alone can make it what it should ever be.
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   18. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Never be content until you know you are walking in the narrow way.
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   19. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Never let your hopes stop short of the eternal house... know the [/FONT]
   20. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Lord as your own and live for Him first of all. [/FONT]

 

Mr Tom

I'm not new just forgotten, I came to this board Feb. 2005, but I'll go to the welcome part:thumbs:

 

Unforgiveness imprisons you in your past.

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Does forgiveness take time? Do I need to confront the person who harmed me? Should I forgive someone who does not seek my forgiveness? How can I forgive myself for the things I have done? The thoughts of what happened still plague me. Can I ever get them out of my mind? Can I forgive someone when I don’t feel like forgiving? Does forgiveness mean I must resume a relationship with the person who caused me such heartache? Is there such a thing as forgiving God?

Forgiveness seems very hard for some people to ever give or to ask for. Christians possible have as much difficulty practicing giving forgiveness as many unsaved. We will find among many things, that forgiveness is an act of the will. It goes far beyond merely having some good feelings or sentiments toward someone, and it is far more that play acting that everything is fine. Forgiveness costs something. It always necessitates an act of the will... a change in action... and a change in attitude. It is my prayer that the Holy Spirit will take the study of the Word of God in this grand subject and help you to apply it to your own life.

Make no mistake: Forgiving is a choice!
God will never make you forgive anyone who has hurt you. You can decide not to forgive if you want to, but before you do, you’d better know what you’re getting yourself into. Because if you fail to forgive those who offend you, you are only hurting yourself seriously. Before we define and describe genuine forgiveness and many aspects about forgiveness - - - we need to discuss the problems associated with our occasional unwillingness to forgive.

Maybe you feel -- “It is justice that I need and that is what I will have!”
Maybe you could say, “I have a problem. It’s not that I can’t forgive him. I just don’t want to forgive him. I know that God has forgiven me, and the person who hurt me. So why do I have to turn around and forgive him?”
You have been hurt and you are putting your foot down. You’re not going to give the other person the satisfaction of your forgiving him. You feel justice is what he needs, not forgiveness. And since you’re the one who got hurt, you feel you’re the one to bring down the gavel. I. WHAT IF YOU DO NOT FORGIVE?
You are buying trouble . . . all kinds of personal inner heart trouble.
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] Unforgiveness imprisons you in your past.
What offense has broken your heart or scorched your spirit? Who inflicted your wounds?
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]If you have a ready answer to these questions, then the offense and the offender are still very much on your mind. You know exactly when and how the pain punctured your peace.
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]You know the offense, and perhaps all the details -- an insult, harsh words, a betrayal, a business deal turned sour. Is the face of the person constantly before you? Or it is more like a thorn, a persistent, gnawing pain; your heart is heavy. Maybe you feel depressed over it all, or you seethe inside at times, or you vacillate between tears and rage. As long as you fail to identify and forgive offenders and the offense, you will be shackled to your past.
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Unforgiveness will keep the pain alive, keep it all as an open wound, and you will never heal. You will go through life feeling just as bad as you do now, or perhaps worse. . . with no relief in sight. Or you can enter into the alternative -- You can forgive the person who hurt you and get on with your life. Forgiveness opens the door and sets you free from your past.

Unforgiveness breeds bitterness, resentments, hostilities.
(Col. 3:19; Eph. 5:30-32; Gal. 5:22-23)
Bitterness is one of the most devastating sins that can be directly traced to the failure to forgive. (Bitterness, resentment will spill over into other relationships.) You become caustic when you continually nurse the wound inflicted by another person. . . this is true of any of us.
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]It is like malignant cancer for it is malignant thoughts and harassing memories that eventually distort how you look at life.
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Anger begets rage for when anger begins to rage, you can easily get out of control. As your emotions begin to run wild, your mind may do the same. You doubtless will entertain desperate ideas for revenge. Then even casual conversations with others becomes your forum for slander, gossip, and innuendoes against the offender.

Unforgiveness gives Satan an open door into your life. (Eph. 4:26,27)
The unresolved anger and bitterness which accompanies a failure to forgive is a welcome mat for demonic activity. Satan and his demons will have a foothold in your life! What is a foothold? It is a point of access and involvement. It is a basis of operation that allows the enemy to advance. We might think of a demonic foothold in the terms of occult practice, ritual abuse, etc., BUT -- just as real are malignant emotions, attitudes spawned by unforgiveness inviting demonic activity. This ground of entrance can be granted to the power of darkness by a continual unforgiving spirit, a habitual life of immorality -- lust-- or a life of carnality -- each gives a green light to satan to proceed. (Eph. 6:10-14)

Unforgiveness hinders your fellowship with God. (Matt. 6:6-15; Mk. 11:25-26)
The forgiveness from the Father that the Lord Jesus mentions here is not the initial forgiveness or judicial forgiveness we receive when we personally place faith in Christ as Savior. (Eph. 1:7; Col. 1:14; Jh. 1:12)
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]If your eternal salvation depended on any action of yours after believing in Christ, then you could never be sure of salvation, and salvation would be a matter of works.
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]It is not that we are saved by grace through faith, (Eph. 2: 8-9) and then kept saved by our works. Pet. 1:5; Jh. 6:37; Jh. 10:27; Jh. 5:24
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Your standing (or position) with God depends solely upon what Christ has already accomplished for you by His death on the cross. (Rom. 5:8-10)
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]In Matthew six, Christ is speaking about daily items -- daily bread, daily forgiveness from God for ourselves and daily forgiveness from us to others. He is talking about a family matter -- forgiveness concerning daily sins, a matter of fellowship with Him, and with one another. (John 13) When you sin as a Christian you are to confess your sin to the Lord. (I Jh. 1:9; Prov. 28:13; Psa. 51; 32:1-5)

Since it is a sin not to forgive someone: (Matt. 6:14-15; Mk. 11:25-26) Your attitude of unforgiveness must be confessed to God as sin, and forsaken as a sin, or you forfeit a measure of fellowship, You forfeit -- a clean heart, a right spirit, and a removal of guilt concerning the sins you need to confess as a child of the family of God.
(Psa. 51; Psa. 32:1-5; I Jh. 1:7, 9, cf. 2:1-2)
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] II. WHAT IS TRUE FORGIVENESS LIKE?
To forgive is to turn the key, open the cell door and let the prisoner free.
To forgive is to write in large letters across a debt, “Nothing owed!”
To forgive is to relax a stranglehold on a wrestling opponent.
To forgive is like smashing a clay pot into a thousand pieces so it can never be pieced together again.

Don’t think. . .
We earn our forgiveness from God by forgiving others, or we earn our fellowship with God by forgiving others.
We never earn anything, merit, or deserve anything from God.
Rather, we cannot truly ask forgiveness if our hearts are not right with other people. Are you at odds with God because you do not forgive? As long as you act as judge of another person. . . God will stand in judgment of you.
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